Friday, October 6, 2017

500 Words on the Mirror

500 Words on the Mirror — Blue Ink Alchemy

It can be difficult to recognize the face that looks back at me in the mirror. Especially since I've grown my hair out and started styling my facial hair in certain ways. But the eyes are still there, the eyes I've had since I was a child. They've seen a lot, perhaps more than they should have. I see them in the mirror, these mechanisms through which I see the world, and try to process who's looking back at me. Is this a person worth fighting for? Movies with Mikey's "Creed" episode draws attention to a mirror moment, where the protagonist is told by his coach (Rocky Balboa, in this case) "that, right there, is your toughest opponent." A somewhat unspoken agreement — a 'creed', if you will — between fighters is discussed. It's simple: "I fight, you fight." If you step into the ring, so will I, and we'll each give our all to prove ourselves to ourselves and to one another. (Seriously, if you're not watching Movies with Mikey, do yourself a favor and check it out.) I've started repeating that creed to myself when I see myself in the mirror. "I fight. You fight." Who or what am I fighting, though? Is it that other person, the one in the mirror? Yes and no. In the past, that person in the mirror has resembled someone else. Someone I don't recognize. Someone who had their image altered or even defined by other people. People who took advantage of me. People who devalued and discarded me. People who cast me in a role that I neither auditioned nor asked for. People who saw my weaknesses, exploited them, and spoke of me as if those weaknesses were strengths I'd cultivated for nefarious purposes. First of all, those people are fucking monsters. Moreover, their lies gave fuel to the monsters in my head that tell me I'm better off dead. That's what I'm fighting. Those voices, those monsters, those irritating head weasels. You can't see them, though. And it's very, very hard to fight what you can't see. Ask anybody who has a chronic pain disorder or a mental illness. Ask about their experiences with doctors, with society. You'll see how hard it is to fight the unseen. What we can see, though, is the person in the mirror. "I fight. You fight." The final trap in this is the one in which we fight against ourselves, not with ourselves. The difference is that in the former case, we make ourselves an antagonist, a foe to be conquered. In the latter, we become our greatest ally, and whatever the invisible or salient threat might be is one that both entities fight together. You can see what was, or you can see what could be. When you see the image of yourself in the mirror, it's entirely yours. The you in the mirror is a you that needs belief. You can fight it, or you can fight for it. "I fight. You fight." On Fridays I write 500 words.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, October 2, 2017

Songs of Cornell: Just Getting Started

Songs of Cornell: Just Getting Started — Blue Ink Alchemy

There really wasn't anything Cornell Starblossom liked more than a lively tavern at night. Night was when everybody shook of the day's responsibilities, relaxed, and loosened their laces, especially their purse strings. The half-elf was adept enough with bandore and thelarr to maintain a decent enough lifestyle with just a few hours of song every night. What really got him attention — and tips — was his voice. Unlike the instrumental skills, honed by years of study at the College of Fochlucan, he'd been born with a melodious voice with good range and solid timbre. He'd trained that too, to be sure. From participating in hymns to Sune with his mother, to literally singing for his supper all up and down the Sword Coast, he'd built the stamina, clarity, and expressiveness to handle a night's worth of song, much to the delight of patrons and approval of tavern owners. He sang songs of pure love, loves lost and regained, learning to love one's own self. He sang ballads of heroes long gone and the battles of mighty nations. He sang of dragons, dire portents, and powerful magic. Most of all, he sang to the individuals in the tavern, rubbing elbows with men and sitting beside ladies, all the while keeping a fine hat in view for the depositing of coin. It was getting late at the Clover Wall Roadhouse when Cornell wrapped up his encore. He felt tired, but satisfied. After recent ordeals, he was glad to have time to simply ply his trade and get to know the locals, especially those in high standing. The blacksmith in particular had been of interest to him, in terms of acquiring better means of protecting himself. Having done that, he resolved to spend the next tenday involved in nothing but good song, good food, and pleasurable company. He was thinking about the feisty redhead who'd invited him to her chambers in a few hours as he counted the night's coin. Just enough for his upscale rooms and meals to last him until tomorrow night. He leaned back with a smile. He had no taxes to pay, no lands to manage, no manor to worry over. Just him, his music, and the road. It was freedom, and he valued it highly. "Oi. Knife-ears." He blinked, slowly, and looked up at the source of the voice. It was a burly, smelly human, beefy hands in fists. A thinner, weasel-faced human stood behind the first, sneering at Cornell. "Gentlemen." Cornell's voice came out in his easy drawl, an affect picked up from his youth in Daggerford and time on the road. "Got some feedback on th' set? I'm always lookin' t' improve." "We bet good money on you in the arena, flower-muncher. We want it back." Ah. So these two were from the Redplumes. Or, at least, had supported the Redplumes in their assault and kidnapping of innocents along the road. Especially non-humans. Cornell's smile faded just a touch, remembering the roar of the crowd, the frothing of the quipper-infested waters... "Ain't my fault you bet on th' wrong odds." He paused. "Were they good odds that we were gonna bite it? I shoulda placed a bet on us, myself. Might've been able to help you kind gents." The beefy one slammed his fist into the table. "We will have coin, or we will have blood!" "Oi." This was the barkeep, wiping down his bar, looking up from tending to his last few customers. "Keep it down or get out. No fighting in my place." Cornell gave the barkeep a nod and a smile, and got to his feet. "You heard th' man, gentlemen. Care t' step outside?" The two humans shared a vicious grin and moved to the door. Cornell handed the barkeep his coin — "for my rooms and board 'til tomorrow night" — and followed, running his fingers over the feather in his hat before putting it on his head. He thought about the rapier hanging from the left side of his belt, and the new crossbow on the right. It was his bandore that he hefted onto his left shoulder, however. As he walked to the door, he did a quick check of the tuning of the strings, plucking one or two to get the notes just right. As soon as they were outside, he saw Weasel-face pulling out a pair of crossbows not unlike Cornell's new acquisition: built for a single hand, quick to reload, deadly with good aim. Ham-fist's weapon of choice was a hammer with a long haft and a heavy-looking head. They grinned. Ham-fist opened his mouth to speak. Cornell looked squarely at Weasel-face and gave the bandore a quick riff.
this may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to
The discordant melody and minor chord made Weasel-face's eyes go wide. Screaming in panic, the man dropped his crossbows to clutch his head in pain, and turned to run as fast as he could. Ham-fist whirled to yell an imprecation, and that's when Cornell drew his crossbow, aimed, and shot the human in the back of the thigh. Howling, Ham-fist went down. Cornell walked over, hanging the crossbow from his belt, and drawing his rapier. He placed the tip of the blade under Ham-fist's chin, and lifted the human's face towards his. "I'm no killer, nor am I thief," he said, his voice grave and even. "But I am a Harper agent." Cornell lowered his instrument to the ground gently and opened the left side of his jacket, showing the badge he wore underneath. "An' you are a threat t' the common folk, or at least those who ain't like you." He put a little pressure on the rapier, a tiny bead of blood appearing on the man's white skin. "I suggest you grab your friend an' leave. Don't let me see you here again. Remember: we're watching you, racist." Ham-fist nodded, or at least did so as well as he could with a rapier at his throat. Cornell smiled, stepping back, and sheathing his weapon. Ham-fist stumbled to his feet and jogged after Weasel-face. Cornell took a deep breath, and let it out again. While he had no taxes or land, he did have his responsibilities. It was the Harpers who had sponsored his entry into Fochlucan, kept his mother safe, and appraised his father, an elf wizard and adventurer in his own right, of Cornell's progress. And there was the whole empathy-for-the-common-folk thing. Growing up half-elven wasn't easy, especially in areas in the North of the Sword Coast mostly dominated by mainline humans. He could empathize with so many of them. It was part of the reason why stories of the Harpers had always appealed to him, and why he now wore their emblem. He adjusted his hat and headed back for the Roadhouse, bandore on his shoulder. The night, much like his journey across Faerûn in search of story, song, and worthy causes, was just getting started. Mondays are for making art. Dungeons & Dragons copyright Wizards of the Coast.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Songs of Cornell: Just Getting Started

Songs of Cornell: Just Getting Started — Blue Ink Alchemy

There really wasn't anything Cornell Starblossom liked more than a lively tavern at night. Night was when everybody shook of the day's responsibilities, relaxed, and loosened their laces, especially their purse strings. The half-elf was adept enough with bandore and thelarr to maintain a decent enough lifestyle with just a few hours of song every night. What really got him attention — and tips — was his voice. Unlike the instrumental skills, honed by years of study at the College of Fochlucan, he'd been born with a melodious voice with good range and solid timbre. He'd trained that too, to be sure. From participating in hymns to Sune with his mother, to literally singing for his supper all up and down the Sword Coast, he'd built the stamina, clarity, and expressiveness to handle a night's worth of song, much to the delight of patrons and approval of tavern owners. He sang songs of pure love, loves lost and regained, learning to love one's own self. He sang ballads of heroes long gone and the battles of mighty nations. He sang of dragons, dire portents, and powerful magic. Most of all, he sang to the individuals in the tavern, rubbing elbows with men and sitting beside ladies, all the while keeping a fine hat in view for the depositing of coin. It was getting late at the Clover Wall Roadhouse when Cornell wrapped up his encore. He felt tired, but satisfied. After recent ordeals, he was glad to have time to simply ply his trade and get to know the locals, especially those in high standing. The blacksmith in particular had been of interest to him, in terms of acquiring better means of protecting himself. Having done that, he resolved to spend the next tenday involved in nothing but good song, good food, and pleasurable company. He was thinking about the feisty redhead who'd invited him to her chambers in a few hours as he counted the night's coin. Just enough for his upscale rooms and meals to last him until tomorrow night. He leaned back with a smile. He had no taxes to pay, no lands to manage, no manor to worry over. Just him, his music, and the road. It was freedom, and he valued it highly. "Oi. Knife-ears." He blinked, slowly, and looked up at the source of the voice. It was a burly, smelly human, beefy hands in fists. A thinner, weasel-faced human stood behind the first, sneering at Cornell. "Gentlemen." Cornell's voice came out in his easy drawl, an affect picked up from his youth in Daggerford and time on the road. "Got some feedback on th' set? I'm always lookin' t' improve." "We bet good money on you in the arena, flower-muncher. We want it back." Ah. So these two were from the Redplumes. Or, at least, had supported the Redplumes in their assault and kidnapping of innocents along the road. Especially non-humans. Cornell's smile faded just a touch, remembering the roar of the crowd, the frothing of the quipper-infested waters... "Ain't my fault you bet on th' wrong odds." He paused. "Were they good odds that we were gonna bite it? I shoulda placed a bet on us, myself. Might've been able to help you kind gents." The beefy one slammed his fist into the table. "We will have coin, or we will have blood!" "Oi." This was the barkeep, wiping down his bar, looking up from tending to his last few customers. "Keep it down or get out. No fighting in my place." Cornell gave the barkeep a nod and a smile, and got to his feet. "You heard th' man, gentlemen. Care t' step outside?" The two humans shared a vicious grin and moved to the door. Cornell handed the barkeep his coin — "for my rooms and board 'til tomorrow night" — and followed, running his fingers over the feather in his hat before putting it on his head. He thought about the rapier hanging from the left side of his belt, and the new crossbow on the right. It was his bandore that he hefted onto his left shoulder, however. As he walked to the door, he did a quick check of the tuning of the strings, plucking one or two to get the notes just right. As soon as they were outside, he saw Weasel-face pulling out a pair of crossbows not unlike Cornell's new acquisition: built for a single hand, quick to reload, deadly with good aim. Ham-fist's weapon of choice was a hammer with a long haft and a heavy-looking head. They grinned. Ham-fist opened his mouth to speak. Cornell looked squarely at Weasel-face and gave the bandore a quick riff.
this may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to
The discordant melody and minor chord made Weasel-face's eyes go wide. Screaming in panic, the man dropped his crossbows to clutch his head in pain, and turned to run as fast as he could. Ham-fist whirled to yell and imprecation, and that's when Cornell drew his crossbow, aimed, and shot the human in the back of the thigh. Howling, Ham-fist went down. Cornell walked over, hanging the crossbow from his belt, and drawing his rapier. He placed the tip of the blade under Ham-fist's chin, and lifted the human's face towards his. "I'm no killer, nor am I thief," he said, his voice grave and even. "But I am a Harper agent." Cornell lowered his instrument to the ground gently and opened the left side of his jacket, showing the badge he wore underneath. "An' you are a threat t' the common folk, or at least those who ain't like you." He put a little pressure on the rapier, a tiny bead of blood appearing on the man's white skin. "I suggest you grab your friend an' leave. Don't let me see you here again. Remember: we're watching you, racist." Ham-fist nodded, or at least did so as well as he could with a rapier at his throat. Cornell smiled, stepping back, and sheathing his weapon. Ham-fist stumbled to his feet and jogged after Weasel-face. Cornell took a deep breath, and let it out again. While he had no taxes or land, he did have his responsibilities. It was the Harpers who had sponsored his entry into Fochlucan, kept his mother safe, and appraised his father, an elf wizard and adventurer in his own right, of Cornell's progress. And there was the whole empathy-for-the-common-folk thing. Growing up half-elven wasn't easy, especially in areas in the North of the Sword Coast mostly dominated by mainline humans. He could empathize with so many of them. It was part of the reason why stories of the Harpers had always appealed to him, and why he now wore their emblem. He adjusted his hat and headed back for the Roadhouse, bandore on his shoulder. The night, much like his journey across Faerûn in search of story, song, and worthy causes, was just getting started. Mondays are for making art. Dungeons & Dragons copyright Wizards of the Coast.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, September 25, 2017

Delta-V: Foundational Barter

Delta-V: Foundational Barter — Blue Ink Alchemy

Previously: The year is 3301. Six months after Zachary Hudson was swept into office, Jason Frimantle, a young and unregistered Commander, broke with his father to start his own trading business.
One of these days, I'm going to need to get myself a docking computer. It wasn't that Jason had trouble easing the Wayfarer through the 'mail slot' of a particular station. His more immediate concern when landing was scraping his ship against the guide rails, or bumping up against other ships. It was a reaction based on how the Federation treated incoming or outgoing Commanders — threats of lethal force were commonplace from traffic control. Jason found the attitude of those along this trading route much more agreeable, for the most part. He guided his ship to the landing pad within Lave Station, feeling the reassuring bump of his landing gear against the solid metal. The pad lowered into the hangar, and Jason felt the faint pull of the access corridor interior's 0.2 gravity. One didn't have to worry about a particularly strong step along a corridor putting one into freefall, but handrails were still highly recommended. He moved from his ship into the corridor with a few long yet careful strides, and took hold of the handrail in the corridor. A few minutes later, he was in the Workers trade station, bringing up his manifest to onload some crates of Lavian Brandy. The woman at the front desk looked up as Jason walked in. "Commander Frimantle?" Jason blinked. "Um. Yes?" "Commissioner Parker would like to see you." Most of the dealings Jason had had with the Workers of Lave Liberals had been through a contact that worked directly with the system market. Parker was the overseer of the faction's trade, a subordinate to their leadership; from what Jason had gathered, they were a middle manager who tracked inventory and ship traffic. He wasn't sure why such a person would want to see him, since he was still starting out in terms of being a freelance trader. Regardless, it wouldn't hurt to make new friends, or at least establish new contacts. He thanked the receptionist and found Parker's office. Parker stood in front of a floor-to-ceiling holo display of Lave's market, a tablet in one hand and a stylus in the other. She was an older woman, still in her middle years but definitely showing the signs of working hard on her career. She wore a business-style blazer and knee-length pencil skirt that flattered her figure yet projected an air of professional austerity, backed up by the unadorned blouse that came to her neck. Her reddish-brown hair was drawn back in a conservative bun, but the chopsticks holding it in place were lavishly decorated with flowers and branches that seemed to fly in the face of her steely demeanor. Jason adjusted his jacket, which he'd opened after exiting the Wayfarer, suddenly aware of the fact that both it and his pressure suit were due for a cleaning. His hair was probably mussed, as well, from the last few trade runs being uninterrupted by stopping for anything other than food and sleep. Parker looked up from the tablet in her hand at the motion, looking at Jason over the rims of spectacles that complimented the light brown color of her eyes. "Commander," she said, her voice reminding Jason of a schoolmistress. "Thank you for coming to see me." "Nice to meet you, Commissioner," Jason replied. "What can I do for you?" She turned away from the display to lay her tablet on the desk. Jason noted she was wearing high heels, which couldn't have been easy at lower gravity. They weren't stiletto-style, but still... "I have need of a trader who can take care of a matter of some urgency. Your efficiency in the Zaonce trade route leads me to believe you can accomplish such a task." She turned back to him, regarding him for a long moment. "Do you believe I am correct?" Jason nodded. "Lots of Commanders starting out like this run, ma'am. It's got decent profit margins and there's enough of a gap between deliveries that no markets get too flooded, nor do they dry up. The items are always in demand, be it Lavian brandy or blue milk." "I see you have a head for the greater business picture as well as your own credits. I do believe we can work together." She picked up a different tablet, took a step towards Jason, and handed it to him. "How is your planetary landing experience?" Jason regarded the tablet. It was information and telemetry for a settlement called Abel Prospect, located in the Arque system. "I've been a spacer all of my life. Making planetfall hasn't really been a priority, but I've done it a couple of times. Usually with my father guiding me." Thinking of his father filled Jason with a mix of emotions that weren't entirely pleasant. He tried to keep that out of his voice, but Parker was studying his expression closely. After a moment, she nodded. "Very good. The settlement has indicated a need for medical supplies. There has been a minor epidemic of a rare skin disease. None of the in-system stations have what they need to deal with this, and they want to combat it lest it become a system-wide outbreak." Jason studied the layout of the settlement and the planetary landscape around it. "I don't see any landing pads." "That is the other concern. They lack the facilities to accommodate starships in the usual manner. They also have no means to take in a SRV. So the supplies must be hand-delivered." Jason's brows furrowed. "How's the gravity there?" "0.09 on the surface. They need two tons of specialized medical supplies, and are paying 200% above market price. You will be entitled to 50% of the profits." Jason looked over the figures, and hoped he wasn't suddenly showing signs of his excitement. With that amount of money, he could buy several enhancements for the Wayfarer — a frame-shift drive with longer range, an improved fuel scoop, a more comfortable pilot's seat... Maybe even a new ship, he thought. "I do believe you've got yourself a pilot, Ms. Parker." "Excellent. The sooner you can depart, the better." A short jump or two later, the Wayfarer's planetary approach suite was guiding Jason into a low orbit over the rocky body where Abel Prospect had been established. The gravity of the body was negligible, but he definitely felt the tug of it when his ship dropped out of supercruise. The Wayfarer creaked slightly as he adjusted his approach, unused to flying in any sort of atmosphere or planetary gravity. Granted, Abel Prospect's host body had only the thinnest of gas layers drawn to it during its formation, and a human being would still suffocate in about 15 seconds if they found themselves outside without a pressure suit. As he made his descent, he checked his radar to ensure a good position for the transfer of the goods. Then he looked again. There was another contact on the surface. He rolled to starboard to get a visual look. A Hauler, smaller (and, in Jason's opinion, less elegant) cousin to his own Adder, was parked near Abel Prospect's sole lock. A bad feeling crept into him, tightening his jaw as he sussed out a similar place to put down the Wayfarer. Once he was settled on the surface, Jason activated his p-suit's helmet and seals, and did a check of his equipment — integrated oxygen supply, suit displays, utility & gun belt, and so on. He moved aft, unlocked the crates from their restraints, and opened his hatch before pushing them out towards the lock. As he moved closer, he saw that it was still cycling. Quickly, he tapped a few commands into the control panel. He reset the system, then opened the outer door. Two men were inside, wearing pressure suits, staring in shock at the outer door. Jason gave them a wide grin. "Gentlemen! Delivering medical supplies?" One of them slowly nodded. "Um... yeah." Jason nodded, looking over the crates. "Four tons, it looks like. What's your margin?" "150% market price," said the other. "Undercutting the competition to sell more quantity? Nice." Before he continued, Jason took in the logo on the crates. He blinked, trying to hold down a sudden surge of shock and anger. It was the logo of his father's company. Without warning, he drew his pistol. Like the flight jacket he'd left in the Wayfarer, it had belonged to his grandfather. It was an old-fashioned ballistic weapon, a revolver, designed to fire without issue in near or full vacuum. He shoved its muzzle against the clear faceplate of the closest trader. The other man didn't move. Neither of them seemed armed; if they were, their sidearms were somewhere inside their pressure suits. What was the point of that? "Okay. Before I cycle this lock, you're going to leave it. And your crates. You're going to take off, go back to Eravate, and tell my father that he, and you, and any of his other cronies, are staying on your side of the galaxy. Nod if you understand." The man nodded. Jason reached behind him with his free hand and opened the outer door one more time. "Good. Now get out." They obeyed. Jason slammed the butt of his pistol into the controls to close the door and cycle the lock. He turned to the crates — now six in total — and tried to ignore the little voice telling him that, technically, he'd just committed an act of piracy. But what was his father going to do? Put a bounty on his own son?
To be continued... Elite Dangerous is a registered trademark of Frontier Developments.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Friday, September 22, 2017

500 Words on World-Building

500 Words on World-Building — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm very much looking forward to introducing more people to Dungeons & Dragons. The published materials for that purpose within the Starter Set are quite fine, but even moreso than the content within the books, I appreciate the flexibility of it. It's been a while since I've put together a world into which others will be introducing characters with their own motivations, drives, fears, and goals. I want to flex those muscles again. As much as I like the Forgotten Realms setting, what's the harm in creating what might be considered a parallel world on the Prime Material Plane? Similar, but different in many ways. Same maps, different names. Similar factions, different motivations. A history all its own that resonates with the high points of established materials. If nothing else, it's a great exercise in world-building. Even when set in the modern era on Earth, authors tend to create their own worlds when they set out to tell a new story. Look at Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, Seanan McGuire's October Day, Diane Duane's Young Wizards, Lev Grossman's the Magicians — the list goes on. I know that these are all fantasy examples, but considering this pontification is rooted my D&D ambitions, they're what come to mind for me. I'm sure you can think of your own. Speaking of D&D, there's been quite a bit written about the Starter Set called Lost Mines of Phandelver. For my part, my desire is not just to integrate it into a slightly different world of my own creation, but also deepen and flesh out the characters within the adventure. Even within a D&D campaign, I'm not terribly fond of one-dimensional characters, be they cackling villains or glorified vending machines. These are, for the most part, people; people have thoughts and feelings, they have hopes and dreams, they make mistakes. To me, it's important to convey those things and demonstrate that the protagonist (or in this case, the player character) are not alone in the world in terms of beings with agency and identity. Not long ago, I began running an adventure for some friends at a neighbor's house. Upon a cursory reading, I got a notion for how the local innkeep behaved and what his relationships were like. On the fly, as the players interacted with him, I created the character's partner and began role-playing their interactions in front of the players. It was just a little flavor, a bit of color splashed into the black and white text of the pages in front of me. And it went over incredibly well. I can't overstate the importance of taking just a little time to flesh out parts of your world, whatever you're creating it for and however you're creating it. Tolkien and Martin might at times get carried away with descriptors, but would we care so much about their tales and their many characters without those passages, that depth? Their worlds persist because of the way they were built. Don't you want the same for yours? On Fridays I write 500 words.
Blue Ink Alchemy

500 Words on World-Building

500 Words on World-Building — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm very much looking forward to introducing more people to Dungeons & Dragons. The published materials for that purpose within the Starter Set are quite fine, but even moreso than the content within the books, I appreciate the flexibility of it. It's been a while since I've put together a world into which others will be introducing characters with their own motivations, drives, fears, and goals. I want to flex those muscles again. As much as I like the Forgotten Realms setting, what's the harm in creating what might be considered a parallel world on the Prime Material Plane? Similar, but different in many ways. Same maps, different names. Similar factions, different motivations. A history all its own that resonates with the high points of established materials. If nothing else, it's a great exercise in world-building. Even when set in the modern era on Earth, authors tend to create their own worlds when they set out to tell a new story. Look at Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, Seanan McGuire's October Day, Diane Duane's Young Wizards, Lev Grossman's the Magicians — the list goes on. I know that these are all fantasy examples, but considering this pontification is rooted my D&D ambitions, they're what come to mind for me. I'm sure you can think of your own. Speaking of D&D, there's been quite a bit written about the Starter Set called Lost Mines of Phandelver. For my part, my desire is not just to integrate it into a slightly different world of my own creation, but also deepen and flesh out the characters within the adventure. Even within a D&D campaign, I'm not terribly fond of one-dimensional characters, be they cackling villains or glorified vending machines. These are, for the most part, people; people have thoughts and feelings, they have hopes and dreams, they make mistakes. To me, it's important to convey those things and demonstrate that the protagonist (or in this case, the player character) are not alone in the world in terms of beings with agency and identity. Not long ago, I began running an adventure for some friends at a neighbor's house. Upon a cursory reading, I got a notion for how the local innkeep behaved and what his relationships were like. On the fly, as the players interacted with him, I created the character's partner and began role-playing their interactions in front of the players. It was just a little flavor, a bit of color splashed into the black and white text of the pages in front of me. And it went over incredibly well. I can't overstate the importance of taking just a little time to flesh out parts of your world, whatever you're creating it for and however you're creating it. Tolkien and Martin might at times get carried away with descriptors, but would we care so much about their tales and their many characters without those passages, that depth? Their worlds persist because of the way they were built. Don't you want the same for yours? On Fridays I write 500 words.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

D&D Matters

D&D Matters — Blue Ink Alchemy

I'm really glad I started playing Dungeons & Dragons again. It's taken me the better part of a year to feel comfortable going out-of-doors again. I was walking around like a man with my skin peeled off, and the fresh air and particulates of the outside world stung like a son-of-a-bitch. I had to take that time, in a place of safety and solitude, to reacquaint myself with myself. Take a good long look in the mirror. Start fixing some shit. Get better. Then I started going out to watch soccer matches again, and I made a friend. She noticed my d20 ring, a souvenir of days gone by that has only the meaning I've given it. No other associations, no bad memories. Just a spinning random number generator for rolling skill checks in the real world. We got to talking about D&D. And she mentioned a game she was in on Monday nights. Without knowing what I was doing or why, I jumped at the chance. Then I got nervous. You see, I might have gone a bit too far the other way in correcting myself. I was a little hyper-vigilant. I had trouble trusting my instincts. Here was a smart, lovely, challenging person who saw in me enough value and goodness to invite me into another part of her life, and I was asking myself a bunch of questions — do I have the right reasons for doing this? Am I going to be an invasive presence? Will I get along with everyone? Should I be scared? In order: yes, no, yes, and no. My partner told me so. A few times. I can be a little thick-headed; it's an aspect of myself I've had since I was young. Still, the answers were conveyed to me in love, even if they had to be repeated. I finally quieted the head weasels, drew up my character, and headed downtown. My head was on a bit of a swivel before I got into the Raygun Lounge. I didn't know how my Paladin of Bahamut would go over with these new people. I guess the best way to put it "like gangbusters." He had to leave the party at one point because a fellow party member made, in his opinion, a monumentally bad and immoral decision. So I reintroduced one of my favorite characters, a dark elf necromancer, to the party. Again, he was a big hit. Sure, he was the complete opposite of my paladin in personality and motivation, but therein lies the challenge. And since my life isn't exactly on hardmode, being the sort of white male of education and relative means that often serves as a poster child for the Patriarchy, I tend to game that way. See also my pacifist/stealth run of Deus Ex Human Revolution's Director's Cut that is my current PC gaming 'project'. Long story short: I was worried over nothing. With everything going on, within and without, it's been difficult to fully engage with my writing brain. Certain parts of myself have lain somewhat dormant while getting better, engaging in self-care and self-correction, and generally being an isolationist hermit have dominated my time. Being with others and collaborating in telling a story about people making bad choices has started reawakening my own storytelling synapses. If nothing else, it's underscored my need to shift my career path away from banging out code for a living to making words happen. That's been mostly what I've been looking for when I'm on LinkedIn looking for a new job that has nothing to do with start-ups — I am unsuited for such a life. Perhaps I'm just too old at this point. Anyway. Dungeons & Dragons. The classic role-playing game matters to me because it hits all of the right buttons. It's escapism. It's storytelling. It's interacting with other humans, revealing parts of oneself in a safe environment and bouncing off of one another and the Dungeon Master in delightful and intriguing ways. It's taking chances. It's putting on a performance in the 'theatre of the mind' just because you can. I want to start my own group, and guide people through the bones of a story I construct, and watch them flesh everything out and make it a living, breathing thing that we all enjoy. Storytelling matters. Collaboration matters. People, their dreams, their imaginations, their fears, their potential and ambition and passion — all of that matters. All of that comes together in Dungeons & Dragons. That's why it matters. Tuesdays are for telling my story. Art courtesy Wizards of the Coast
Blue Ink Alchemy