Wednesday, March 31, 2010

About Amateurs

About Amateurs — Blue Ink Alchemy

Bard
The word "amateur" has a bad connotation. You might look at an art's student attempt to recreate the Mona Lisa, or a mod for Half-Life designed to make it look like Wolfenstien 3-D, or an Uwe Boll film and say "Ew, that's completely amateur." By that, you're likely to mean "poorly designed, conceived or executed, and in those cases you might be right, though I for one would give props to the mod designers for using a flexible open-source shooter engine to hearken back to those bygone days where your arsenal wasn't limited to two weapons and your health didn't come back automatically if you just stood around a corner making sure your shoelaces were tied. (Okay, all right, that's the last time I'll rag on Halo's gameplay, I promise. It's really the fans' fault I hate it so.) The real meaning of amateur, though, is based in its direct French translation - "lover of". An amateur is someone who does something for the sheer love of it, not necessarily for the money. Now, I want to get paid for what I do as much as this shouty beard-faced fellow, but the fact that I'm not yet isn't going to stop me from doing it. It's just something I need to do on my own time until I can find a way to fool the monolithic corporate world at large into believing that what I do enhances productivity or shifts paradigms or some other such bullshit. That's part of the reason why this isn't getting posted until almost 4 PM, and why it's so short. That and I do have a day job that keeps me in the category of "struggling amateur" instead of shifting me to "starving amateur."
Blue Ink Alchemy

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Survival's Requiem

Survival's Requiem — Blue Ink Alchemy

This week's Escapist, "Bump In The Night," is all about survival horror. Here is the article I pitched them for the issue, all about one of the best games of the genre I never played until I got married.
I think there are certain elements of true horror in games that, like in the film industry, have been left aside for torture porn and jump-out scares. Few games that carry the horror moniker truly get inside the head of the player and compel them to struggle to survive, let alone prevail, and instead toss handfuls of gore and jarring images at the screen. A game that understood the meaning of horror and holds up despite the passing of one console generation to another is a humble title for the GameCube - Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem.
Courtesy Silicon Knights
Instead of cribbing notes from more modern sources of horror such as Eli Roth or James Wan, Eternal Darkness reaches back to some of the more foundational writings of the genre, particularly H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe. The game, in fact, quotes Poe in the beginning, as we are introduced to Alexandra Roivas, a young woman whose grandfather Edward was murdered in his Rhode Island home. As the investigators have few answers, Alex begins looking around the mansion herself, and stumbles across a secret room containing, among other things, the "Tome of Eternal Darkness." Upon opening this ghastly book, Alex is transported into the life of centurion Pious Augustus, who in 26 B.C. discovers one of three artifacts representing the essence of a powerful and old god-like being called an Ancient. As the player, you choose which Ancient corrupts Pious, setting up a conflict between the creature using the now-undying centurion as a proxy, and several characters throughout time including Alex who must stop the Ancient from ushering in a terrible age of eternal darkness.
Courtesy Silicon Knights
Several generations of the Roivas family
Eternal Darkness has a minimal UI, keeping the screen from being too cluttered as you explore the game's four locations at various points throughout history. Your life, "magick" and sanity meters only appeared when they were being affected. The player quickly begins to associate the different colors of the meters - red, blue and green, respectively - with the three Ancients and their minions, and must quickly learn how each affects the other. Ulyaoth, whose purview is over the soul, powers his minions through magick but is vulnerable to physical confrontation. Chattur'gha rules the body, making his pawns potent in a direct scrape but susceptible to mental assault. Xel'lotath reigns supreme in the realm of the mind and pushes the boundaries of one's perceptions of reality through her servants, but must succumb to magickal assaults. Each has a color, a distinct personality and a unique appearance, but all three of them hate the neutral yet powerful fourth Ancient, Mantorok, whom the player's characters come to represent whether they want to or not. The spell-casting system of "magick" is one of the unique features of the game. Instead of giving the players direct instructions on how to use the runes discovered in various places and times, the player must experiment with the runes in what amounts to sentence construction. Basic spells involve three runes: the name of an Ancient which sets the spell's "alignment", a "verb" that describes what the player wants to do - summon, absorb, etc - and a "noun" that instructs the spell as to its target. Enhancement or "power" runes can expand a spell to five or seven runes, but the important part of the spell is its alignment. Trying to attack a minion of Xel'lotath with a physical spell isn't going to work as well as the opposite. However, a spell aligned with Ulyaoth will do the trick nicely. Remembering this sort of thing on the fly as undead minions lumber towards you can make for a harrowing experience in and of itself. There's also an option to discover the right rune to represent Mantorok.
Courtesy Silicon Knights
On a story level, the common threads woven between the disparate lives of the dozen or so characters in Eternal Darkness drew them and the player into the dire and seemingly hopeless web of machinations of the Ancients. Well-written stories for each character coupled with excellent voice acting showed us mortal beings who found themselves struggling to maintain their sanity in the face of horrors from beyond the stars. And the insanity was not limited to the game's side of the screen, because every so often, the game would quite directly remind the player that they are not entirely in control of what is happening to them with the use of the game's infamous Insanity Effects. This innovation was so singular that Nintendo patented it. Gamers often maintain a distance between themselves and the content of the game with the knowledge that they, ultimately, are in control of the events unfolding on the screen. Eternal Darkness broke through that barrier directly into the fear center of players' brains. In addition to horrifying visions the characters see, witnessing a character's head explode upon attempting to cast a healing spell or finding them walking across the ceiling when previously they were on the floor, the game occasionally poked holes through the fourth wall, by turning down the volume complete with a generic TV volume meter (a move guaranteed to blast out your eardrums if you were unprepared and tried turning up your TV in response), turning off the screen entirely or giving a false GameCube error screen. It's not entirely uncommon for the player to echo the character's panicked cry of "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!"
Courtesy Silicon Knights
Ellia, one of the game's dozen characters.
Since Eternal Darkness, there have been few games that really got into the head of a player. Silent Hill 2 is often touted for the same sort of atmosphere and storytelling as Eternal Darkness, but when it comes to this sort of immersive survival horror gameplay, the list is pretty short. Survival is, after all, more than just fighting off wave after wave of zombies. Who are we when we emerge on the other side of such an experience? How do those events change us? Good survival horror should address those questions as well as "how many zombies can you kill in three minutes?" or "how many different ways can you kill zombies?" Killing zombies will always be fun in games, but few games balance that fun with sheer terror, let alone madness. Horror is about more than just gore. Games, as a storytelling medium, should ideally be about more than complicated physics engines and shameless sex appeal. Horror games, then, should aspire to rise above the slavering hordes of the undead chasing down a trashy blonde with big tits. Alex Roivas may be an attractive blonde, but she's also smart, not a marathon runner, and pretty reasonable and stable, at least when she first arrives at Edward's mansion. Like James Sunderland of Silent Hill 2, she is pretty much alone in a haunted place slowly losing her grip on her sanity as she delves deeper and deeper into the mad secrets of the Tome of Eternal Darkness. We're taken right along with her on this downward spiral, rather than observing from a distance. We want to maintain her stability because it's the stability of our experience as well, and we want her to survive because we want to see how it ends. If that isn't immersive storytelling, I don't know what is. Eternal Darkness doesn't just set us up against slavering hordes of the undead with a selection of blunt, sharp and loud objects to fend them off. It sets up a situation that pulls is in, drives us forward and leaves us wondering how we made it through to the other side. The game becomes more than a mere simulation and serves as a medium for the invocation of primal fear. So few games since have tapped into that sort of emotional and psychological response because marketing trends seem to indicate that this sort of experience, singular and powerful as it may be, isn't what the majority of gamers are looking for. The wide-spread critical acclaim of Eternal Darkness and its die-hard fans can't compare to the masses clamoring for the next Halo game, at least in terms of spending power. Shooting or bludgeoning zombies over and over in various arenas is simpler than setting up a situation where facing a single creature can be a pants-wetting experience, and while it might be unfair to call the fans of the former sort of game "simple", the evidence seems to speak for itself. As much as I will admit to enjoying blasting legions of shambling corpses, there are times when my brain cries out for something more, some immersive storytelling, an experience that means something. Eternal Darkness fits that bill perfectly, and when my brain starts making those noises I'm likely to play it again. The uninitiated player would hopefully find it to be a unique and unforgettable experience ... if they survive.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, March 29, 2010

Rigmarole - It's Actually A Word!

Rigmarole - It's Actually A Word! — Blue Ink Alchemy

The rigmarole to which I'm referring is getting taxes filed. Normally, I'm the kind of guy to file using the Interweb. However, this past year was different because I got myself hitched. Since the (un)fortunate woman who's become my bride isn't from this country, there are quite a few hoops that need to be jumped through, or set on fire, to get everything sorted. We were told when we last went to the local IRS office that we needed to provide a little letter from Social Security saying that she's not eligible for one of their special numbers. So today after I slept in to try and shake off some residual lethargy and soreness from this weekend, we headed out to the closest Social Security office, located in Norristown. We waited for about half an hour before the woman who saw us provided the letter without much prompting - we pretty much just had to tell her my wife's a foreigner. So we headed back to the IRS office, where we were informed we didn't need the letter we'd just spent a good hour of our afternoon acquiring. Still, all of our forms were in order and there were no problems with my wife's Canadian passport, so the federal return was filed without much fanfare. Now I need to tackle the state return. And if there's any bit of financial paperwork more convoluted and tedious than a federal tax return, it's a Pennsylvania state tax return. I'm actually kind of looking forward to being back at work tomorrow.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Sunday, March 28, 2010

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Pokémon 3

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Pokémon 3 — Blue Ink Alchemy

This week's IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! brought to you by a generous donation by Rachel Kraft. Thank you for your support!
Logo courtesy Netflix.  No logos were harmed in the creation of this banner.

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/pokemon.mp3]
I went into this knowing I'm probably not the right audience for the film. I'm not an adolescent and my brain is, as far as I can tell, relatively intact and undamaged. However, attempting to do criticism of any medium in which you get paid for it will mean that, from time to time, you have to undertake an endeavour that isn't up your alley. So me reviewing Pokémon 3: The Movie is a bit like seeing Yahtzee take on a real-time strategy game or JPRG for Zero Punctuation. It just isn't going to end well.
Courtesy Nintendo/KidsWB
I used to be a pretty big animé fan, but I never really got into the whole Pokémon scene. My tastes in the genre tend to lean more towards the artsy Miyazaki films and the rather adult escapism of series such as Cowboy Bebop, Rurouni Kenshin, Macross Plus, Record of Lodoss War and Death Note. So the art style of the film didn't bother me as much as it might some others. However, this film is meant to draw in and entertain youngsters fully enthralled by the Pokémon series of games, or those that are just distracted by bright colors and "catchy" tunes. Though I doubt most of them understand why Brock's so interested in getting laid.
Courtesy Nintendo/KidsWB
This exercise in adaptating the long-running Nintendo franchise in animé format opens with the short Pikachu & Pichu, in which the titular Pokémon get involved in a city-street caper. Surprisingly, at least to me, I found this wasn't half-bad once I got past the nature of the character designs and methods of communication. This little romp would be decent in exemplifying wordless storytelling if it weren't for the insipid narration. This is probably adaptation decay to make sure ignorant large American children understand what's going on since subtlety is likely lost on their squishy over-stimulated brains. The music and style seem to be something in keeping with Charlie Chaplain or Laurel & Hardy (if they were rather cute 'monsters') but the knowledge that the narrator's going to chime in to point out the obvious at any moment waters down any potential enjoyment for an American viewer over the age of 6. My favorite part was a little in-joke Brock makes on the unchanging nature of most animé characters' costumes.
Courtesy Nintendo/KidsWB
The movie proper begins by introducing us to Professor Spencer Hale and his daughter, Molly. They're shown as being happy which means that something awful's going to happen and, within about five minutes, Spencer's been sucked into a pocket dimension by a type of Pokémon known as the Unown. Molly, understandably upset by her dad's disappearance, stumbles onto the means to summon the Unown and they start granting her wishes, including creating a facsimile of a legendary Pokémon called Entei who basically serves Molly as a surrogate dad. Into this situation wander Ash, Brock and Misty who are joined by Professor Oak and Ash's mom, since Spencer was one of Oak's top students. Entei appears before the group and makes off with Ash's mother since Molly also wished for a mommy. Naturally, Ash doesn't take his mom's abduction lying down and heads off to rescue her. Upon seeing the trainers climing the crystal palace of dreams created by the Unown, two things happen. Molly decides she wants to be a Pokémon trainer too, setting off a series of matches with Brock and Misty; and Ash's mom snaps out of the hypnosis that yanked her into the dream in the first place. The confrontation escalates, more Pokémon battles are waged, and since this is a kid's movie everything resolves happily and plenty of Pokémon are seen so the kids who go home can spend more time pursuing them in whichever Pokémon game came out most recently. Now, I can't pretend that I don't understand how this movie got made. Nor can I pretend that I don't get its appeal. Heck, seeing Ash riding Charizard around made me smile a little, because even at my age the idea of riding a fire-breathing dragon into battle is pretty damn cool. However, the thing that got to me about Pokémon 3: The Movie is how safe it felt. To me, at least, there was never really any sense of danger or tension. There was the knowledge in the back of my mind that even if Molly wished for a neutron bomb or to wipeout the firstborn or a new Dan Brown book - you know, some sort of apocalyptic event that'd destroy humanity - Ash and company would emerge on the other end unscathed because there are more episodes of their TV series to produce along with video games, action figures, plushies, bed dressings and toaster cozies. When you have a cute mascot of a lucrative franchise, you don't want to feed it to a wood chipper just to see if it's still the same color coming out the other end. Well, Nintendo doesn't, at least. But I'm somewhat curious.
Courtesy Nintendo/KidsWB
Anyway, my point is that this movie, for all of its various forms of what might be considered monsters, has no teeth. There might be some narrative nuance with Entei sacrificing itself to grant Molly's wishes for peace when the Unown spin out of control but I must again consider a form of adaptation decay at work because the voice acting just felt flat and uninteresting. None of the principle characters seemed all that concerned with what was going on outside of stock reaction noises. And if they don't care about what's going on, the audience won't either. A grown up audience, that is, won't care. Kids are far more likely to be invested in the characters since they're more focused on the pictures in motion than the writing or acting or motivation or passion behind the figures. This isn't really the fault of the writers or actors, though, more the fault of the material itself. There's only so much you can do with something this generic when aimed at a narrow age group. At least kids can see a cautionary tale with the moral "Never summon anything bigger than your head." Imagine a peice of toast. Functional in that it will sustain you, but bland. It'd be livened up with some butter or jam or peanut butter or cinnamon or something. But it's possible to ruin toast, by burning it or dropping it butter-side down or having the dog snatch it from your plate when you're not looking. Pokémon 3: The Movie isn't ruined or burnt but it's not tasty or sweet, either. It exists mostly for its own sake and to further drive the sales of games and merchandise to impressionable young kids. If you do have young kids and they're into Pokémon, this is likely to get added to the Instant selections they can watch over and over again while you do important things like make dinner, tidy up the house, balance your budget or break out the gimp. If you're an adult without spawn, this animé will pass you by and be forgotten almost as soon as you finish watching it, meaning I really can't recommend it. In your case, may I humbly recommend something a bit more adult, especially if you can watch it in the original Japanese. Your mileage may vary, but for my money, a much better adult animé experience can be had watching a little 1995 flick called Ninja Scroll. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Recovery All Around

Recovery All Around — Blue Ink Alchemy

Ubuntu, Courtesy feeblemind.org
I'm still a little sore and feeling somewhat post-op after yesterday's wisdom tooth extraction, but two side effects have emerged. One is the occasional nosebleed, but I haven't had one since yesterday (or last night, I think) and the other is these fucking hiccups. Seriously, hiccups annoy me. It makes it difficult for me to maintain the line of a conversation and sometimes even a train of thought because of these irregular and somewhat random spasms down in my diaphragm. I've tried holding my breath and drinking water, as well as this cure and so far have only had mixed results. On to a spoonful of sugar, I guess. Anyway, my computers seem to be faring better. A little Systems Restore magic on the main desktop got him working again, and I'm currently working around the various little bugs that emerged from upgrading the Ubuntu version on my laptop. I love Ubuntu, by the way. It's a great introduction to Linux. The OS is flexible, the community's friendly & responsive, stuff looks pretty damn good on it and if I can get Wine working again, I might even be able to run games on it. Like, modern ones. I doubt it has the graphical oomph for, say, Aion, but it might be worth a try. With these problems fixed and updates underway, I figured I could finally get around to recording this week's ICFN, even if it means using the sub-standard microphone on the webcam. But guess what happened as soon as I settled in to do that. The fucking hiccups came back. So, tomorrow, maybe. For now I'm going to stop stressing and do something relaxing, like write, or shoot Collectors in the face with a shotgun. Maybe download Perfect Dark on the XBLA. I hear it's "a stupid good time."
Blue Ink Alchemy

Friday, March 26, 2010

There Are Not Enough Expletives.

There Are Not Enough Expletives. — Blue Ink Alchemy

ON FIRE.
So. Instead of recording the IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! slated for today at the office, I brought my USB headset home and tried plugging it into the desktop system here at home. Windows didn't like it. I run XP on my desktop since there's no way on God's greenish-brown Earth I can afford a legit copy of Vista or 7, and it stubbornly refused to acknowledge the proper drivers to use the headset. I could have used the webcam microphone, but that thing tends to make my voice sound like wet expulsions of ass. So I tried just about everything I could think of to get it working and nothing took. Over to my laptop, then, I figured. It's something of a clunker, the display occasionally fizzles and its XP installation is at least partially on a bad sector of hard disk, but Ubuntu runs like a champ 9 times out of 10 and I figured it wouldn't let me down. However, after playing with a few audio packages it seems that while it'll record sound from the headset, the resulting sound is a stuttering mess. At this point I was pretty pissed but I resolved to get the audio recorded anyway despite it being almost 10:30 at night. I might still be something of a slacker, but I'm a professional, dammit, and I promised a generous donor I'd get their ICFN up by tomorrow. So I sat down at the desktop to fire up the webcam microphone and tried opening a browser to see my draft of the post. The Internet didn't work. Apparently the last time I removed the USB headset, the associated drivers took the ethernet connector's drivers with it. Muttering curses to just about every deity I could think of, I rummaged through my disks to find the one for my motherboard. Wham, into the PC it went. Bam, it found the drivers and began to install. Boom. Blue screen of death. I rebooted. BSoD again. Cue the Blue Ink Alchemist screaming obscenities. So, for now, the desktop PC is bricked. The laptop has no reliable way to record audio. And by the time you fine and patient people read this, I'll have gotten my face cut open and some hard little bony bits torn out. Happy Friday. Or, if you prefer...

FUCK. MY. LIFE.


Blue Ink Alchemy

Thursday, March 25, 2010

What's In A Title?

What's In A Title? — Blue Ink Alchemy

Bard
So. The Project. Nice and enigmatic, but I doubt people will be flocking to Amazon to download it to their Kindles. Mrs. Alchemist keeps asking me why I haven't given it a real title. Honestly, it's because I can't pick one. What we have here is a story with a fantasy setting. The protagonist, Asherian, comes from a magocracy of floating cities that exist behind a protective wall that is part stone, part magical whoseewhatsis. He's an apprentice and his class takes a field trip out into the 'Wilds' on the other side of that wall. Let's just say that doesn't end well. The idea is that his life has been somewhat cloistered up until this point, and he's stranded and alone out in a world he's unfamiliar with, where his use of magic might end up killing him for one reason or another. So it's something of a hero's-journey/fish-out-of-water deal. So what am I gonna call this thing? I've had a few ideas, but none of them really seem to be sticking.

Arrow of Fate

Ash's instructor gets arrow'd which dooms the field trip. Now, this was what I originally called it back when this was a short story instead of a novel, and Ash was a chick with a different name. However, it has a few problems. Ash isn't an archer so the title isn't about him, arrows don't play a huge role in the overall story, and the title in general feels kind of Harlequinesque. So I'm inclined to scrap that one.

Beyond the Wall

Since 80-90% of the story will be happening, well, beyond the wall, this one makes more sense. There's something about it that bugs me, though. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Maybe it just feels too much like other fantasy novel titles. Maybe I want to avoid the whole "blank the blank" formula of title creation. Maybe it said something nasty about my mom. I don't know.

Asherian's Journal

Ash happens across a book a classmate of his had just bought which is blank, and he starts keeping track of his adventures in it. It's something of a device to help us get a view of things from his perspective between chapters, but it's not a very big part of the story. Mrs. Alchemist also pointed out that it "tells [the reader] nothing." What am I missing, here? Why can't I pick a title? Which title do you think I should pick? Let's make some alchemy happen, folks. Bring your disparate elements into the mix and let's see if we can't transmute some of these random ideas into the handle for the next bigass fantasy epic of all time. Or at least a little yarn about magic, dragons and interesting people that doesn't suck.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Farewell to the Tube

Farewell to the Tube — Blue Ink Alchemy

Television
I have almost an entire season of 24 sitting on my DVR at home. I'm going to need to watch it all in the next few weeks, since my wife and I will be moving sometime around May. When we move, it's likely we'll be leaving the television behind. Well, we'll be taking the television set with us, but the television service is another matter. This is a shame, and not just because we're fans of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. We also like the shows listed below. I've gone into detail previously as to why these shows rock our collective socks, and someday I'll talk about Bones and a few others. But, for now, here's what we'll be missing when we move. I mean, we'll still have the internet so we can probably snag episodes online after the fact, but still...

House

Best medical show on television.

Fringe

John Noble (and Gene)

White Collar

White Collar

Burn Notice

Burn Notice (image courtesy tvgasm)

NCIS & NCIS: Los Angeles

Naval Criminal Investigative Service

Castle

ABC's Castle

Blue Ink Alchemy

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

PT: Bouncing Back

PT: Bouncing Back — Blue Ink Alchemy

Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann
It's been a while since I've put together a PT post, and this seems about the right time. Why? Because after the last week I've had, wallowing in self-loathing and lamenting my state of affairs, I realized there was something I desperately needed. A swift kick in the ass. Going through transitions in life can be taxing. Changing job descriptions, if not entire careers; moving from one domicile to another; cutting back on utilities or luxuries; getting by on basic foodstuffs as much as possible just to stretch out one's currency. Any of these things can take a toll on a person, and having to deal with more than one at once can be harsh. A lot of negative feelings can arise from such a predicament, but those feelings are not all that different from others that you can use. As a matter of fact, here's a rehash of what I discussed previously in terms of using negative emotions.
Anger
I know I've covered using your anger previously, but invoking a Star Wars reference never gets old. Still, if something is making you furious, with fists and teeth clenched regardless of how other people are telling you how to react (doesn't the words "Oh, you're over-reacting" make you want to punch someone in the face?) you need to expend that energy, and preferably without damage to property or invoking personal injury lawsuits. If you're a writer, what do you do? Write a fight scene. Get into the headspace of a person involved in a barroom brawl. Hell, write about someone starting said brawl. Did someone say something to a significant other you didn't like? Is someone chatting up a friend of yours without permission? Not enough booze in your drink? Write about how it makes you feel, how the fury wells up inside you and how the sensation of wheeling around and letting someone have it right in the face touches off the kind of chair-breaking bottle-throwing grand melee unseen since the days of John Wayne. You'll probably feel a bit better, and nobody will be suing you.
Fear
Let's face it. We're all afraid of something. It could be bugs, rejection, alienation of friends, cars, bacteria, being laughed at, loneliness... I could go on. The bottom line is, sooner or later your fear is going to grab hold of you. Grab hold of it right back and go dancing. Try a ghost story. Something goes bump in the night. You catch an unfamiliar or unexpected motion in the corner of your eyes. The lights go out, and the shadows seem to grow to fill the empty space. Do you start sweating? Does your hand start to shake? How fast is your heart pounding? What voices do you hear? What do you imagine is lurking there in the darkness? It could just be the cat. It might be your spouse in the next room unaware that you've hit the light switch. Or it could be a phantasmal fiend from beyond the grave. Write it out and see where your fear takes you. More than likely, it's not a place as frightening as you thought it might be.
Despair
Despair, anxiety, paranoia... they're all cut from the same cloth. "Should I have said that?" quickly becomes "I shouldn't have said that," which leads to "I'm an idiot for having said that." Sure, sometimes you make a legitimate mistake and need to clean the egg from your face. Other times, something with good intentions turns out getting tossed under a steamroller paving the road to Hell. Whatever the cause, you're left with this cloying feeling of inner doubt and depression, and you need to do something about it, otherwise it's going to consume you. Time to write a walk through the rain. Rain is an evocative weather condition. The sky's the color of gunmetal, the sun or stars hidden from view, the rain cold and relentless on the weary traveler and the wind makes sure that every surface of the body is wet. Yet people walk through it, alone with their thoughts. "What if I'm wrong? What could I have done to keep this from happening? How much have I lost, and can any of it be rescued? And what the hell am I going to do now?" Write through the thought process. Describe the rain drops, the thunder, the looks of people cozy in their warm homes or places of business, the way others are ignorant of your inner conflict. Work with the emotions. Coax them out of the shadows and into your hands where you can change them from a disability to an advantage.
Those, to me, seem to be the big three negative emotions that can come out of daily life's trials and tribulations. My point is no less sapient now than it was then, at least in my humble opinion: When you're wrestling with a negative emotion, the temptation can be to put off writing while you deal with 'important' stuff even if there's no way you can further your cause. You've made phone calls, written checks and begged for ways to avoid filing for bankruptcy or shopping the local dumpsters for usable cardboard boxes that'd make fine apartments for you and your family. What are you going to do in the meantime, wallow in your self-loathing? Play more games you've already beaten? Pick your nose? It's better to try and do something useful. Even if nobody else is going to see it, even if it's just to get something off of your chest, if you are a writer then you need to write. Stay in practice. Put words on paper. Write. It can be tough and this is advice that more often than not I need to follow myself. But it bears repeating which is why I've essentially repeated myself here. But, really, what the hell else am I going to do?
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, March 22, 2010

Today is a...

Today is a... — Blue Ink Alchemy

Train Wreck
Nothing interesting going on, really. So move along to something less full of suck.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Why Iron Man Works

Why Iron Man Works — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy Marvel
So I don't know about you folks out there in the dark depths of the Interwebs, but I'm very excited about Iron Man 2 coming out in May. We're thankfully living in a time when comic book adaptation films have emerged from the dark miasma of the previous attempts at Captain America and Spawn. But even with the mold-breaking excellence of X-Men and Spider-Man 2, Iron Man stands out. Like most stories for which I unabashedly sing praises, the Iron Man film wisely focuses on the characters and their relationships to one another rather than just wowing the audience with spectacle. Now, there's plenty of spectacle to be had in Iron Man between the different suits of armor, the shiny supercars, the fighter jets and Gwenyth Paltrow in that fantastic dress. But it never exists for its own sake, and besides being damn cool to look at it has meaning because we care about the people involved. So let's take a look at these characters and see where and how they worked, other than the fact that their actors improved their way through the entire story, according to this dude.
Courtesy Marvel
Speaking of the Dude, here the Oscar-winner is the bad guy. The nefariousness really doesn't come into play until the second act, and up until that point he comes across as the number two guy in the multi-billion arms manufacturing company that really, really wishes he was number one. He worked with Tony's dad, after all, and while the kid was working his way through MIT and impressing everybody with his genius, charm and good looks, Obie was doing the hard work of keeping the arms race going. Now that Tony's come into his own and brought out a bunch of new ideas, Obie's in danger of losing the position he's built for himself. Under his various demeanors, this is a scared man. He's afraid of becoming obsolete and forgotten. His motivations are less about taking over the world and more about the American dream of keeping the world safe from terror and violence by bringing terror and violence to those who perpetuate terror and violence. ...wait... Bridges plays Stane with equal parts flourish and humanity, being just one example of how the actors in Iron Man inhabit their characters. Given the apparent nature of the film's script, the infamous ranting scene's silence between his lines takes on a new dimension - did the other actors not see the shouting coming?
Courtesy Marvel
Tony Stark's Girl Friday is a spicy and smart administrative assistant named Virginia "Pepper" Potts. The role of the girl in this sort of story could often have the beautiful actress du jour running around in skimpy outfits getting chased by a malevolent blob of CGI screaming to beat the band. Pepper, much to my delight, isn't that kind of girl. She's the kind of girl who's willing to tell the hero when they're being selfish or dumb, but does so out of a sense of compassion rather than for the sake of being 'spunky.' Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper has depth and nuance, and works not only as a perfect foil for Tony Stark's various eccentricities but also as a standalone woman that neither becomes a shrinking violet in the light of the hero nor puts on war paint and hefts a big gun. The crowning moment for her comes about two thirds of the way through the film where she takes it upon herself, albeit at Tony's behest, to find out what Obediah's up to. The entire sequence of events from Pepper entering the office to meeting up with the SHIELD agent after a confrontation with Stane is pitch-perfect. By "confrontation", incidentally, I don't mean there's any sort of major over-dramatic standoff. The scene between Bridges and Paltrow is played quietly, diplomatically and with an air of palpable menace that both actors tie into effortlessly. More than just two characters sharing dialog, this is two arguable masters of their craft milking this scene for all of its dramatic worth without ever taking things over the top. It's one of the many things that make Iron Man shine without a single special effect being involved.
Courtesy Marvel
Just like writers write what they know for the best results, sometimes you can cast an actor into a role they've already played in real life. Our hero is a flamboyant, decadent playboy who indulges in drinking, gambling and womanizing backed up by a substantial fortune and atypical celebrity status. He discovers that what he has been doing has been detrimental for others and resolves to make things better, even if it means continuing to do what he did before but in a slightly different but no less brilliant way. I could be talking about Tony Stark, but I also could be talking about Robert Downey Jr.. Not only is RDJ perfect for this role, he plays it with both a deep understanding of the inner workings of a gearhead and the rambunctious abandon of a kid let loose on a playground. Tony Stark is a guy who fixes things. Even if it means tearing down something that's broken only to rebuild it better than it was before, he's a problem-solver with both his brain and his hands. More than that, however, he's just a guy. He's not bitten by a radioactive spider or an alien from another world, and he's not even the product of a tragic past who dedicated his life to fighting evil while dressed up in a swishy cape. Downey shows us the humanity of the man inside the armor, and later in the film when he re-dons his tuxedo to attend a party, there's a sense (at least for me) that he's wearing it the same way he wears the Iron Man suit - it protects him from people around him getting to who he really is. While Tony learns a lot, and grows as a character from start to finish, there's a foundation to his character - the narcissism and arrogance, the belief that he and he alone is the solution to the problems that arise - that never goes away and is apparently intact for the upcoming sequel. So why does Iron Man work? It's more than the suit, the special effects and the diehard fans. It's these folks, along with director Jon Favreau, that catapulted this little movie from just another decent comic book flick to a memorable and fantastic film. My copy's loaned out to a friend, which is a shame, because after writing this up, I really want to watch it again.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Why Iron Man Works

Why Iron Man Works — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy Marvel
So I don't know about you folks out there in the dark depths of the Interwebs, but I'm very excited about Iron Man 2 coming out in May. We're thankfully living in a time when comic book adaptation films have emerged from the dark miasma of the previous attempts at Captain America and Spawn. But even with the mold-breaking excellence of X-Men and Spider-Man 2, Iron Man stands out. Like most stories for which I unabashedly sing praises, the Iron Man film wisely focuses on the characters and their relationships to one another rather than just wowing the audience with spectacle. Now, there's plenty of spectacle to be had in Iron Man between the different suits of armor, the shiny supercars, the fighter jets and Gwenyth Paltrow in that fantastic dress. But it never exists for its own sake, and besides being damn cool to look at it has meaning because we care about the people involved. So let's take a look at these characters and see where and how they worked, other than the fact that their actors improved their way through the entire story, according to this dude.
Courtesy Marvel
Speaking of the Dude, here the Oscar-winner is the bad guy. The nefariousness really doesn't come into play until the second act, and up until that point he comes across as the number two guy in the multi-billion arms manufacturing company that really, really wishes he was number one. He worked with Tony's dad, after all, and while the kid was working his way through MIT and impressing everybody with his genius, charm and good looks, Obie was doing the hard work of keeping the arms race going. Now that Tony's come into his own and brought out a bunch of new ideas, Obie's in danger of losing the position he's built for himself. Under his various demeanors, this is a scared man. He's afraid of becoming obsolete and forgotten. His motivations are less about taking over the world and more about the American dream of keeping the world safe from terror and violence by bringing terror and violence to those who perpetuate terror and violence. ...wait... Bridges plays Stane with equal parts flourish and humanity, being just one example of how the actors in Iron Man inhabit their characters. Given the apparent nature of the film's script, the infamous ranting scene's silence between his lines takes on a new dimension - did the other actors not see the shouting coming?
Courtesy Marvel
Tony Stark's Girl Friday is a spicy and smart administrative assistant named Virginia "Pepper" Potts. The role of the girl in this sort of story could often have the beautiful actress du jour running around in skimpy outfits getting chased by a malevolent blob of CGI screaming to beat the band. Pepper, much to my delight, isn't that kind of girl. She's the kind of girl who's willing to tell the hero when they're being selfish or dumb, but does so out of a sense of compassion rather than for the sake of being 'spunky.' Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper has depth, nuance and works not only as a perfect foil for Tony Stark's various eccentricities but also as a standalone woman that neither becomes a shrinking violet in the light of the hero nor puts on war paint and hefts a big gun. The crowning moment for her comes about two thirds of the way through the film where she takes it upon herself, albeit at Tony's behest, to find out what Obediah's up to. The entire sequence of events from Pepper entering the office to meeting up with the SHIELD agent after a confrontation with Stane is pitch-perfect. By "confrontation", incidentally, I don't mean there's any sort of major over-dramatic standoff. The scene between Bridges and Paltrow is played quietly, diplomatically and with an air of palpable menace that both actors tie into effortlessly. More than just two characters sharing dialog, this is two arguable masters of their craft milking this scene for all of its dramatic worth without ever taking things over the top. It's one of the many things that make Iron Man shine without a single special effect being involved.
Courtesy Marvel
Just like writers write what they know for the best results, sometimes you can cast an actor into a role they've already played in real life. Our hero is a flamboyant, decadent playboy who indulges in drinking, gambling and womanizing backed up by a substantial fortune and atypical celebrity status. He discovers that what he has been doing has been detrimental for others and resolves to make things better, even if it means continuing to do what he did before but in a slightly different but no less brilliant way. I could be talking about Tony Stark, but I also could be talking about Robert Downey Jr.. Not only is RDJ perfect for this role, he plays it with both a deep understanding of the inner workings of a gearhead and the rambunctious abandon of a kid let loose on a playground. Tony Stark is a guy who fixes things. Even if it means tearing down something that's broken only to rebuild it better than it was before, he's a problem-solver with both his brain and his hands. More than that, however, he's just a guy. He's not bitten by a radioactive spider or an alien from another world, and he's not even the product of a tragic past who dedicated his life to fighting evil while dressed up in a swishy cape. Downey shows us the humanity of the man inside the armor, and later in the film when he re-dons his tuxedo to attend a party, there's a sense (at least for me) that he's wearing it the same way he wears the Iron Man suit - it protects him from people around him getting to who he really is. While Tony learns a lot, and grows as a character from start to finish, there's a foundation to his character - the narcissism and arrogance, the belief that he and he alone is the solution to the problems that arise - that never goes away and is apparently intact for the upcoming sequel. So why does Iron Man work? It's more than the suit, the special effects and the diehard fans. It's these folks, along with director Jon Favreau, that catapulted this little movie from just another decent comic book flick to a memorable and fantastic film. My copy's loaned out to a friend, which is a shame, because after writing this up, I really want to watch it again.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Saturday, March 20, 2010

"Faffing About" Creed Indeed

"Faffing About" Creed Indeed — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy Ubisoft
Yahtzee put it best. Released in 2007, Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed is a decent game with an interesting concept and good story let down by a few things that I'm going to dive into right now. This isn't really a review, though I'm filing it as such. It's more of a 'first impressions' overview because I got about three hours into the game, realized how much tedium I'd have to repeat and decided I'd finished wasting my time with it and went back to wasting my time with World of Warcraft. One of the things that I really enjoyed about the Prince of Persia games on the PS2 was the free running you could do, basically holding down two buttons in such a way that the rather charming and very human prince of thieves jumps, swings, runs and leaps across ancient palaces full of nasty traps and nastier enemies made of sand. However, you were always going from point A to B, so any sense of freedom engendered by this mode of transportation seemed to deflate once you arrived. Then again, it was also buoyed up by knowing exactly where you were going. In Assassin's Creed, you're free to run, jump, swing and fall on your face anywhere in the 11th century Holy Land you damn well please. That is if the guards aren't trying to turn you into chunky salsa. But let me back up and talk about the story. From the promotional art and trailers it seemed that the game was an action-adventure-platformer set in the aforementioned Holy Land where you play an assassin dispatching some of those dirty amoral Christians everybody loves hating so much. But Ubisoft lied to us. Assassin's Creed is really about this guy named Desmond, strapped to a table in a lab located twenty minutes into the future where an evil scientist who really isn't Dr. Breen from Half-Life 2 wants to mine the genetic memories of his 11th century ancestor, Altaiir. Now, I have to give Ubisoft props for making an action protagonist who's of Middle Eastern descent and not characterizing him as a crazed fundamental Jihadist. Then again, Altaiir was just a touch more bland and emotionless than Desmond himself, but at least he wasn't pursuing his targets the way Glenn Beck pursues anybody with a functioning frontal lobe or decent sense of morality. Ah, shit, I promised I'd keep politics & religion out of this blog, didn't I. Dammit. Anyway, the game. Altaiir is tasked with taking down a series of extremely nasty Crusaders who are making life miserable for pretty much everybody and begins to uncover an ancient battle between his people, the Assassins, and a rather well-organized secret order of amoral knights called Templars. The Templars tend to get the short end of the stick in historical fiction, big examples being Kingdom of Heaven and anything Dan Brown writes, while at other times they're actually shown to be somewhat virtuous, i.e. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Knowing some of the members of their spiritual descendants, the Freemasons, I find it hard to believe that the Templars are as dirty and horrible as some like to characterize them. However, that's the route Assassin's Creed goes, and Altaiir has quite a few pseudo-pious throats to puncture. However, there's a lot standing between you and your targets. Every time you jump into a new memory, you begin at your home base, which is at the top of a mountain far from any sort of Western civilization. While I can appreciate this from a historical perspective, as Alamut was indeed used by the Hashshashins as a refuge and fortress, walking down from the peak all the way down to the stables every single time was pretty much the definition of tedium. When you do get to the stables, you have to resist the urge to gallop off to your next target, since the Crusaders who patrol the roads of the Holy Land don't want you to hurt yourself by riding too fast, and why don't you have any papers for that horse? You need to get your horse inspected and registered every 12 months, or they'll slap you with a fine. And by 'fine' I mean 'longsword up the ass.' Anyway, so you've hiked all the way down Alamut and gotten to Jerusalem or whereever at a slightly faster pace than your own brisk walk by having your horse do a brisk walk. Time to get your stabbing on, right? Wrong! You need to 'gather intelligence'. And by 'gather intelligence' I mean 'run around doing chores at the behest of NPCs before someone will tell you where the damn target is.' You deliver messages, beat up bad guys (but without killing them, that'd summon the legions of Crusaders waiting around the corner to slay you for Jesus), sweep chimneys, walk dogs, babysit, run to the store, help little old ladies across the street and generally do everything for everybody in sight like this is an 11th-century MMOG and you're trying to grind your way up to a more impressive hood. When you finally find out where your target is, Assassin's Creed adds something to the 'good' column under 'breathtaking environments', 'intuitive free-running' and 'original story-framing idea'. You plan your route to where the target's hanging out to make sure you avoid being seen by his cronies, make your way there stealthily either by moving through the crowd or via a tricky Parkour sequence that belies the peacefulness of the scene, leap onto the bad guy and slam your retractable blade into their larynx. Awesome! But wait - the target has something to say. In fact, these guys have a lot to say. Even after you've sprung your sharp implement of holy death and driven it home, they'll clearly tell you something about the ongoing conspiracy or their apple-cheeked children or something, with nary a gurgle or spattering of blood. Are they telepathic or something? How can you soliloquize when you've got a gaping hole in your voice box? Following a successful assassination you are rubber-banded back into Desmond, who has a near-future room to hang out in between the near-future experiments on his near-future brain. And once you're strapped back into the Animus, whammo, you're back on top of Alamut again. It was around the third time that this happened that my patience for the game ran out.
"It's like you're enjoying a nice (if somewhat bland) grilled cheese sandwich livened up by intermittent lumps of Branston pickle, when someone snatches it from your mouth and replaces it with a spoonful of watery ejaculate between two peices of wood." - Yahtzee
I do consider that a bit of a shame, because Assassin's Creed had a lot going for it. The story seemed interesting and the free-running and sealth-assassining was fun, but the tedium of going from one place to another, all of the crap I had to take care of before I could stab with impunity got on my nerves and the lepers and beggars who ran up to me begging for cash really tempted me to break the first rule of the Creed, which is 'Never harm an innocent'. I harmed quite a few, only to get desynchronized (read: killed) when the Crusaders nearby jumped on me for giving the beggar a discouraging poke. With my hidden blade. In the face. This turned into a bit more of a rant than I expected, but I wanted to revisit my thoughts on Assassin's Creed because I'm playing the sequel when I'm not sinking more time into the Mass Effect universe. So how does Assassin's Creed II stack up? I'll let you know when I finish playing it. Yes, I'm going to finish it, which says something for it right there. And here's something else. You know how Yahtzee described Assassin's Creed as, at first, a nice little grilled cheese & Branston sandwich? Assassin's Creed II is, so far, the same sandwich with a nice thin layer of prosciutto added for extra deliciousness. And nobody's come to snatch it yet, which is a good thing because I love prosciutto to pieces.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Friday, March 19, 2010

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Inglorious Basterds

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Inglorious Basterds — Blue Ink Alchemy

Logo courtesy Netflix.  No logos were harmed in the creation of this banner.

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/basterds.mp3]
The 2010 Academy Awards are a fading memory. By now most of the Internet has moved on to more interesting things, like porn stars playing D&D. However, if I might indulge your attention for a few minutes, I'd like to discuss one of the films that was in contention for best of the year. Now, I don't wish to give the impression that I like The Hurt Locker any less. I still stand by everything I said in my review of that movie. However, comparing it to the film I'm about to discuss will require me to point out some things that fall on the negative side of things when it comes to Ms. Bigelow's magnum opus to date. The Hurt Locker's a fantastic film, and I'm so glad a woman won Best Director for it because she deserves the hell out of that award. But I'm not here to talk about that film again. I'm here to talk about Inglorious Basterds.
Courtesy Universal
What a bunch of basterds. The Americans can be a bit mean, too.
The film begins "once upon a time in Nazi-occupied France." This sort of phrasing is par for the course when it comes to the film's mastermind, Quentin Tarantino. I know there are a few people out there who just hear that name and immediately want to move on to something else, but bear with me, gentle readers. The trailers and adverts, for the most part, focused on the Basterds themselves, an octet of Jewish-American soldiers brought together by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) to form a covert resistance unit working behind enemy lines in France the way the Apaches worked along the frontier during America's expansion westward. This includes brutal beatings, scalpings and other means of revenge that verge on the gruesome but are somewhat palatable due to the fact that, let's face it, the Nazis are perhaps the greatest punching bags of all time. However, these boys are only part of the film's overall story, which encompasses the lives of disparate characters from all walks of life, from a Jewish refugee living incognito in Paris all the way up to der Fürher. The refugee, played excellently by Mélanie Laurent, owns a cinema that will be hosting a gala premiere of the latest Nazi war film created by infamous propagandist Joseph Goebbels, and when the guest list featuring most of the German high command is leaked to the Allies, the Basterds are tapped to provide on-the-ground support for an operation that could, if successful, alter the course of history by ending the war in a single evening. The biggest potential wrench in the works is a nefarious SS colonel played with flourish and poise by Christoph Waltz who is best known by his nickname, "The Jew Hunter."
Courtesy Universal
This was another Oscar well-deserved.
Back to Tarantino. Along with his apparent propensity for violence, he is known for taking parts of a film's plot and mixing them up at the expense of linear progression for the sake of scene construction and character-building. When we see the first chapter heading, I think some could be excused for expecting the next 'chapter' to jump ahead only to have the one following jump back. However, the plot unfolds linearly, and the pacing of the story never feels schizophrenic or even rushed. As in all of his films, Tarantino leaves his scenes long, focusing us on the characters and the situations rather than the action or spectacle. Scenes of violence, in Inglorious Basterds, are handled with brutal speed and visceral cutting, and it never feels as if Tarantino is lingering on the violence for the sake of the violence. Instead, the violence happens, as it does in war, and we move on. The violence is a means to an end, rather than an end in and of itself. While Tarantino is no stranger to violence being its own end, with Grindhouse under his belt, here as in some of his other films the violence is treated with brevity so that we can focus on perhaps the strongest aspect of his filmmaking: the characters.
Courtesy Universal
This could be Brad Pitt's funniest accent performance since Snatch.
With characters come dialog. Sometimes you can get away with establishing and building characters without it; Wall-E and Up being the best examples in recent memory. However, Tarantino is known for his dialog as much as he is for violence, if not moreso. Here, he definitely focuses on the words spoken by these characters, rather than simply their actions. Eli Roth's Sgt. Donowitz is a bit of an exception, as he conveys a great deal without speaking, but he's still part of an intricate network of characters who all have something to say. Even minor characters, like the farmer we meet in the beginning of the film and the refugee's assistant in the cinema, are given tightly-written, well-acted dialog that helps draw us into the experience. Despite the overarching theme of the film, and the ways in which the Basterds exemplify it, the characters never feel artificial or cardboard. They feel real. MovieBob has already discussed what I'm about to bring up at length, so let me just touch on it and then tie it into how I began this review. Quentin Tarantino, a man who's never been ashamed of his deep love for film of all forms but especially for "lower" forms of the medium, has created a movie that is, among other things, a treatise on the power of movies. The Basterds especially show us what sort of people are inspired by the macho heroes often shown battling evil with their bare fists on the silver screen. The naive young Nazi war hero played by Daniel Brühl comes from the other end of the spectrum, a man haunted by what he's done on the battlefield but willing to serve as that sort of macho inspiration to his country in Goebbels' film. In the midst of the audience cheering his exaggerated exploits, he is visually disturbed by both what he's seeing in the final cut and how people are reacting to it. With these characters, along with the German double-agent movie star, the British special ops soldier who's also a published film critic, and all of the references to the films of the late 30's and early 40's, Tarantino makes the mission statement of Inglorious Basterds perfectly clear.
Courtesy Universal
As much as I love the Basterds, this is your heroine. Right here.
Films are powerful things. They are often dismissed as mere escapist fodder, a waste of time and money indulged in by those with insufficient imagination to pick up a book or go for a walk instead. However, when a good filmmaker decides to tell a story in the mixed media of sound, sight, dialog and theme, a film can do more than simply wow the masses with shallow spectacle and beautiful stars. Inglorious Basterds sets out to not only tell us this is possible, but also shows us. Films can inspire, enrage and spur discussion and debate. Films can touch people from all walks of life in very different ways, and they can even change people. I'm not sure if a film has ever truly changed history the way Basterds's film-within-a-film does, but seeing this movie demonstrates how possible it really is, and speaks directly to the power of film. This brings me to why I felt it necessary to bring up the winner of the Oscar for Best Picture. The Hurt Locker is a great film, as I've mentioned on more than one occasion, but when you get right down to it, the narrative & theme are pretty straightforward. As involved as we are in the story as it happens, caught up in the visceral and intimate feel of the scenes, we're not left thinking about much beyond what we just experienced. When you stop and think about it, it wasn't overly complicated. This simplicity works for it, certainly, but beyond the lives of the characters and what it tells us about modern warfare there isn't a lot more The Hurt Locker has to say. Inglorious Basterds, on the other hand, isn't just a sprawling and involving cloak and dagger story set in World War 2, it's a thought-provoking and well-crafted exploration of the true power of film. Considering that the Academy Awards strive to celebrate and promote the power of film, when they're not playing politics or padding their ceremonies with musical numbers and extra advertisements, I'm afraid there's only one conclusion I can draw given the outcome of this year's Oscars. When it comes to the award for Best Film of 2009, Inglorious Basterds was completely and totally robbed. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Her Twenty-First

Her Twenty-First — Blue Ink Alchemy

IHOP!
In honor of my wife's birthday today, here's a bit from one of my favorite posts of hers. We're taking care of some errands and going out at least for dinner tonight, thanks to a generous gift card to our favorite restaurant. Guess what it is. Go on, guess. Enjoy this little taste of an opinionated game review peppered with swearing.

Good Game, Shitty Story: The Mass Effect Experience

Look at that title. I just summed up everything I’m about to say and I don’t even have to say it. I could stand back, look proud of myself and just let the title speak for itself.

However, I’m not. I suspect I will have hundreds of fanboys raging all over the place here if I were to, so I’ll qualify what I just said with some experiences.


For most of the fights worth a damn I used Liara and Alenko, actually.

As I said, the game itself was really good, but I feel I should qualify that too: it was really good when I was playing a Soldier. When I first started up the game, I figured I’d probably play a Soldier because I’m boring and like killing things, but after looking at the classes I figured I’d go for something I don’t usually play, and chose the mage Adept. The combat controls were confusing at first (the game arbitrarily has different movement controls for combat and non-combat), especially since you can’t zoom out, so despite it being third person I still got that “no peripheral vision” feeling that comes with first person shooters. Anyway, I quickly discovered that you can’t keybind more than one ability — despite never using the D-pad for anything the entire game — so if you want to play something that relies as much on abilities as it does on shooting things, and you’re not playing on the PC, you’d better like pausing combat. A lot.

After dealing with the flow-breaking pausing, or just ignoring it and shooting things for the entire first mission, I finally said “fuck this” and re-rolled. Maybe it’s because I could dump all my points in assault rifles since I knew I wasn’t going to use anything else, maybe it was because I’d gotten the hang of the way combat worked, but I immediately had much more fun with the Soldier and went on with the game. I did get a couple abilities throughout the game (well, “a couple” isn’t accurate, I had almost as many as Liara by the end) but most of the time I forgot they existed and just shot things till one of us died. The only ones I ever really took advantage of were my party resurrect and the one that reset all my abilities so I could use the resurrect again. These two got used a lot, too, because the entire party liked to huddle around me, and if I was behind cover, instead of going off to find their own cover nearby, they’d stand in the open near me and get killed. Despite this, the way the fights are set up I was grateful to have party members, especially later on when Kaidan and Liara both got Lift.


Lift is awesome.

As for the non-combat parts… Well. I often found it stupid that one charm speech would cause people to rethink their entire diabolical plan/career choice/life, but I guess it’s better than requiring five conversation trees of the exact same thing. There was also one thing that bothered me with the reporter coming to talk to you sidequest… I knew it was the Renegade option to tell her to fuck off, and I was going for a Paragon, but I chose it anyway because I’d previously promised Emily Wong, another reporter and recurring quest NPC, that she would be the first to get an exclusive interview. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to remember this promise because it never comes up again and everyone acts like you’re an ass for not doing the interview, and there’s no way to tell people I refused in order to keep my promise to Wong (thereby doing the right thing). Why make things like that a dialogue option at all if you’re going to assume the player will completely forget about them?

Other than hiccups like that, I really enjoyed the dialogue parts. I’m one of those OCD types who will get as much information out of an NPC as possible, which often led to spending ridiculous amounts of time chatting, though. Rarely in a game am I so eager to get back to the action after spending time in town as I was in Mass Effect.


Continue...

Blue Ink Alchemy

Her Twenty-First

Her Twenty-First — Blue Ink Alchemy

IHOP!
In honor of my wife's birthday today, here's a bit from one of my favorite posts of hers. We're taking care of some errands and going out at least for dinner tonight, thanks to a generous gift card to our favorite restaurant. Guess what it is. Go on, guess. Enjoy this little taste of an opinionated game review peppered with swearing.

Good Game, Shitty Story: The Mass Effect Experience

Look at that title. I just summed up everything I’m about to say and I don’t even have to say it. I could stand back, look proud of myself and just let the title speak for itself.

However, I’m not. I suspect I will have hundreds of fanboys raging all over the place here if I were to, so I’ll qualify what I just said with some experiences.


For most of the fights worth a damn I used Liara and Alenko, actually.

As I said, the game itself was really good, but I feel I should qualify that too: it was really good when I was playing a Soldier. When I first started up the game, I figured I’d probably play a Soldier because I’m boring and like killing things, but after looking at the classes I figured I’d go for something I don’t usually play, and chose the mage Adept. The combat controls were confusing at first (the game arbitrarily has different movement controls for combat and non-combat), especially since you can’t zoom out, so despite it being third person I still got that “no peripheral vision” feeling that comes with first person shooters. Anyway, I quickly discovered that you can’t keybind more than one ability — despite never using the D-pad for anything the entire game — so if you want to play something that relies as much on abilities as it does on shooting things, and you’re not playing on the PC, you’d better like pausing combat. A lot.

After dealing with the flow-breaking pausing, or just ignoring it and shooting things for the entire first mission, I finally said “fuck this” and re-rolled. Maybe it’s because I could dump all my points in assault rifles since I knew I wasn’t going to use anything else, maybe it was because I’d gotten the hang of the way combat worked, but I immediately had much more fun with the Soldier and went on with the game. I did get a couple abilities throughout the game (well, “a couple” isn’t accurate, I had almost as many as Liara by the end) but most of the time I forgot they existed and just shot things till one of us died. The only ones I ever really took advantage of were my party resurrect and the one that reset all my abilities so I could use the resurrect again. These two got used a lot, too, because the entire party liked to huddle around me, and if I was behind cover, instead of going off to find their own cover nearby, they’d stand in the open near me and get killed. Despite this, the way the fights are set up I was grateful to have party members, especially later on when Kaidan and Liara both got Lift.


Lift is awesome.

As for the non-combat parts… Well. I often found it stupid that one charm speech would cause people to rethink their entire diabolical plan/career choice/life, but I guess it’s better than requiring five conversation trees of the exact same thing. There was also one thing that bothered me with the reporter coming to talk to you sidequest… I knew it was the Renegade option to tell her to fuck off, and I was going for a Paragon, but I chose it anyway because I’d previously promised Emily Wong, another reporter and recurring quest NPC, that she would be the first to get an exclusive interview. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to remember this promise because it never comes up again and everyone acts like you’re an ass for not doing the interview, and there’s no way to tell people I refused in order to keep my promise to Wong (thereby doing the right thing). Why make things like that a dialogue option at all if you’re going to assume the player will completely forget about them?

Other than hiccups like that, I really enjoyed the dialogue parts. I’m one of those OCD types who will get as much information out of an NPC as possible, which often led to spending ridiculous amounts of time chatting, though. Rarely in a game am I so eager to get back to the action after spending time in town as I was in Mass Effect.


Continue...

Blue Ink Alchemy

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Alchemist mac Sláine

Alchemist mac Sláine — Blue Ink Alchemy

Slane Castle
My grandmother's maiden name was Marilyn Slane. Like Saint Patrick, the family name was anglicized (it's actually Saint Padraic if I am not mistaken) from the original Sláine. Now from what I understand, her family originated from Scotland and moved to Ireland before her parents emigrated to the United States. According to legend, however, Sláine was the family name of the first family of people to settle in Ireland after the Flood. While we're talking legends, Sláine mac Dela was apparently the first High King of Ireland. This actually would explain quite a bit, as when I was young, speaking to my grandmother often felt like having an audience with some legendary potentate. She moved in with my parents while my sisters and I were growing up, and often we were sent into the addition built for her when shenanigans were afoot. She was a pretty heavy smoker, so when that door opened wide there was a mist-like fog of Marlboro smoke surrounding her favorite recliner. We sat at her feet like peasants before a queen mother, and she lectured us with equal parts patience and somewhat blunt honesty, telling us the proper ways to behave towards our hard-working long-suffering parents, who wanted nothing more than for us to lead good lives and do them proud. Twenty years later, those lessons stay with me. I've had ups and downs in my life, times when things have been smooth sailing and times when dark and stormy waters have threatened to swallow me whole. I believe that, due at least in part to these lessons conveyed by my grandmother, I've shown respect and appreciation for those in my family who've gone before me, who've wrestled the same financial demons and trod the same fallen obstacles to get where they are. Rather than drag them down, I want to lift them up, ensuring they can move into a comfortable and proud retirement knowing they've raised their children well. So when I toast for St. Paddy's, be it tonight or this weekend, it will be my parents and my grandmother who'll be in my thoughts and in my heart. I'd like to think they've raised me well and I'm eternally and deeply grateful for that. Sorry to wax so sentimental. More on writing and stuff tomorrow.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Need To Write

The Need To Write — Blue Ink Alchemy

Concrete Blocks
"I once knew a writer who tried that route (psychoanalysis). Cured him of writing all right. But did not cure him of the need to write. The last I saw of him he was crouching in a comer, trembling. That was his good phase. But the mere sight of a wordprocessor would throw him into a fit." - Heinlein, 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls'
A dear friend of mine described the need to write as "a concrete block on [her] chest". It took time away from chores and duties to write, but every day she didn't write, another block was added until finally, under threat of her metaphorical rib cage collapsing, she threw the blocks off and wrote. I can't think of a better metaphor for this. We (that is, writers) ideally should write every day. A little or a lot, some writing should happen. And I'm not just talking about stuff like this blog post either. My wife has pointed out on multiple occasions, in the same tone of voice she uses to remind me to deal with the utilities, that writing a blog post actually takes time away from writing things that might actually end up paying me money. Not that the blog doesn't make money, it just doesn't make very much. Speaking of which, have you clicked a blog's ad today? It makes you and the blog feel good. ...That metaphor is going somewhere dirty. Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is that writers need to write. Just like programmers need to program, drivers need to drive and plumbers need to plumb. It isn't just what we do, it's who we are. It'd be easy to succumb to letting ourselves be defined by day jobs or pending bill payments or anything else the mundane world likes to throw at us. I'm not trying to say that writing is anything supernatural, though. Writing itself is pretty mundane. Writing anything more than a few hundred words can get just as tedious as any other task if you can't quite get into your groove. Getting into one's groove, however, is something that bears discussing. Probably in another post.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Monday, March 15, 2010

Caution: Bears

Caution: Bears — Blue Ink Alchemy

Sam Elliott
"Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you." It's true in many walks of life that we spend a lot of time chasing or being chased. We chase our dreams, we get chased by doubt. We chase new shiny objects, we get chased by creditors. We chase deer, we get chased by bears. Bears take many shapes. They could be an oncoming deadline, a mismanaged creditor or just the sheer bulk of a projects. We get done running from one, and just as we sit down to catch our breath, another explodes out of the woods, very cross at us for making off with its picnic basket. I may seem like I'm rambling a little bit here, but suffice it to say that things are going on in my life that are both exciting and terrifying, both stimulating and crushing, both good and bad. And I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to outrun the bears that are after me as I chase down my dragons. When it comes to this sort of thing, however, it counts to have family and friends willing to hear you out. Being alone when dealing with major sources of stress compared to having people you can rely on to at least lend an ear is the difference between running from the bear in your bare feet and running from the bear in a well-laced pair of shoes. My first patron put it this way: "You're only as alone as you choose to be." Not much to say beyond that good gold nugget of advice, I suppose. Though I do find myself thirsty for sasparilla all of a sudden.
Blue Ink Alchemy

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Maschine Zeit: "I'm gay for Twain."

Maschine Zeit: "I'm gay for Twain." — Blue Ink Alchemy

Courtesy Machine Age Productions
In Filamena's Maschine Zeit game, I've put together a completely manic and caustic combination of Hunter S. Thompson and Spider Jerusalem. One of the groups in the game, the Independent Media, operates under the collective moniker of "S.L. Clemins" as a measure of protection. This guy, though? Don't go in for that. (Warning: adult language incoming.) [spoiler]
You want to know about the stations? Let me tell you about the stations. They're the gift that keeps on giving. Earth has an overpopulation problem? Build stations & fill them with warm human bodies. Gamma-ray burst blow across the planet without making anybody Hulk out? Say the stations protected people and thus justified the investment of money and blood required to put them up. Still having energy problems? Stations have magic metal that'll fix it. Ghost hunters running out of prisons and castles? Hey, the stations have ghosts too! As far as I'm concerned, the stations are, have been and always will be so many tons of next-generation bullshit at the end of really, really long tethers. It's the only reason they haven't stinking up the planet. I mean, yeah, we had to get some people off of the surface. We had way too many people and way too little usable space & consumable resources. Of course none of the old methods would go over that well with most governments. You ever try pitching the idea of putting a bunch of people from a given nationality or ethnicity into a little room and filling it with gas, for example? They'd tell you to go fuck yourself, and rightly so. For one thing, gunning people down's a lot more fun. What it boils down to is that everything about the stations is a lie. "This will solve the overpopulation problem." They didn't. "They're completely safe." Well, obviously they fucking aren't. And now we're to believe there's magic metal up there and that it's protected by ghosts? I'm as inclined to believe that as I am that the reason the stations came to be in the first place was a natural occurrence. Basic premise of the world, folks: Everybody's full of shit. I'm full of shit, you're full of shit, and the corporate goons who sent all those good people to die up there are definitely full of shit. Maybe there really are ghosts on the stations. Maybe it's one hell of a mass hallucination. Either way, it's something I won't buy stock in unless I get to see it myself. Not that I've got any chance of that. My last four steady jobs all ended because people who once considered themselves sponsors of mine, if not employers, did something embarrassing, tried to cover it up and got fucked over a cactus because they insisted on hiding it from one of the most annoying and thorough investigative journalists who ever stuck a cigarette in his shit-spewer and asked the hard fucking questions: Me. I'm willing to entertain any theory about what's happening up there, how things got up there and what the future holds. Just don't throw a fucking hissy fit when I point out how illogical, unsubstantiated or thoroughly retarded your theory might be. Throw 'em at me, Internet, and I'll knock 'em out of the park and when they break your mom's window I'll do more than go in there after it. If you get my meaning. And I'm sure you do. By the way, guys, it's "Clemens." Samuel Langhorne fucking Clemens. Sure, all of you can be friends with this 'Clemins' guy, but me? I'm Samuel Langhorne fucking Clemens' secret gay lover. And he really hates people misspelling his name. I really respect the work he's done. The work you all have been doing? Eh, it's hit or miss. You'll be hearing more from me, especially if you folks have the balls to throw ideas my way. You've got nothing to be afraid of, unless you're afraid of me fucking you in the ass. I mean, if you're all S.L. Clemins, you're close enough for my tastes, and let me assure you, I'm very, very gay for Twain.
[/spoiler]
Blue Ink Alchemy