Your Opinion Sucks

Your Opinion Sucks — Blue Ink Alchemy

Most individuals with a modicum of intelligence and self-awareness will tell you the truth, uncomfortable as it might be: Not everything you produce is going to be good. Even if the idea seems immaculate in your imagination, the transition between brain and mouth or fingers can dilute it somewhat. We have to clarify ourselves at times, in order to ensure we're understood, meaning the way we initally articulated ourselves was imperfect. So too are our ideas: the perspective we have on the world around us, the stories we experience and the events of our lives is unique. It's this diversity that makes living with other human beings, at times, a wonderful experience. At other times it's grueling torture because some people don't understand their imperfection. You've seen these people. You've read their comments on forums, YouTube channels and Twitter feeds. Barely coherent, badly misspelled, over-abbreviated and wholly inaccurate ramblings that, when challenged, incite anger and accusations rather than honest debate. I'm painting with a broad brush here, but the sad fact of the matter is that the amount of hatred spewing from the mouths and fingers of the ignorant far outweighs the pontifications of people who actually have something to say and the means with which to say it to a large audience. And when someone does gain a large audience, the arrogant and entitled flock to the outlet in question to make their voices heard, piggyback on success, do their damndest to outshine the reason they showed up in the first place. I'm guilty of this behavior, if I'm honest. I've chimed in on the videos of those sharing their reviews, opinions and news readings not just to support their efforts but in an effort to promote myself and my work. I have to. If I hope to have any success in the mass market when it comes to selling fiction, I have to get used to the idea of selling myself through any means necessary. Now, I don't post on forums or respond to tweets for this purpose alone. I'm not a SEO bot or a web marketer. But I'd be lying if I said I do what I do simply for the enjoyment of it. Even if it is a great deal of fun to talk about ways The Dark Knight Rises could go horribly wrong with twitter peeps (tweeps), it's getting my name out and there's nothing wrong with that. What bothers me is the behavior of people who post their thoughts for the sole purpose of dissention and rabble-rousing. Constructive criticism is one thing, combative, racist or incendiary commentary is quite another. It's rude, dickish behavior that can border on harassment in certain contexts, behavior for which you can be banned from whatever venue you were using to spew your ignorant bile. And yet, it persists. These people keep right on finding ways to annoy and harrangue, under the presumption that not only is their opinion the only correct one (arrogance), they have every right to voice it any way they wish to whomever will listen (entitlement). Critical analysis and review is everywhere on the Internet. But you will never catch any such entertainer worth their salt telling you point-blank that they are 100% right in their opinion and everybody else is wrong. Go ahead and take a look. Yahtzee, MovieBob, SFDebris, Confused Matthew, Red Letter Media, TotalBiscuit - none of them end a discussion with "I'm right, you're wrong, your mom agreed with me last night" in any serious discussion. Some of them may play this sort of thing for laughs, but even the most satirical and cynical of these folks are also intelligent enough to know that anything upon which they might pontificate involves the exposition of their own subjective views. Sorry, that was a lot of big words. Put simply: None of these people believes they are a holy authority on anything they talk about. Yes, some of them are professional critics, paid to give their opinion based on the years of experience they have weighing objective and subjective criteria of various media, but each and every one of them are human beings, and human beings are fallible, subjective creatures. Yahtzee and MovieBob might not like shooters, but that doesn't mean shooters are bad. People like those caricatured by MovieBob's Anti-Thinker may consider retro games to be stupid, but them saying it does not make it so. These people I've mentioned know this. It's a shame a lot of the people who chime in on their presentations can't have the same sort of self-awareness. And when you try to point out the flaws in their arguments, their mental couch forts repel your critiques with such eloquent responses as "NO U" or "COOL STORY BRO." Just because your point of view makes more intellectual or logical sense doesn't mean you're going to win over the mistaken. Ours is a culture that nurtures the arrogant and entitled, and trolls of this stripe thrive in this culture, the pundits and politicians ranting on about rights and freedoms while these dregs emerge from under their bridges to tell you why your opinion sucks and theirs is The Truth. It's a level of impenetrability to reality that would be impressive if it weren't so pathetic. I don't know what I hope to accomplish by posting this, other than to bring attention to and underscore the causes behind this prevailing sentiment among the seething and apparently idiotic masses of the Internet. Because like any disease, the more we know about the causes, the better chance we have of finding a cure. If one even exists.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

What VVVVVV's Music Says

What VVVVVV's Music Says — Blue Ink Alchemy

One of the best things about indy platformer VVVVVV is its infectious chiptune music. It compliments the story of gravity-flipping Captain Veridian's quest to rescue his crew from the 8-bit perils of the mysterious other dimension. Souleye, the composer, brilliantly uses the tools available in a minimal environment as much as the game itself does, building mood and driving the actions of the player without extraneous bombast. But more than underscoring the action, PPPPPP (the soundtrack) carries messages all its own, illustrated by the game and reaching beyond the screen into one's life. This sort of thing could simply be a case of me reading into things more deeply than I should, but it's nonetheless interesting to me that this music worming into my ears has more to it than rhythms to which one taps the action button.

Pushing Onwards

As much as bits of this iconic tune of VVVVVV are borrowed from other themes, the message it conveys is clear in its title. As this music plays, the Captain is learning the ropes of the levels, flipping from floors to ceilings and back again, often running afoul of the hundreds of spikes littered throughout the corridors. Thanks to the checkpoints, however, Veridian is never stopped for long, unless you as the player pull the plug. In other words, the only thing stopping you from pushing onwards is you. Considering this is the first tune we hear in VVVVVV following the accident that strands Veridian and his crew, it has to immediately set the mood, as we don't have voice acting or deep sound effect design. More than just creating atmosphere, however, Pushing Onwards gets us into the groove. It dares us to live up to its soars, to defy its lows, to overcome the obstacles before us and go further than we have before. Who couldn't use a little bit of that sort of motivation in their daily lives?

Potential for Anything

The tools that produce this tune may be the same as those used throughout the game, but Potential for Anything moves at a slightly different pace, a more lyrical lilt than the straightforward grooviness of Pushing Onwards. It's a bit more mysterious, a little esoteric. Like Pushing Onwards, the reasons are there in its title. In the context of the game, it's difficult to say what to expect as the player moves Captain Veridian from one screen to the next. It could be a straighforward dodge-the-spikes setup, or a wrinkle could be thrown in with disappearing platforms, or the word LIES may get in our way. It's clear that Terry Cavanaugh saw this dimension as one full of potential, and he used it to create just about anything he could to present us with new mind-bending challenges. But again, I feel the music transcends its origins. The fantasy bookstopper novel, the hand-drawn masterpiece, the epic hero on a harrowing quest - they all begin with a blank page. The same pulpy construct used to generate TPS reports, account audits and letters of termination also yeild escapes to our dearest fantasies or exploration of our darkest fears. A blank page holds, quite literally, a potential for anything. These are just two examples from this surprisingly deep soundtrack, and both tracks are audible in the free demo of VVVVVV available on Kongregate & Steam. Check out the game, listen to the music, and make up your own mind.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Into the Nentir Vale, Part 8

Into the Nentir Vale, Part 8 — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Nentir Vale is a campaign setting provided to new players of Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition. It's present in the Red Box and most of the starting materials. For a party almost all completely new to D&D and a DM re-familiarizing himself with the latest edition, it's a great place to start a campaign. This will be an ongoing recollection of what happens to the party as they make their way through the Nentir Vale. Enjoy. Previously: The Resistance Grows In the wake of the brawl, the four adventurers are directed to the livery in the northern part of Albridge. There they finally meet Dar Gramath, the de facto leader of the resistance against the Iron Circle. Faced with needing to organize his people into an armed resistance, Dar Gramath suggested to the heroes that interdicting some of the supply runs taking place across the Harkenwold would disrupt Iron Circle operations and distract them from what were, essentially, troop movements. The party was in favor of this plan, especially Lyria.

"I come from a long line of..." "Thieves?" "Canadians?" "... grizzlies!" - Danielle, Mike & Ben on Lyria's lineage

The supply routes used by the Iron Circle are known to Dar Gramath, but nobody has undertaken operations against the mercenaries due to fear of reprisal against their families. The foursome of outsiders, on the other hand, have no such concerns and plan an ambush. The chosen area has some standing stones by the side of the road, making for excellent cover. As Lyria and Andrasian adeptly get into position on top of the stones, Krillorien gives Melanie a boost, only to have her slip and fall on top of him.

"I like this plan." "Try again." "wait, no, give me a second down here..." - Mike and Ben after Ben fails his roll and gets a face full of Melanie's good melons

After surviving his vision of marshmallow hell, Krillorien gets Melanie in position and gets into a hiding place himself.

Ben was a little confused on skill rolls, Danielle tried to explain: "Say you have to roll dungeoneering for something." "'You have to roll dungeoneering for something.'" "Say you have to do that." "'You have to do that.'"

The caravan came into sight after a short wait. It was a single horse-drawn cart flanked by Iron Circle soldiers and lead by a hound-like construct. It did not catch the scent of the party, and they set upon the caravan before the dark adept sitting beside the cart's driver knew what was happening. The horse was freed from its restraints and bolted down the path a bit as the fighting ensued. Melanie needed a moment to gather her wits for spellcasting after taking a bad step off of the ledge she'd been hiding on.

"You must have popped a lung when you landed on your boobs." - Ben

It wasn't long before Melanie's spells took their toll upon the Iron Circle.

"My bosoms emit a phantasmal energy!" - Eric

With the guardians of the cargo dead, the party claimed it for themselves. They also took ownership of the horse, debating whether to cede it to Dar Gramath or keep it as well. "You can ride it back," Krillorien told Melanie, "as long as you don't ride side-saddle." "No problem!" Melanie favored the men with a smile as Lyria rolled her eyes. "I don't think you're talking about the same thing anymore." They returned to Albridge to discover that, thanks to their distraction, Dar Gramath had contacted Tor's Hold to begin organizing those willing to fight the Iron Circle. However, to ensure that all of the Harkenwold would rise up against the oppressors, they would need the allgiance of the Woodsinger elves living deep in the forest. Andrasian did not like this turn of events; it's possible he and his family do not get along for some reason. The Woodsingers are a cagey, xenophobic tribe, and were unwilling to join up with the others within the Harkenwold facing Iron Circle rule without proof that their sacrifice was warranted. To prove their good faith, the adventurers were charged with destroying an ancient evil within the forest. A travelling cleric from elsewhere in the Nentir Vale, who matched the description of Malareth, had been seen in the wood near ancient standing stones serving as the entry to a forgotten elven city. The only way in involved a vial of green dragon's blood and the name of the city. With this information, the party made their way to the standing stones. Goblin minions bearing the mark of Irontooth slept nearby in a broken-down cart as large spiders roamed the canopies of the trees. Sneaking through the underbrush, Andrasian poured the blood onto the plinth and spoke the name of the city, and the party found themselves whisked away by ancient, arcane means... All locations, NPCs, spells and equipment copyright Wizards of the Coast unless otherwise noted.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Into the Nentir Vale: Part 7

Into the Nentir Vale: Part 7 — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Nentir Vale is a campaign setting provided to new players of Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition. It's present in the Red Box and most of the starting materials. For a party almost all completely new to D&D and a DM re-familiarizing himself with the latest edition, it's a great place to start a campaign. This will be an ongoing recollection of what happens to the party as they make their way through the Nentir Vale. Enjoy. Previously: Damn Dirty Croakers As the party took stock of themselves and made sure none of them were badly wounded, a loud croak was heard from outside the caverns. Recognizing it as the call of bullywugs not unlike those they'd just slain, the party readied itself.

"I draw my axe!" "I draw my sword." "I draw my... boobs?" - Mike, Ben and Eric preparing for battle

The bullywugs outside were accompanied by a pair of giant frogs and a halfling bow at the end of the rope. The bullywug champion Uggloor had captured the boy when his friends had fled and he'd unfortunately slipped and fallen in the mud. As the party moved to take on the raiders, Lyria tumbled down the ledge behind Uggloor and her daggers found their mark. His minions tried to skewer the party with their javelins, and the frogs attempted to grab hold of one of the intruders with their sticky tongues.

"It tries to tongue you, and misses." At this description, Ben died of laughter.

At the first sign of trouble, the halfing boy fled. Lyria kept Uggloor occupied to prevent him from giving chase. Be it from this focus or the notion of the abuse of a kinsman, she didn't stop until the champion had croaked his last.

"She hit him so hard he leapt off the board!" - Ben

Meanwhile, the rest of the party resolved to deal with the remaining pair of bullywugs and their pet frogs. The tendency of their foes to leap about made bringing them down somewhat difficult. Keeping the bullywugs rooted to one location and dealing enough damage to prevent them leaping away became a top priority.

"I'm moving off the map." "You can move off the map?" "Why do we even have a map?" - Danielle, Eric and Mike discussion spatial positioning in combat.

Eventually, one of the frogs grabbed hold of Andrasian and drew him into its gullet. The party laid into the frog, moving quickly to cut their friend free. The remaining frog didn't stay around long enough to get carved up. The halfling youth, a member of the Reedfoot clan, was very grateful for the rescue. He told the party that his uncle ran one of the many flatboats that traversed up and down the White River through the Harkenwold, trading with towns like Albridge and the farms in between. Before taking him home, the party returned to Tor's Hold to report their success. Bran Torsson was very happy with the news, and agreed to send warriors from Tor's Hold in the fight to come. he also asked Krillorien, on the sly, to bless his house in which many of the soldiers were training, dining and sleeping. He felt Pelor's blessing would inspire the troops, and it'd also piss off his shrill wife. Krillorien happily agreed. From there, the party traveled towards the river. They found several halfling flatboats heading towards Albridge. One of them was captained by the youth's uncle, Willet. He gently chastised the lad for losing his footing, and recognized Lyria as a Thorngauge, knowing her uncle Bobbin very well. The Thorngauges ran a caravan similar to the Reedfoot's flatboats, only on wagons between Stormwatch and Erathgate to the south. Puffing on his pipe and concealing a brace of knives under his waistcoat, he had no trouble sneaking the party into Albridge. On their way to the livery where Dar Gramath was organizing the resistance to the Iron Circle, the party stopped at a tavern. Inside, members of the selfsame Iron Circle were carousing and carrying on, drinking their fill without paying and harassing the staff and locals. Andrasian admonished them to stop. The head brigand responded by saying that the newcomwers needed to surrender their weapons, as only Iron Circle members could carry arms. Andrasian chellenged the mercenaries to take their arms. "Now now, boys," Melanie said as she swept into the tavern. "There's no need to fight." There was a pause. "Kill the elf-men and the shortstack," the Iron Circle brigand replied. "Leave the woman for me."

"Oh, balls. CHEESE IT!" - Eric's reaction to the Brigand's orders.

A tavern brawl naturally ensued... Next: Caravans & Standing Stones All locations, NPCs, spells and equipment copyright Wizards of the Coast unless otherwise noted.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Into the Nentir Vale, Part 8

Into the Nentir Vale, Part 8 — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Nentir Vale is a campaign setting provided to new players of Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition. It's present in the Red Box and most of the starting materials. For a party almost all completely new to D&D and a DM re-familiarizing himself with the latest edition, it's a great place to start a campaign. This will be an ongoing recollection of what happens to the party as they make their way through the Nentir Vale. Enjoy. Previously: The Resistance Grows In the wake of the brawl, the four adventurers are directed to the livery in the northern part of Albridge. There they finally meet Dar Gramath, the de facto leader of the resistance against the Iron Circle. Faced with needing to organize his people into an armed resistance, Dar Gramath suggested to the heroes that interdicting some of the supply runs taking place across the Harkenwold would disrupt Iron Circle operations and distract them from what were, essentially, troop movements. The party was in favor of this plan, especially Lyria.

"I come from a long line of..." "Thieves?" "Canadians?" "... grizzlies!" - Danielle, Mike & Ben on Lyria's lineage

The supply routes used by the Iron Circle are known to Dar Gramath, but nobody has undertaken operations against the mercenaries due to fear of reprisal against their families. The foursome of outsiders, on the other hand, have no such concerns and plan an ambush. The chosen area has some standing stones by the side of the road, making for excellent cover. As Lyria and Andrasian adeptly get into position on top of the stones, Krillorien gives Melanie a boost, only to have her slip and fall on top of him.

"I like this plan." "Try again." "wait, no, give me a second down here..." - Mike and Ben after Ben fails his roll and gets a face full of Melanie's good melons

After surviving his vision of marshmallow hell, Krillorien gets Melanie in position and gets into a hiding place himself.

Ben was a little confused on skill rolls, Danielle tried to explain: "Say you have to roll dungeoneering for something." "'You have to roll dungeoneering for something.'" "Say you have to do that." "'You have to do that.'"

The caravan came into sight after a short wait. It was a single horse-drawn cart flanked by Iron Circle soldiers and lead by a hound-like construct. It did not catch the scent of the party, and they set upon the caravan before the dark adept sitting beside the cart's driver knew what was happening. The horse was freed from its restraints and bolted down the path a bit as the fighting ensued. Melanie needed a moment to gather her wits for spellcasting after taking a bad step off of the ledge she'd been hiding on.

"You must have popped a lung when you landed on your boobs." - Ben

It wasn't long before Melanie's spells took their toll upon the Iron Circle.

"My bosoms emit a phantasmal energy!" - Eric

With the guardians of the cargo dead, the party claimed it for themselves. They also took ownership of the horse, debating whether to cede it to Dar Gramath or keep it as well. "You can ride it back," Krillorien told Melanie, "as long as you don't ride side-saddle." "No problem!" Melanie favored the men with a smile as Lyria rolled her eyes. "I don't think you're talking about the same thing anymore." They returned to Albridge to discover that, thanks to their distraction, Dar Gramath had contacted Tor's Hold to begin organizing those willing to fight the Iron Circle. However, to ensure that all of the Harkenwold would rise up against the oppressors, they would need the allgiance of the Woodsinger elves living deep in the forest. Andrasian did not like this turn of events; it's possible he and his family do not get along for some reason. The Woodsingers are a cagey, xenophobic tribe, and were unwilling to join up with the others within the Harkenwold facing Iron Circle rule without proof that their sacrifice was warranted. To prove their good faith, the adventurers were charged with destroying an ancient evil within the forest. A travelling cleric from elsewhere in the Nentir Vale, who matched the description of Malareth, had been seen in the wood near ancient standing stones serving as the entry to a forgotten elven city. The only way in involved a vial of green dragon's blood and the name of the city. With this information, the party made their way to the standing stones. Goblin minions bearing the mark of Irontooth slept nearby in a broken-down cart as large spiders roamed the canopies of the trees. Sneaking through the underbrush, Andrasian poured the blood onto the plinth and spoke the name of the city, and the party found themselves whisked away by ancient, arcane means... All locations, NPCs, spells and equipment copyright Wizards of the Coast unless otherwise noted.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Magpie Management

Magpie Management — Blue Ink Alchemy

I apologize for yesterday's oddness. I've been meaning to adjust the schedule of my blogging. Not on this end, mind you: posts will still publish as near to noon as possible. I figure folks on lunch break might want something interesting to read other than the news. It's totally a creation-oriented thing. Rather than scrambling for topics at the last minute, which occasionally leads to things like surly Mexican supercops scowling at you, I need to make it a point to jot post ideas down when I have them and write said posts in advance. Tomorrow, for example, will see the return of Into the Nentir Vale, and while I have the funny quotes from my players, making sure the narrative flows in line with the events of the last two sessions would take up most of my lunch hour. Still, it falls back to making sure I use the free time I have wisely. This includes time on the train, naturally, as well as walks to and from the station. It can be difficult to predict when an idea for a post might hit me, and if I don't document them they might slip through my fingers the next time a shinier idea passes me by. I'm a bit like a magpie, in that way, which is something I've mentioned before. Creating new habits to replace bad or broken ones can be one of the biggest obstacles a person has to face. It means change. It represents stepping away from the familiar, the comfortable. The edge can be a scary place, and not everybody likes to hang out there. We need to remind ourselves, however, that with risk comes reward. I'm dangling myself over the edge already, at least a little. Queries are going out. I know most will be met with rejection. But that's a fact of the writer's life. It's not the rejection itself that matters - it's how we deal with it.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

He's Not Here

He's Not Here — Blue Ink Alchemy

The Alchemist is not here today. He is watching Machete. You want to mess with Machete? Didn't think so.

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Blue Ink Alchemy