Monday, January 2, 2017

Reignition, Part 1

Reignition, Part 1 — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy Wizards of the Coast
[spoiler effect="blind" show="Disclaimer" hide="Close"] The following is a non-profit work of fan-fiction. Magic: the Gathering and its attendant characters, locations, terminology, and events are owned by Wizards of the Coast, Richard Garfield, Mark Rosewater, et al. All rights reserved. Please support the official release.
[/spoiler] Hundreds of years invested in study and spellcraft, and yet, I am scrambling for time. Teferi was never one to panic. He went about his work diligently but in an unhurried fashion. While his temporal senses were definitely in an agitated state, he himself maintained his control and delicately worked the observation of the timestream. It was precise work: one misstep or incomplete calculation, and he could throw all of Dominaria — and perhaps multiple planes — into absolute chaos. Perhaps more than any other Planeswalker, he was keenly aware of not repeating the mistakes of the past. He worked alone. The presence of other mages would have been a distraction, and he could afford no division of his focus. Tomes and scrolled hovered in open states around him as he made his preparations. It would be one of the most powerful and reality-bending spells of his career, but it was necessary, if his home plane was to survive what was coming. What irked Teferi, in the back of his mind, was the vague nature of the portents. He only knew something was coming. Something both familiar and unfathomable. He'd heard rumors of eldritch horrors on other planes. His research and curiosity had made him oblivious to the details, and disinclined to investigate, until his instincts had grown to insistent to ignore. As one of the most adept archmages with time, wasting it was perhaps Teferi's biggest pet peeve. And now, even as he made slow and careful motions with his arms to pull the threads of mana together, he felt an urgency that threatened to overcome his concentration with irritation. There was nothing else for it. Time was running out. Teferi closed his eyes and let his mind sink into the timestream. It was an old, familiar feeling, a comfort more than anything else. It felt like slowly sliding into a cool, running stream of fresh water, the babbling of the currents a pleasant white noise. So many events and tragedies and triumphs flashed through the mind's eye of the archmage as he began to search for his objective. The past was a fragile thing. As he sped through the decades gone by, Teferi kept his mind focused and calm. He had no desire to disrupt the timeline, to split things into fractured alternate possibilities. Truly, if he was to preserve the future of Dominaria, he had to preserve its past as well. He decelerated in his mental movement, his astral form holding up its hands to slow the flow of time as it had been. There. One hundred and three years in his past. He was in the right time. Now to the right place. He spread his astral arms and shot across the surface of the plane like a Bird of Paradise. He left colors of mana in his wake, bleeding the magic he had gathered to make his journey. Again, precision was the watchword; overshoot his destination, and he wouldn't have enough mana to work the spell he'd spent so many sleepless nights preparing for this moment. The deep greens and pulsing power of Skyshroud was, thankfully, hard to ignore, and he dove towards his final destination, slowing time as he did. This was the work of split-seconds, of the tiniest fractions of time. He followed the mana, the moments, until he found who he sought. And then, he waited, counting microseconds. He watched movements in slow motion. In his mind's eye he could see synapses firing, decisions being made, resignation settling in along with satisfaction and acceptance. His heart twinged. This would be hard. He knew it would be difficult to accept. But his choices were few and his time was short. Now. The space between heartbeats, after the spell had been completed and before the explosion took place. He reached out with his own mana, the power screaming from his soul. He wrapped himself around the Spark in front of him and pulled. He had done this sort of thing before, giving up his own Spark to save Dominaria when he sealed the time rift over Shiv. This was different, but the concept was similar enough that he'd been able to cobble together this spell. The Spark resisted, having accepted its fate. Teferi set his astral jaw and pulled harder. The moment stretched almost to infinity as the mages fought. Finally, Teferi prevailed, and he mentally tugged the life-line of mana that connected him to the present, taking the Spark with him. In the present, he pushed the Spark out away from him, despite the hole in his heart calling to it. To take it upon himself would be to completely obliterate the soul attached to it, or at the very least, cast it into the dark void between planes, scattered and fragmented, shades of its former self. This was the last step of his plan, and the most difficult one, as green and white mana had never been his strongest suits. Sweat on his physical brow, short of breath, Teferi summoned the last of his strength. He drew the remnants of his mana reserves into the final spell, and though his fingers ached and his eyes watered, he finished the incantation and pushed his power into his intent. Slowly, before his eyes, a nervous system began to appear, floating in midair, an eerie scene made all the more macabre when bones and muscles spread from the bright light of the Spark. His teeth ground together as he carefully followed the patterns of the spell and tapped the very foundations of his strength and knowledge. Finally, in a burst of power, with a soft thunderclap and an explosion of force, a body crumpled to the floor before him, naked and steaming and gasping for breath. He managed to find the green cloak he'd set aside and spread it over the figure before him before he, too, collapsed. "Hello... Freyalise." The words came out cracked and halting, his mouth dry and his lungs burning. "How..." The half-elf's own voice was wracked with pain and confusion. "How dare you." "I had no choice," Teferi said, managing to sit up. "Don't worry — you finished the spell. Skyshroud was still saved. Your sacrifice was not in vain." He reached up to a workbench, pulling down an eyepatch to hand to his friend. She snatched it from his grip angrily. "By all of the gods in all of the planes, you are an arrogant son of a bitch." "I had —" "No choice, I know." She donned the eyepatch and sat up herself, pulling the cloak around her more due to the chill in the study than self-consciousness. "You could have taken my Spark for yourself, to do whatever it is you need to do." Teferi shook his head. "That is not my fate." "Hypocrite!" Freyalise spat on the floor. "You dare speak of fate when you do this to me?" "You completed your fate," Teferi replied. "But your particular skills, passion, experience — they are what will be needed to face what is to come." "And 'what is to come,' Teferi?" A shiver ran down Teferi's spine. "I don't know." Freyalise stared at him, the fire in her eye changing from anger to confusion. "You... don't know?" Teferi shook his head. Freyalise paused. He could see her emotions shifting. They had been allies, once, and had come to know one another well. Her expression softened. "You're afraid." Teferi nodded. "That's something I never thought I'd see." She rose, looking around the study. "Do you have any clues? Any at all?" Teferi, slowly, got to his feet. His legs almost didn't cooperate. He reached out with a tiny, well-practiced spell, and pulled his staff to him with his mind. His mana, at least, was returning. Not quickly enough. "I know that something is about to happen here that is both unprecedented and familiar. Revenge and horror wait on the edges of my perception. While I cannot discern details, I know that without you, the plane will fall." Freyalise studied the archmage. "What must I do?" Teferi had always admired Freyalise. In the time leading up to her sacrifice in Skyshroud, she had put aside her selfish ambitions and her pride in light of their association. Her anger at him had been a knee-jerk reaction based on old patterns. Now that she was here, she was ready to give even more to save their home. Teferi had been counting on that, but still felt a bit less terrified seeing it for himself. Hope is all I have. He turned to a bookshelf nearby, stepping over the fallen tomes and scrolls he'd needed to rescue Freyalise in that split-second between completing her spell and dying for Dominaria. He found the spellbook he sought, turned, and handed it to the half-elf. "You need to take this to Karn. Find him, bring him here, and help him study the text. He'll understand." "How do you know?" "That's the only thing I know for sure about the future. It's so dark for me. And I think I know why." Before he could elaborate, the study shifted around them. Bookshelves groaned and flagstones rattled, slowly lifting from the hardwood beneath as the grout splintered between them. The mages turned as one towards the undeniable source. Freyalise reached instinctively for a weapon, and murmured an elven curse when she found none. "Go," Teferi said. "Get out of here." "I am not going to leave you after you just saved my life." "I did not save your life only for you to lose it here." "You are too weak," Freyalise insisted. "I can help!" "Help me by finding Karn!" Teferi looked over his shoulder. "Please! Go!" Freyalise stared at her ally, swallowing. Teferi managed a smile. "Seeing you here, Freyalise... I'm not afraid anymore. I can face this. Please. Go." After a moment in which she might have protested one more time, Freyalise nodded. With a soft pop of imploding air, she was gone. The trail of mana lead back to Skyshroud. Teferi worked a brief spell to mask that trail, mixing it with the ambient noise of magic in his study. The effort almost made him pass out. Freyalise was right — he was weak. But he would face this the way she had faced her sacrifice a century before. Bravely, calmly, knowing he had done all he could to save his home. The bookshelves bent out of the way of a dark, swirling gateway to another plane. Teferi turned to face it, mouth twisting in disgust. It had neither the elegance nor cleanliness of a Planeswalker's transition from one plane to another. Dull, shadowy metal tendrils reached through the portal's edges to keep the portal open as small creatures crawled through, chattering one to the other in an odd machine tongue. Darksteel Myr, carrying an undeniable corruption. Teferi gripped his staff, readying what mana he could. It all dissipated when the figure stepped through the portal behind the myr. He — it? — was tall. Piercing blue eyes studied Teferi, dark brown hair rustling in the unnatural wind of the portal. Beneath the sideburns, Teferi could see tendrils of darksteel sunk into pallid flesh like claws. The figure's clothes were a hodgepodge of magical armor and bare skin, married with splotches consistent with phthisis and more swirls of seething darksteel. Teferi felt tears sting his eyes. "No." His voice was a whisper. "Not you." "Teferi of Jamuraa. You have been chosen by the Expeditionary Forces of New Phyrexia. You shall serve as an example of the glorious new order." The response was not conveyed in one voice, but many. He heard grinding gears, skittering legs, bubbling oil. He heard the screeching of corrupted birds, the hiss of insidious soldiers, the soft whispers of Praetors. And, under it all, the anguish of an old friend. "No. Venser. Oh, no." The figure smiled. It was a parody of an expression. It was as if the Praetors knew how human expressions worked but were ignorant of their meaning. It was a chilling sight. "The one you call 'Venser' serves as our voice in this plane," the Phyrexians said. "He has been perfected in line of our unified vision. All shall be aligned under the banner of Phyrexia. From this moment forward, you too shall serve us." "I would rather die." "You cannot serve us if you are dead. You cannot help us bring peace if you our dead. Submit to us and you shall not feel pain." Teferi set his jaw. He knew this battle would be short and full of anguish. But he was buying Freyalise time. He was buying Karn time. He knew others would come, to stand against a new invasion, a re-ignition of old threats to Dominaria. But other ignitions would take place. That much, now, he could see. They were lights of hope in the darkness of his future. "Come on," Teferi said to the Phyrexian marionette made of his old friend. "Show me this 'new order' of yours. And I will show you how Dominaria will respond." The 'perfected' Venser hadn't stopped smiling. "There is no response to Phyrexia save submission. And you will submit just as Dominaria will submit. All shall be Phyrexian. All shall be beautiful. All shall be peace. That is the future you cannot see. Come; let us make you a part of it." Mondays are for making or talking about art.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Friday, December 30, 2016

500 Words on 2016

500 Words on 2016 — Blue Ink Alchemy

Let me say this first: the marking of days, months, and years is no more or less arbitrary than marking distance. The road is the road, and the milestones along it do not change it; it is how we measure the distance we've covered in our journey, and what lays ahead for us. How we mark time is very similar, save for the fact that we mere mortals have no clue as to how far we have to go. But in terms of where we've been, it helps to have a scale along which we can track our changes, our low points, and our triumphs. So it is with the year a good number of us call "2016". During this time we've marked, there's been so much loss, so much hardship, so much disappointment. I've dealt with this on a deeply personal level, as well as the general one. It takes time to process grief, and to transition from reflection to actualization, especially in a society that is focused more on monetary profit and material gain than personal growth or societal advancement. The expectation is that we will live to work, rather than working to live, and that we will kowtow to the whims of others, instead of taking care of our Selves. The importance of owning our mistakes & drawbacks, and using negative events & energy as fuel for moving forward, has been brought home to me in a very real, visceral way in the past year. I've heard years like this one past referred to as 'burning years'. As a Fire sign and a person feeling a draw towards the transformative potential of matter as well as energy, I've taken this interpretation to heart. When a final metaphorical nail was driven into a past to which I was clinging, I made the conscious decision that this time, this time, I would not succumb to my head weasels and become drawn into a miasma of despair from which I might not be able to save myself. I did not lay in my coffin to decompose. I set that motherfucker on fire. The inferno of the past is lighting the way to the future. It's a path I'm walking as confidently and consciously as I can. I'm so much more aware of my surroundings, those around me, the impact I have on people. I'm regaining things I've lost and sowing seeds for success in soil I'd let gone to seed. And I wouldn't be capable if I hadn't had so much twisted and broken that I had to burn away. Between that, and the character of those around me being truly revealed, in a way, I'm grateful for all that happened. I look to the luminary examples of the musicians, actors, and thinkers we lost. I admonish myself to be and do as well as they would expect, to live up to their example, and perhaps, to exceed them. I'm curious to see what I will do, and what fruit will bear, in 2017. On Fridays I write 500 words.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

A World Without Leia

A World Without Leia — Blue Ink Alchemy

So much loss has happened since the last time we celebrated a new year. So many luminaries have left us behind. But if we're personifying the year of 2016, we can envision it holding back at least one more devastating punch to the emotional gut. And this one... this one hurts. It hurts a lot. Carrie Fisher has died. Putting my thoughts on this tragedy together is proving difficult. Star Wars has had a profound impact on my life. It is one of the first science fiction universes to which I was introduced, and many of its elements did and do resonate with me on a fundamental level. Princess Leia was a huge part of that from the very start. Back when the episode subtitled "A New Hope" was merely called "Star Wars," the tall, white-robed, cinnabun-haired diplomat was a strong, defiant, patient, and even deadly character. She was, in a word, iconic. Time did not dilute this image. While many may point to her character being forced into a position that could potentially be disempowering and humiliating, Leia rose up against her would-be master, and (bolding for emphasis here) strangled the lecherous slug to death with the very chain he was using to keep her prisoner. I cheered, as a child, when I saw this. And while, yes, as I grew there was physical appeal in the salacious nature of the outfit, I still felt more engaged and delighted by what she did while wearing it than simply seeing it on her. Leia was never an object. She was a person. And she remains so today. Carrie Fisher managed to finish filming Leia's scenes for Episode VIII before she left us, so we'll be seeing her again later next year. But I am not going to let people forget that Leia is not her only legacy. Princess Leia fought Imperial forces bent on subjugating the galaxy. Carrie Fisher fought forces within her own mind bent on controlling who she was and who she could be. Bipolar disorder is an absolutely insidious and terrifying disease. The emotional swings and disruption to life that go along with them are devastating. It can lead to incongruous behavior. Outside observers can even attribute other disorders and explanations to what they witness during serious manic or hypomanic episodes, or disregard major depressive episodes as a form of manipulative overacting. And, in general, a huge stigma exists regarding even discussing a condition like bipolar disorder, and securing effective and proven treatment is incredibly difficult. When she wasn't struggling against her inner conflict, she was offering help and hope to those fighting their own. Many people see what occurs during mixed states, rapid cycles, and the extremes of the moods involved as a battleground. And navigating the trenches of said battleground is something that many people find intimidating, if not impossible. But someone who has been in those trenches, trying to navigate a minefield of awful moments and terrible choices and digging foxholes to try and escape the horrors of it all, can relate to the struggle. And Carrie Fisher did her best to do what she could for others. Just before she died, she wrote this letter to a fellow victim of the disorder.
"We have been given a challenging illness, and there is no other option than to meet those challenges," she wrote. "Think of it as an opportunity to be heroic – not "I survived living in Mosul during an attack" heroic, but an emotional survival. An opportunity to be a good example to others who might share our disorder. That's why it's important to find a community — however small — of other bipolar people to share experiences and find comfort in the similarities." In light of her death, the way she closes the letter will give you chills: "Move through those feelings and meet me on the other side. As your bipolar sister, I'll be watching."
I feel that, for those of us left and still dealing with these challenges, our duty is to take up that vigil. And, for my part, we may not always be on the stable side of things. But we can always make it back there. It's a hard road. A long one. And it's often fraught with obstacles that we inadvertently placed in our own way. Human beings are very good at creating problems for themselves to overcome. We generate conflict on flimsy pretenses to justify our own agendas. We demonize those we see as 'other' in order to lionize ourselves and make ourselves the heroes in some sort of dichotomous, simplistic narrative. We've all done it. Some of us might even do it again. We owe Carrie Fisher better than that. I for one choose to keep talking about what happens in my head and my heart. I for one choose to keep telling my story, even the parts that people don't want to hear. I for one will stand up for those too weak or scared or confused to stand on their own, and tell them — and you — that we are not alone. I for one choose to believe that light can prevail over darkness, and that whatever it is, the Force is strong with us. We'll miss you, Carrie. Your fight is over. We'll take it from here. As Princess Leia put it, "somebody has to save our skins!" Wednesdays are for discussing the whys and wherefores of our world.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Friday, December 23, 2016

500 Words on Family

500 Words on Family — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm with my family for the holidays. It's been a refreshing and recharging trip so far, mostly just me and my partner in my childhood home with my parents occasionally checking in with us at they go about their daily lives, preparing for the big events of Christmas. My sister and her family descend upon the house this afternoon, bringing a whirlwind of excited activity, barely retrained delight, exuberant emotion, and probably a tantrum or two. That's life. That's my family. I know not everybody has a family like mine. I know the experience of gathering around the tree on Christmas morning in matching pajamas and watching children tear away bright paper from new toys isn't something everyone gets. A lot of people have families who aren't this in touch, who don't have this connection. Some people barely talk to their families at all. Others wish they didn't have parents. Still others wish their parents were still with us. For me, I wish this house was big enough for me to invite everyone who may be alone or who might feel isolated this year, and have them join in this atmosphere, if they'd feel comfortable doing so. I long ago swore that I would do two things when it comes to my family: I would not take their love, generosity, or honesty for granted, and I would do my utmost to share the gifts they continue to give me with those around me. Considering how my family continues to support me, I think I've got that first part pretty much nailed. As for the other... let's just say there are times in my past when I wish I'd been better at listening, being receptive, and taking a moment to pause and reflect before choosing my response, rather than simply reacting. At my last family reunion, I saw a lot of small humans reacting rather than responding. Upon reflection, it seems that there are some folks who never really grew out of that impulse. It took me quite a while to get to a point where I can do that semi-regularly, and I still have my share of mistakes and knee-jerk reactions. Hell, at times I wonder if a tweet I send out or a blog entry I post is too much, or goes too far, or needed to be worded better, if sent at all. Family, at least my family, understands that. They're good at holding space for me. They see me and all I could be, rather than what I've failed to be. They're patient with me, as the parents in my family I've seen are patient with their children. I've been forced to grow up a lot in the past year. When the people I'd chose to be part of my family turned on me, I had to grow up even more. And my blood family was there for me, behind me and loving me, every step of the way. Everybody deserves this kind of family and love. On Fridays I write 500 words.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Thursday, December 22, 2016

The Internet's Not Just For Porn

The Internet's Not Just For Porn — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy andrebarcinski.blogfolha.uol.com.br
I've spun up a new project, since I'm still stymied in my attempt to write a YA fantasy novel with a female protagonist that doesn't entirely suck. I'm something of a perfectionist, to the point that I am extremely hard on myself when I do not live up to my own standards. I need more test readers but am hesitant to have my worst fears confirmed: that I am too male and out-of-touch to get this important job done. So I'm keeping that on the shelf while I try my hand at something new, different, and downright scary, but in a different way. To do the research I need to complete this new work, I turn to the Internet. And getting lost down rabbit holes of character analyses and Star Trek essays, I was struck with a realization. Considering what it is and can become, it's easy to forget what the Internet was intended to be in the first place, and still is if you use it a certain way. From it's inception, the Internet's purpose is a repository of data and knowledge. Try as you might, you can't burn down the Internet. At this point, the data is so wide-spread, so diverse, and so cataloged that to destroy it and the knowledge it contains is a fool's errand. You can't accidentally touch of a conflagration in the Rare Webpages Section; there will be no Library of Alexandria repeat here. And thank the stars for that — so much knowledge was lost in that time, and in some circles, we're still reeling from the losses. (Personal aside: so much of the Work I am doing away from screens and data streams may remain unfinished because there is simply a lack of resources upon which I can rely.) Moreso than it was when I first encountered it, the Internet is extensively cataloged and searchable. There are multiple engines to do so — perhaps foolishly, I still rely upon Google to do my fetching, among other things. A few cursory searches brought me a plethora of resources for my projects, old and new, and also linked me to undiscovered essays, new treatises, and authors whose voices resonate with my own, individuals with whom I'd love to sit down, away from the constant barrage of distractions, and just have an eye-to-eye chat about our art, the world, and what's to come. In the meantime, I follow them on social media, and hope they'll follow me back. This turns my thoughts to social media, and how the Internet becomes sorely abused. Instead of using it for data and enlightenment, so many individuals choose to use the Internet as sounding boards, echo chambers, and podiums to espouse their personal points of view as if they're gospel. I've been guilty of this, myself — on more than one occasion, I've pontificated on our political climate from my perspective and bemoaned the nature of my illness. I've shown how hard I am on myself, and how I've abused myself; this in turn has given others implicit permission to use and abuse me. Beyond my personal traumatic experiences, so many people use the Internet as forums to spew bile and hatred upon those just struggling to survive. They twist and mold the world as they see it to shove their supposed superiority and righteous indignation into the faces of the populace, like thunderbolts raining down from Olympus. It sickens me to see so much arrogant presumption, so much faux righteousness, so many smug miscarriages of justice. I just want to grab people by their collective collars, shake them until their eyes wobble (not to be violent but to get their damn attention), and say "NO, YOU ARE BEING MYOPIC, YOU DO NOT GET TO PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT THE FACTS ARE." It's people who shit on fundamentalists who pick and choose parts of holy writ that support their viewpoints, then turn around and pick and choose the narratives that support their viewpoints, that truly piss me off. The truth is a complex, multi-faceted thing. Like perfection, it is something deeply desired, but we can only chase after the truth; catching it is a monumental task. We have to be honest with ourselves and the role we play in constructing our narratives, and imagine the other perspectives that confirm that narrative, or run counter to it. Sticking to the facts is difficult when the facts may reveal parts of ourselves that we don't like — our human frailties, our capacity for making bad decisions, our actions that hurt one another. When we see one another as people with hearts and minds, rather than things made of straw and bad wiring, it becomes much harder to push one another out of the light and into the shadows, to shove those who deserve love, support, and trust into an oubliette to the cheers of enablers and potential lovers. The Internet can be the biggest enabler of all. For months I stayed away from the Internet, both loathing what people used it to do to me and fearing what I might say or do in response. But allowing fear and self-loathing to keep me in the dark was not only unhealthy for my own sake but succumbing to the will of the zeitgeist, kowtowing to people who pretend to be rebels but represent a new establishment. We only tolerate what we feel we deserve; we serve as screens for others to project upon us only as long as we allow it. And I finally got to a place where I dropped the curtain on the screen I was (and perhaps still am) and decided it was past time to re-define my Persona and unearth my true Self. And the Internet helped me do that. The Internet is, at once, a potent tool and a potentially deadly weapon. It's all in how one chooses to use it. How will you use the Internet today? How will you leverage its articles, the discussions that take place, your presence and impact in social media? Will you build one another up, to stand against those who refuse to do the same? Or will you tear one another down so you can push your Persona to new heights? The power to both help and harm is at your very fingertips. I hope you choose wisely. Thursdays are for talking tech. (N.B. I was in flight on Tuesday so I'm telling a bit of my story, here, in case you couldn't tell.)
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, December 19, 2016

The Kerrigan Question

The Kerrigan Question — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Queen Bitch of the Universe, Courtesy Blizzard Entertainment
"Girls don't belong in games/movies!" This is the cry of "men's rights activists" who point to things like Rogue One and female gamers & game journalists (Susan Arendt, IRL Jasmine, etc). "What about Sarah Kerrigan?" I suspect I'd mostly get blank stares. Maybe a bit of drool. Here's the background: Sarah Kerrigan is a major character in StarCraft and its sequel. StarCraft is a massively popular real-time strategy game that is played professionally as a multi-player contest & sport. Its single-player campaigns, while maybe not having the best writing, is still full of affecting moments — the rise of Arcturus Mengsk, the sacrifice of Tassadar, etc — but I would argue that the growth and arc of Kerrigan's story is the beating heart of the narrative, though I admittedly haven't played the last chapter, Legacy of the Void, yet. It's a bit beyond my means at present. I'm going to run down Kerrigan's story for those of you who don't know, and proceed to my point after. [spoiler] StarCraft depicts a large-scale conflict between three races: the Terrans (that's us), the psionic and aloof Protoss, and the swarming, ever-evolving Zerg. Sarah Kerrigan is a Terran operative, a "Ghost" (read: psychic sniper assassin) who joins you early in the Terran campaign alongside rough'n'tumble backwater space cowboy Jim Raynor. They don't get along at first — Jimmy's initial thoughts are about how hot Kerrigan is, and she immediately reacts with revulsion and rightly scolds Raynor for a lack of professionalism. But, through the course of fighting for survival as the Protoss and Zerg clash with the Terrans in the middle, they grow to admire, respect, and appreciate one another. Their partnership, both professional and romantic, was short-lived. In a callous act of sacrificing his resources for convenience and advancement, master manipulator and all-around bastard Arcturus Mengsk left Kerrigan to die as her position was overrun by the Zerg forces Mengsk himself had attracted to a Terran world to better secure his political position. Disgusted, Raynor left Mengsk's service, and looked for Kerrigan, only for her to emerge some time later as a new weapon in the Zerg's arsenal, the fearsome and deadly 'Queen of Blades'. Empowered by Zerg evolutionary strains and determined to unlock her own full potential, Kerrigan proceeded to align both her former Terran comrades and several Protoss factions against the Zerg Overmind who'd had a hand (or, rather, tentacle) in creating her. Her plan succeeded, and she thanked her erstwhile allies by betraying them. Some of these allies were Protoss warriors Jim had come to trust as friends; when they were killed, he swore he'd avenge their deaths, and be the one to kill Sarah. Laughing off the threat, Kerrigan wiped the floor with what was left of the Terran forces and retreated to her own corner of the sector. After the so-called Brood War that'd seen Kerrigan triumphant, she began to hear whispers of impending doom. To arm herself and her Swarm to face it, she invaded Terran space to find more powerful weapons. Raynor set off to oppose the Zerg invasion, seemingly still driven by his vendetta and supported by an old friend from his previous life. Things got complicated when a Protoss warrior, one of the few Raynor knew from the Brood War who hadn't been killed, told him that Kerrigan needed to live to fight what was coming. The Terrans used the very weapon Kerrigan had sought to claim to rob her of her Zerg enhancements and leave her vulnerable. Conflicted, Raynor decided to save Kerrigan's life at this moment, choosing to give her a chance for redemption rather than letting his friend shoot her. Kerrigan was held for experimentation, with Raynor keeping an eye on her, and her memories as both Mengsk's assassin and the Queen of Blades haunted her and made her question her morals and sanity. While previously Kerrigan's ambitions had been aimed towards conquest and victory for her Swarm, her restored humanity narrowed her focus to revenge on Mengsk. The facility were she was being held was attacked by Mengsk's forces, and in their escape, Kerrigan and Raynor were separated. While Kerrigan was able to escape, Raynor was reported to be killed, much to Mengsk's delight. Consumed by her need for revenge, Kerrigan turns to the Zerg, returning to the Swarm to regain her former power. Kerrigan returns to the homeworld of the Zerg and seeks her own path to evolve along instead of having it imposed upon her. In doing so, she comes to understand the Zerg on a far more fundamental level, and in doing so, not only guides it to great success, but forges it into a far more powerful force than it was before. With a renewed Swarm and her powers and memory finally under her control, Kerrigan tears across the sector towards Mengsk. Along the way, she finds Raynor alive, but her rebirth as the new Queen of Blades puts an incredible chasm between them; Jim can't let go of everything she did as the Queen of Blades, and as much as she wants to repair that breach, since she was not the creature she was before, Jim can't bring himself to meet her halfway. He can't kill her, either, but joins her to kill Mengsk. Having joined forces, Mengsk's defenses folded under the assault of Raynor and Kerrigan. They work together to bring down the tyrant, Kerrigan saying Mengsk had "made [them] all into monsters" before blowing him up Scanners-style. With their nemesis dead, Kerrigan leaves to turn her attention back to the doom that had brought her back in the first place, leaving a conflicted and emotional Raynor in her wake, looking up at where the woman he loved (and perhaps still does) disappears. This isn't the end of the story, but it's all I know, since I'm avoiding spoilers for Legacy of the Void. [/spoiler] The essence of Kerrigan's story, to me, is that after getting betrayed and turned into something awful, she took control of her own destiny. She seized control of a massive, powerful alien force, just because she could. When she caught wind of something bigger coming to destroy everything, she set out to stand up to it, no matter what it cost. And after everything that happened to her, she decided to recreate her power on her own terms in order to either rescue a dude important to her or avenge herself on the bastard who'd betrayed her in the first place. To me, that speaks of self-actualization, independence, and empowerment. I can see some counterpoints to this perspective, but the fact remains that she is a major character who becomes a protagonist in a major sci-fi gaming franchise, and yet, insecure man-kids haven't brought her up as an example of something that doesn't belong in their games. So is it because she's not as prominent as the leads in Rogue One or The Force Awakens, or is it because they felt some sort of satisfaction in what happened to her when she was disempowered? I'm not sure; it's a headspace I have a lot of trouble getting into. I'm just going to toss this out for potential discussion. What do you think of Sarah Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades, as a character? Is she a positive or negative influence on female empowerment in science fiction? And does Legacy of the Void go on sale regularly, so I can finish the story and also get some awesome, shiny Protoss action? Let me know! Mondays are for making & talking about art.
Blue Ink Alchemy

The Kerrigan Question

The Kerrigan Question — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Queen Bitch of the Universe, Courtesy Blizzard Entertainment
"Girls don't belong in games/movies!" This is the cry of "men's rights activists" who point to things like Rogue One and female gamers & game journalists (Susan Arendt, IRL Jasmine, etc). "What about Sarah Kerrigan?" I suspect I'd mostly get blank stares. Maybe a bit of drool. Here's the background: Sarah Kerrigan is a major character in StarCraft and its sequel. StarCraft is a massively popular real-time strategy game that is played professionally as a multi-player contest & sport. Its single-player campaigns, while maybe not having the best writing, is still full of affecting moments — the rise of Arcturus Mengsk, the sacrifice of Tassadar, etc — but I would argue that the growth and arc of Kerrigan's story is the beating heart of the narrative, though I admittedly haven't played the last chapter, Legacy of the Void, yet. It's a bit beyond my means at present. I'm going to run down Kerrigan's story for those of you who don't know, and proceed to my point after. [spoiler] StarCraft depicts a large-scale conflict between three races: the Terrans (that's us), the psionic and aloof Protoss, and the swarming, ever-evolving Zerg. Sarah Kerrigan is a Terran operative, a "Ghost" (read: psychic sniper assassin) who joins you early in the Terran campaign alongside rough'n'tumble backwater space cowboy Jim Raynor. They don't get along at first — Jimmy's initial thoughts are about how hot Kerrigan is, and she immediately reacts with revulsion and rightly scolds Raynor for a lack of professionalism. But, through the course of fighting for survival as the Protoss and Zerg clash with the Terrans in the middle, they grow to admire, respect, and appreciate one another. Their partnership, both professional and romantic, was short-lived. In a callous act of sacrificing his resources for convenience and advancement, master manipulator and all-around bastard Arcturus Mengsk left Kerrigan to die as her position was overrun by the Zerg forces Mengsk himself had attracted to a Terran world to better secure his political position. Disgusted, Raynor left Mengsk's service, and looked for Kerrigan, only for her to emerge some time later as a new weapon in the Zerg's arsenal, the fearsome and deadly 'Queen of Blades'. Empowered by Zerg evolutionary strains and determined to unlock her own full potential, Kerrigan proceeded to align both her former Terran comrades and several Protoss factions against the Zerg Overmind who'd had a hand (or, rather, tentacle) in creating her. Her plan succeeded, and she thanked her erstwhile allies by betraying them. Some of these allies were Protoss warriors Jim had come to trust as friends; when they were killed, he swore he'd avenge their deaths, and be the one to kill Sarah. Laughing off the threat, Kerrigan wiped the floor with what was left of the Terran forces and retreated to her own corner of the sector. After the so-called Brood War that'd seen Kerrigan triumphant, she began to hear whispers of impending doom. To arm herself and her Swarm to face it, she invaded Terran space to find more powerful weapons. Raynor set off to oppose the Zerg invasion, seemingly still driven by his vendetta and supported by an old friend from his previous life. Things got complicated when a Protoss warrior, one of the few Raynor knew from the Brood War who hadn't been killed, told him that Kerrigan needed to live to fight what was coming. The Terrans used the very weapon Kerrigan had sought to claim to rob her of her Zerg enhancements and leave her vulnerable. Conflicted, Raynor decided to save Kerrigan's life at this moment, choosing to give her a chance for redemption rather than letting his friend shoot her. Kerrigan was held for experimentation, with Raynor keeping an eye on her, and her memories as both Mengsk's assassin and the Queen of Blades haunted her and made her question her morals and sanity. While previously Kerrigan's ambitions had been aimed towards conquest and victory for her Swarm, her restored humanity narrowed her focus to revenge on Mengsk. The facility were she was being held was attacked by Mengsk's forces, and in their escape, Kerrigan and Raynor were separated. While Kerrigan was able to escape, Raynor was reported to be killed, much to Mengsk's delight. Consumed by her need for revenge, Kerrigan turns to the Zerg, returning to the Swarm to regain her former power. Kerrigan returns to the homeworld of the Zerg and seeks her own path to evolve along instead of having it imposed upon her. In doing so, she comes to understand the Zerg on a far more fundamental level, and in doing so, not only guides it to great success, but forges it into a far more powerful force than it was before. With a renewed Swarm and her powers and memory finally under her control, Kerrigan tears across the sector towards Mengsk. Along the way, she finds Raynor alive, but her rebirth as the new Queen of Blades puts an incredible chasm between them; Jim can't let go of everything she did as the Queen of Blades, and as much as she wants to repair that breach, since she was not the creature she was before, Jim can't bring himself to meet her halfway. He can't kill her, either, but joins her to kill Mengsk. Having joined forces, Mengsk's defenses folded under the assault of Raynor and Kerrigan. They work together to bring down the tyrant, Kerrigan saying Mengsk had "made [them] all into monsters" before blowing him up Scanners-style. With their nemesis dead, Kerrigan leaves to turn her attention back to the doom that had brought her back in the first place, leaving a conflicted and emotional Raynor in her wake, looking up at where the woman he loved (and perhaps still does) disappears. This isn't the end of the story, but it's all I know, since I'm avoiding spoilers for Legacy of the Void. [/spoiler] The essence of Kerrigan's story, to me, is that after getting betrayed and turned into something awful, she took control of her own destiny. She seized control of a massive, powerful alien force, just because she could. When she caught wind of something bigger coming to destroy everything, she set out to stand up to it, no matter what it cost. And after everything that happened to her, she decided to recreate her power on her own terms in order to either rescue a dude important to her or avenge herself on the bastard who'd betrayed her in the first place. To me, that speaks of self-actualization, independence, and empowerment. I can see some counterpoints to this perspective, but the fact remains that she is a major character who becomes a protagonist in a major sci-fi gaming franchise, and yet, insecure man-kids haven't brought her up as an example of something that doesn't belong in their games. So is it because she's not as prominent as the leads in Rogue One or The Force Awakens, or is it because they felt some sort of satisfaction in what happened to her when she was disempowered? I'm not sure; it's a headspace I have a lot of trouble getting into. I'm just going to toss this out for potential discussion. What do you think of Sarah Kerrigan, the Queen of Blades, as a character? Is she a positive or negative influence on female empowerment in science fiction? And does Legacy of the Void go on sale regularly, so I can finish the story and also get some awesome, shiny Protoss action? Let me know! Mondays are for making & talking about art.
Blue Ink Alchemy