A Beginner's Guide to Westeros: The Kingsguard

A Beginner's Guide to Westeros: The Kingsguard — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Game of Thrones is now showing on HBO. The production and promotion of this series has been fantastic, but not everyone tuning in may be familiar with the series of books upon which it is based. A Song of Ice and Fire, currently spanning four expansive novels, introduced us to the world of Westeros and provides a plethora of extensive information. Presented here is a bit of that information to help newcomers to this lush and living world get and keep their bearings. All information is presented free of spoilers and describe the circumstances at the beginning of the series... In the wake of his conquest of the Seven Kingdoms, Aegon Targaryen established a personal guard for himself and those of his royal bloodline. He chose seven sworn knights and called upon them to swear additional oaths to distinguish them from the rank and file. These brave men wore all white capes, carried plain white shields and eschewed excessive ornamentation or sigils on their armor. In this manner, they were not only plainly adorned but also plainly meant to be seen and not heard. As they accompany royalty at all hours and in all situations, they are aware of all manner of courtly intrigue, and thus expected to be just as adept with discretion and wisdom as they are with sword and horse. They are the Kingsguard. Like the Night's Watch far to the north, the Kingsguard take oaths that forsake their claims to such things as lands and titles. They forswear family, children, marriage and any allegiance to nobility save for their sovereign. They also swear to serve for life. Even if crippling wounds, wasting illness or old age would prevent them from serving in the field of other lords, a brother of the Kingsguard must maintain their duty until their very last breath is drawn. The most senior, most experienced or most favored member of the Kingsguard is named Lord Commander, and charged with coordinating the activities of his sworn brothers as well as maintaining the ongoing history of the order, which has existed uninterrupted since the Conquest. The records of the Kingsguard's names, deeds and noble deaths are recorded in the Book of Brothers, also known as White Book. Some famous Lord Commanders of the White Cloaks: Ser Duncan the Tall was not only a member of the Kingsguard but a close personal friend of King Aegon V during the king's childhood. Together, "Dunk and Egg" went on many adventures throughout the Seven Kingdoms. Ser Gerold Hightower was the Lord Commander under the Mad King Aerys. During Robert's Rebellion he and two of his sworn brothers were charged with the protection of the Tower of Joy. He fell in single combat to Eddard Stark. Ser Barristan Selmy, aka Barristan the Bold war pardoned for serving under Aerys and selected as Lord Commander under Robert Baratheon. A cautious and respectful knight, he is exemplary of the virtues to which members of the Kingsguard should aspire. He was, however, the oldest member of the order at the time of King Robert's untimely death. Even before the fateful boar hunt, Joffrey Baratheon had taken to calling him 'Barristan the Old'. His dismissal from the Kingsguard is the first in the history of the Seven Kingdoms, as members of the Kingsguard are sworn to serve for the rest of their lives. Ser Jaime Lannister is a member of the Kingsguard whose history belies his spotless white cloak. It was Jaime, after all, who stabbed Mad King Aerys in the back during the sack of King's Landing. Eddard Stark found the Kingslayer upon the Iron Throne while the city burned. Afterward, Robert Baratheon allowed Jaime to remain in the Kingsguard, a move partially motivated by the debt owed by Robert to Jaime's father, Tywin Lannister. In the wake of Robert's death and the subsequent shifting of power, Jaime has been named Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. If you would like to know more, please consult the official HBO viewer's guide or the Wiki of Ice and Fire (beware of spoilers). Also, if you find anything amiss or incorrect in these guides, please inform me.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

A Beginner's Guide to Westeros: The Kingsguard

A Beginner's Guide to Westeros: The Kingsguard — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Game of Thrones is now showing on HBO. The production and promotion of this series has been fantastic, but not everyone tuning in may be familiar with the series of books upon which it is based. A Song of Ice and Fire, currently spanning four expansive novels, introduced us to the world of Westeros and provides a plethora of extensive information. Presented here is a bit of that information to help newcomers to this lush and living world get and keep their bearings. All information is presented free of spoilers and describe the circumstances at the beginning of the series... In the wake of his conquest of the Seven Kingdoms, Aegon Targaryen established a personal guard for himself and those of his royal bloodline. He chose seven sworn knights and called upon them to swear additional oaths to distinguish them from the rank and file. These brave men wore all white capes, carried plain white shields and eschewed excessive ornamentation or sigils on their armor. In this manner, they were not only plainly adorned but also plainly meant to be seen and not heard. As they accompany royalty at all hours and in all situations, they are aware of all manner of courtly intrigue, and thus expected to be just as adept with discretion and wisdom as they are with sword and horse. They are the Kingsguard. Like the Night's Watch far to the north, the Kingsguard take oaths that forsake their claims to such things as lands and titles. They forswear family, children, marriage and any allegiance to nobility save for their sovereign. They also swear to serve for life. Even if crippling wounds, wasting illness or old age would prevent them from serving in the field of other lords, a brother of the Kingsguard must maintain their duty until their very last breath is drawn. The most senior, most experienced or most favored member of the Kingsguard is named Lord Commander, and charged with coordinating the activities of his sworn brothers as well as maintaining the ongoing history of the order, which has existed uninterrupted since the Conquest. The records of the Kingsguard's names, deeds and noble deaths are recorded in the Book of Brothers, also known as White Book. Some famous Lord Commanders of the White Cloaks: Ser Duncan the Tall was not only a member of the Kingsguard but a close personal friend of King Aegon V during the king's childhood. Together, "Dunk and Egg" went on many adventures throughout the Seven Kingdoms. Ser Gerold Hightower was the Lord Commander under the Mad King Aerys. During Robert's Rebellion he and two of his sworn brothers were charged with the protection of the Tower of Joy. He fell in single combat to Eddard Stark. Ser Barristan Selmy, aka Barristan the Bold war pardoned for serving under Aerys and selected as Lord Commander under Robert Baratheon. A cautious and respectful knight, he is exemplary of the virtues to which members of the Kingsguard should aspire. He was, however, the oldest member of the order at the time of King Robert's untimely death. Even before the fateful boar hunt, Joffrey Baratheon had taken to calling him 'Barristan the Old'. His dismissal from the Kingsguard is the first in the history of the Seven Kingdoms, as members of the Kingsguard are sworn to serve for the rest of their lives. Ser Jaime Lannister is a member of the Kingsguard whose history belies his spotless white cloak. It was Jaime, after all, who stabbed Mad King Aerys in the back during the sack of King's Landing. Eddard Stark found him upon the Iron Throne while the city burned. Afterward, Robert Baratheon allowed Jaime to remain in the Kingsguard, a move partially motivated by the debt owed by Robert to Jaime's father, Tywin Lannister. In the wake of Robert's death and the subsequent shifting of power, Jaime has been named Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. If you would like to know more, please consult the official HBO viewer's guide or the Wiki of Ice and Fire (beware of spoilers). Also, if you find anything amiss or incorrect in these guides, please inform me.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Krull

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Krull — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/krull.mp3] This, it was given me to know: that purveyors of the Internet value the reviews and criticism of others especially in mixed media. This, it was also given me to know: there are things we remember from our childhood that will no longer hold their charm as we grow old. But this I cannot know: whether or not such criticisms will lead to anything beyond a few additional visitors, especially when I ape the tone and timbre of the opening narration of the film in question. In this case, the film is 1983's Krull. Krull is a world in a distant corner of the galaxy, and it is under attack by the powerful and malevolent Beast. He rules from a teleporting palace of dark magic called the Black Fortress and employs an evil army of creatures known as Slayers. Krull is not without its defenders, two mighty kingdoms traditionally at war. The kings will form an alliance, however, at the behest of their children: Prince Colwyn and Princess Lyssa. The night of their wedding is when the Slayers attack. So we have a story that isn't terribly complicated. But simple does not mean bad. Sometimes the simple stories are the best. Let me give you some examples: a dude that fights monsters has to prove he's not a dick before he can have his magic monster-fighting hammer back. Five criminals are picked to pull off a heist for a mysterious guy they all fear. A little guy has to destroy a rather evil piece of jewelry. And here we have an actually kinda charming prince storming an evil space-traveling castle to rescue his princess.
All this and brains, too. Not to mention chutzpah. Let's face it, the story isn't any more complicated than your typical Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Considering this was originally intended to be the Dungeons & Dragons movie, that should come as no surprise. Objections of the late great Gary Gygax aside, there's a lot going on here that is very much D&D. The first title for this film was the Dragons of Krull, but some licensing issue lost to time caused the title to change. It also somehow caused the dragons to disappear. But we still have a good core party of warrior, thief, wizard & cleric. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which. Despite its trappings of tabletop gaming and some of its other trope-happy aspects, Krull has a good cast of interesting and well-developed characters. Colwyn is headstrong and brave but also willing to admit his faults and strive to overcome it. Princess Lyssa is also brave, as well as smart. The comic relief isn't entirely annoying or useless, the dour cyclops is a great presence even if he speaks little and the small seer boy is more endearing than anything else. And let's not forget the presence of a young Liam Neeson & Robbie Coltraine! The movie gets bonus points on this talent alone. And the talent isn't wasted. The story's as simple as they come but the dialog and characterization are rather well-rounded. There isn't much scenery-chewing going on, at least not by the actors. James Horner's score, on the other hand, has bombast and dramatics coming out its ears. This film came out a year after Star Trek II, another movie that he scored, and they sound very similar, despite one being a nuanced space opera and the other the highest of high adventures. Oh, it's grand and appropriate for the setting, to be sure, it's just that it tends to overwhelm the action on-screen now and again rather than complimenting it. But honestly, if the biggest criticism one can bring to bear is that the score could be dialed down a couple notches, that's another point in the movie's favor. There are a couple places where the special effects and other bits are starting to show their age in Krull, the villain is more effective when he's heard and not seen, the story as mentioned is pretty simple and some of the acting is admittedly nothing award-winning. But the whole affair is so earnest and charming that it overcomes these failings and takes on a timelessness that normally is held by such adventure sagas as the Lord of the Rings or the Chronicles of Narnia. It's earnestness means that it doesn't quite fall into the realm of camp that Flash Gordon does, even though they might seem similar at first glance to some viewers. Krull's charm comes from the honesty of its characters and the straightforwardness of its story, rather than the degree to which it sticks its tongue in its cheek. Now, this all may come as high or perhaps even undeserved praise, but I for one would rather see unique ideas like this, with intriguing and surreal set designs and characters that actually behave like real or at least likable people, get produced rather than another franchise knock-off or a Tyler Perry movie.
Colwyn, seen here with the deadliest starfish ever. For every moment the seams in the story's age start to show, there's at least one where the characters shine through in their writing and portrayal. For every knock you might make about the premise being cliched or character motivation being too simplistic, a merit in the ideas in play or a stylistic touch of coolness can be pointed out. All in all, the pros in this film far outweigh its cons. If it's adventure you seek, unapologetic for being unique if that uniqueness means the occasional silly moment but looking to tell you a tale you'll remember, Krull belongs on your Netflix queue. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

Book Review: Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey

Book Review: Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm sure you're familiar with treasure maps. They lay out the land for you. They show you a path to some sort of prize. They'll tell you what dangers you will face. What they don't tell you is what the treasure will actually be, or how valuable it will be to you. Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is like that. Just imagine the treasure map is smelling faintly of booze, covered with profanity scrawled in Crayon and smeared with... ...well, it's smeared. Kidding aside, it's a valuable resource if you're a writer or aspiring writer of any kind. Novelist? Magazine writer? Game developer? Postcard scribe? Coffee mug actualizer? Executive Vice President of Placemats? There's something for you in this book. (I said kidding aside, didn't I? Dammit.) Admittedly, the writing and advice of Chuck Wendig is infectious. This is a book that will make you laugh, make you think and make you question your own sanity. You'll wonder if Chuck somehow crawled inside your head while he was writing Cannes-worthy screenplays and juggling his freelance gigs with the new baby his intrepid wife just had. Because a lot of his experiences feel like they are talking to or about you, personally. At least, they do to me. So maybe I'm the crazy one. I'm sure some doctors would back that one up. I could go through article by article, post by post, and tell you exactly what is in Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey. But doing so would cheapen the experience. The journey laid out in its pages, a trail blazed in the posts of his terribleminds blog and bounced off of the rubbery brains of his peers, is one that should be taken (if possible) without preamble, explanation or tutorial save for the following: Get in, sit down, shut the fuck up and hang the fuck on. The book includes more notes on his thoughts, expansions and even reversals of his opinions, frank questions posed to the author and plenty of Chuck's signature style. It will brighten some days, and others may quickly tire of it. Your mileage may vary, but the advice and anecdotes are more than the sum of their stylistic parts and worthy reading for any would-be author. It's just hard to say how much each bit will help said would-be author, which again falls into that whole variable mileage thing. The mind of a writer is a dark, confusing and occasionally frightening place. Chuck wades in with a knife between his teeth, a shotgun in one hand and a bottle of gin in the other. The path a writer must take to publication is fraught with danger and pitfalls. Chuck shows you how to sidestep the pits and tell the danger to fuck off home. The excuses of a writer that keeps them from writing are many and varied. Chuck demonstrates the proper technique in beating the shit out of those excuses with that bottle after you've drained it of its biting but somehow soothing contents. Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is the writer's life in microcosm. The insanity, the drive, the laughter and tears, the deepest valleys and the dizzying heights - Chuck Wendig covers it all and somehow emerges on the other side with a smile on his bearded face. If you have the wherewithal to pick out the gems that are missing from your experience, you can do the same. Hell, you might even grow a beard of your own while reading it, and for you lady writers, I apologize on Chuck's behalf if you weren't planning on growing one. If you're a writer, thinking of being a writer or wondering exactly why that writer you know is chained up in the corner frothing at the mouth and grumbling to himself about unicorn semen and candy-apple witch tits, you should already own Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey. It's a collection of advice, anecdotes and cautionary tales bound together by a love of the written word and the power of good booze. Get it, and if you do so in actual print as opposed to some sort of electronic hoojeywhatsis, put it on the writing shelf next to Elements of Style. And let me know how that goes. I'm pretty sure Chuck can take those Strunk and White dudes in a fight.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

Book Review: Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey

Book Review: Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm sure you're familiar with treasure maps. They lay out the land for you. They show you a path to some sort of prize. They'll tell you what dangers you will face. What they don't tell you is what the treasure will actually be, or how valuable it will be to you. Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is like that. Just imagine the treasure map is smelling faintly of booze, covered with profanity scrawled in Crayon and smeared with... ...well, it's smeared. Kidding aside, it's a valuable resource if you're a writer or aspiring writer of any kind. Novelist? Magazine writer? Game developer? Postcard scribe? Coffee mug actualizer? Executive Vice President of Placemats? There's something for you in this book. (I said kidding aside, didn't I? Dammit.) Admittedly, the writing and advice of Chuck Wendig is infectious. This is a book that will make you laugh, make you think and make you question your own sanity. You'll wonder if Chuck somehow crawled inside your head while he was writing Cannes-worth screenplays and juggling his freelance gigs with the new baby his intrepid wife just had. Because a lot of his experiences feel like they are talking to or about you, personally. At least, they do to me. So maybe I'm the crazy one. I'm sure some doctors would back that one up. I could go through article by article, post by post, and tell you exactly what is in Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey. But doing so would cheapen the experience. The journey laid out in its pages, a trail blazed in the posts of his terribleminds blog and bounced off of the rubbery brains of his peers, is one that should be taken (if possible) without preamble, explanation or tutorial save for the following: Get in, sit down, shut the fuck up and hang the fuck on. The book includes more notes on his thoughts, expansions and even reversals of his opinions, frank questions posed to the author and plenty of Chuck's signature style. It will brighten some days, and others may quickly tire of it. Your mileage may vary, but the advice and anecdotes are more than the sum of their stylistic parts and worthy reading for any would-be author. It's just hard to say how much each bit will help said would-be author, which again falls into that whole variable mileage thing. The mind of a writer is a dark, confusing and occasionally frightening place. Chuck wades in with a knife between his teeth, a shotgun in one hand and a bottle of gin in the other. The path a writer must take to publication is fraught with danger and pitfalls. Chuck shows you how to sidestep the pits and tell the danger to fuck off home. The excuses of a writer that keeps them from writing are many and varied. Chuck demonstrates the proper technique in beating the shit out of those excuses with that bottle after you've drained it of its biting but somehow soothing contents. Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is the writer's life in microcosm. The insanity, the drive, the laughter and tears, the deepest valleys and the dizzying heights - Chuck Wendig covers it all and somehow emerges on the other side with a smile on his bearded face. If you have the wherewithal to pick out the gems that are missing from your experience, you can do the same. Hell, you might even grow a beard of your own while reading it, and for you lady writers, I apologize on Chuck's behalf if you weren't planning on growing one. If you're a writer, thinking of being a writer or wondering exactly why that writer you know is chained up in the corner frothing at the mouth and grumbling to himself about unicorn semen and candy-apple witch tits, you should already own Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey. It's a collection of advice, anecdotes and cautionary tales bound together by a love of the written word and the power of good booze. Get it, and if you do so in actual print as opposed to some sort of electronic hoojeywhatsis, put it on the writing shelf next to Elements of Style. And let me know how that goes. I'm pretty sure Chuck can take those Strunk and White dudes in a fight.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

The Art of Thor: Build to Attack

The Art of Thor: Build to Attack — Blue Ink Alchemy

You don't build stuff like this just because it looks cool.

There is no instance of a nation benefiting from prolonged warfare.

It's tempting to get ahead of ourselves. It's why folks rack up debt. In the context of StarCraft 2, though, you may begin to think that what you're doing in the process of learning macro skills is boring. You see live casts and replays of pro gamers, seeing the builds they use very effectively. You want to do the same, because they win and because it's more interesting than what you need to do to build fundamental skills. Stop that. I humbly refer you back to these two entries in which I talk about what you should be building and how often you should be spending your resources. If you do this, over and over again until at least a couple promotions have gone by, you'll be laying a stronger foundation for pulling off those daring gambits you see the pros execute. If you focus instead on some other strategy, you may get past Bronze or even Silver, but the higher ranks are going to be more of a frustration. Experienced players are already well-prepared for your cheese. So you're building basic units, builders and the means to keep building both. What do you do with them, though? Should they stand around your base protecting your pretty buildings? It can be an effective defense, sure, and if you want to play that way, go for it. In my humble opinion, however, the quickest way to end the fight is through direct, uncompromised aggression. As long as your production buildings are humming along and churning out more units, there's no reason not to send the bulk of the units you've already built up your opponent's ramp. Especially in, say, the first six minutes of the game. Before they can reasonably get any sort of high-tech response mounted, you should make them spend their resources on replacing whatever you manage to destroy. You can't do that staying at home. Now, I'm not saying you should follow every move your units make. At low levels, micro-management isn't nearly as important as macro skills. But if your forces manage to past their defenses, there's no reason not to direct them to the mineral line. Be it in their starting base or an expansion, blasting workers slows down their economy and is annoying as hell. While they recover their lost time and units, you're building away for an even bigger assault. Worried they'll do the same? You should be. But if you're building as much as you should, constantly producing units and ensuring you have enough food for everybody, the assaults your opponent mount in response should not do a great deal of damage. You might lose a few units but you have more on the way. If your opponent gets behind you with air units or some sort of stealth attack, chances are you haven't been attacking enough. It takes time to get air units, time you could be spending sending ever-growing waves of basic infantry against them to distract, harass, inhibit and destroy. Sure, you'll play the occasional hour-long macro game, with top-tier units slugging it out while you trade bases. But you learn little from such experiences. Quick wins, and quick losses as well, teach us a lot more about the strengths and weaknesses in our styles of play. Learn these lessons well, refine your style as much as possible, and just keep building and attacking. It's the advice I've gotten and am trying to follow. I'm sure it'll get me out of Bronze league. Someday. Hopefully before Heart of the Swarm gets here.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

The Art of Thor: Spend, Spend, Spend

The Art of Thor: Spend, Spend, Spend — Blue Ink Alchemy

Somebody's gotta feed these boys before they go out fightin', and that somebody is you.

Thus, though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been associated with long delays.

You don't get bonus points for unspent resources at the end of a match. It's a concept that can be difficult for new players to wrap their heads around. The biggest, baddest units in any given race's arsenal costs quite a bit of minerals and gas. However, while you're saving up for that shiny fleet of capital ships primed to rain death and destruction on the foolish folk arrayed against you, they're likely to be churning out squadrons and legions of lesser units for a fraction of the cost. And those 'lesser' units just might walk into your compound while you're sussing out all of the tech necessary for that pinnacle of your race's achievements. Let's do a bit of math on this very subject.
"This is my C-14 Impaler Gauss rifle! There are many like it, but this one is mine!" This is a Terran Marine. He costs 50 minerals, consumes 1 supply ("food") and is produced in 25 seconds. He comes from a Barracks, a structure costing 150 minerals built after a construction period of 60 seconds. In turn it cannot be produced until you make a Supply Depot, costing 100 minerals and 30 seconds. And you need an SCV to build all this stuff. That's another 50 minerals, 1 food and 17 seconds production time. So the total cost of your first marine is 350 minerals, 2 food and 132 seconds total.
"The Yamato is loaded. And so am I!" Arguably the most powerful single unit in the Terran arsenal, the Battlecruiser costs 400 minerals and 300 gas by itself. It is produced at a Starport, which cannot be built without a Factory. The Factory is dependent upon the Barracks. Additionally, you must produce at least one Refinery and sortie a number of SCVs to harvest Vespine gas from it. Oh, and you can't build one without a Tech Lab on the Starport and a separate building called a Fusion Core. So, crunching numbers like so, here's the total cost of your first Battlecruiser, listing minerals/gas/time for each building and minerals/gas/food/time for each unit: Supply Depot (100/30) + Barracks (150/60) + Refinery (75/30) & 4 SCVs (50/1/17 x4) + Factory (150/100/60) + Starport & Tech Lab (200/125/75) + Fusion Core (150/150/65) + Battlecruiser (400/300/6/90) = 1425 minerals, 675 gas, 10 supply & 478 seconds. See where I'm going with this? For the cost of a single Battlecruiser, you could field 10 Marines quite comfortably. And with the surplus gas you could give them a weapons upgrade, combat shields or stimpacks. Now, if your macro is good and your economy humming along, you can produce a cadre of bloodthirsty, Gauss-toting Marines while teching you way up to a Battlecruiser or two, but the point of this little exercise in arithmetic is to demonstrate how much easier it is to produce the basic units of a race, and how important that habit can be to a burgeoning player. Any race's macro can and should include constantly producing workers and basic units along with climbing up a chosen tech tree as a strategy begins to grow. As your skills improve, producing a 'backbone' of basic warriors concurrently with your shiny high-tech units will become second nature. And when thinking about this process no longer becomes entirely necessary, your mind will be free to worry about things like counters to your opponent's units and canny ways to apply pressure and exploit map advantages. But you have to walk before you can run, and in StarCraft terms that means spending your resources quickly and effectively. Start with the basics, and go from there.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy