Going To My Corner

Going To My Corner — Blue Ink Alchemy

When I get really serious about writing, when it's "crunch time" for an assignment or I feel I really need to bang out some words on The Project, I head over to my corner. Like a carpenter's workbench or a mechanic's tool chest, my corner is a place I've set aside to work on writing and nothing else. The PC runs Word, Notepad++ and little else, as the hardware is a bit on the older side and I don't want to tax it. I even have a separate CD player for music. My work is saved on a USB drive so I don't have to worry about any sort of hard drive mis-reads or other catastrophic failures. But one of the best things about the corner is its isolation. I'm not just talking about its distance from the couch, the television and the gaming consoles, though that is a factor. The PC in the corner is not hooked up to the Internet. As much as it might be necessary to research something on occasion, when I want to put myself in the writing zone, it's best to minimize my distractions. Heck, it's taken me a while to put this little blog post together, and I've been planning on hitting 10k on the Project since last Sunday...

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Game Review: The Adventure of Link

Game Review: The Adventure of Link — Blue Ink Alchemy

Runner-Up in Review Wars II, over at the Escapist.

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The first of many sword-in-the-ground opening screens. I cherished my golden cartridges as a child. The original Legend of Zelda was one of the first Nintendo games we owned and I played it like it was going out of style. My sisters and I mapped out every dungeon for each other, as this was back in the days before GameFAQs or the Internet or internal combustion. It was innovative and challenging, and when a sequel was announced the children in the house were understandably excited. This was, as I've intimated, a more innocent time before I realized how disappointing sequels could be when they simply retread the ground covered by the first installment - but even now, I'd have been impressed by it.
Ten-year-old me: "This is a Zelda game? GNARLY!" Instead of rehashing the top-down interface of the first game, the designers took it in a different direction, a similar direction to Castlevania. The Adventure of Link is a side-scrolling adventure-RPG, full of the familiar foes from the first games seen from this new perspective. I had no idea moblins were taller than Link. Anyway, replacing the sub-items such as the boomerang and bombs is a magic system, and Link has moves at his disposal other than "slash" and "toss my sword with power." Other than that, there's dungeons that need to be conquered in a specific order, a mysterious Big Bad at the end of it all and a damsel in distress named Zelda who needs rescuing.

Stuff I Didn't Like

Wait, what? Already?

• There's a 'lives' system. It's perhaps the most frustrating thing in the entire game, considering that neither the first game nor any one following had one, for good reason. In the first game, when Link got rocked, he'd be sent back to the beginning of the dungeon or the starting point in the overworld map. Here, there are 'checkpoints' that exist within the dungeons and the overworld encounters that will put you back to the start of the current room or scene. But being sent back to that checkpoint after stabbity death or being set on fire costs you one of your three lives. Once they're gone, the game is over and you have to start from the beginning. While you're able to continue so you don't lose special items or experience gained, spending hours slogging through mazes only to lose your last life just as you're about to down that frustrating boss can require a herculean effort to choose "Continue" instead of "Fuck This."
• You can find little 1-Up dolls scattered throughout the world to help the lives situation, but there are two problems with this. First of all, unlike the heart and magic containers that permenantly boost the amount of life or magic you have, the 1-Up dolls do not permanently increase your total number of lives. They just give you an extra life to be snatched away by a jerkass Ironknuckle or a misjudged jump. Secondly, some of the dolls are on obtainable after a long sojourn across the world and fighting legions of creatures that might possibly lose you one of your lives anyway. So these, like the lives system to which they are related, are completely arbitrary.

Stuff I Liked

I hate fighting Ironknucles. I don't hate them, just fighting them.

• This game is challenging. The Ironknuckle enemies in particular can be a real struggle, and in some case come across as more challenging than some of the 'boss' characters. There are a couple bosses you can defeat just by jumping repeatedly on their head (provided you have the 'downthrust' maneuver) and Ironknuckles will just raise their sheilds as you sit there hopping up and down on them like a flea on a hot griddle. What I like about these foes and the overall difficulty curve of this game is that it's consistent, gradual and, as I said, challenging.
• Like the previous game, the 'temples' are laid out in a fairly linear fashion that help you figure out where to go next. The map is vast, and the environments are varied but it doesn't get confusing. Like many modern games, the optional items ('side quests' if you will) require a little digging, but the construction of the temples and their connection act as a guide on their own without the need for a FAQ or online guide - neither of which existed in 1989.

Stuff I Loved

Yes. Yes you are.

• This was the first Zelda game and one of the first console RPGs to have NPCs that gave information, support and even quests as you progressed through the game. Instead of defeating just destroying monsters to earn new powers, you need to do some tasks that might seem menial to learn new magic spells. Some of the inhabitants of the town are interested in helping you while others just want to go about their business. And some young ladies even invite Link into their homes to restore his health. Of course older women do it too, so it's not as sexy as it sounds.
• There are some good musical bits in this game, for a relic of the 8-bit era. The temple music in particular stands out. It's been recycled a couple times for the Smash Brothers franchise, and it's some of my favorite music from the Zelda series.
• Despite being laid out completely differently from the original Zelda, it feels like high fantasy adventure through and through. It established a lot of the tropes similar games follow to this day, and actually holds up after all of the years. I recently fired it up through the collector's edition on the GameCube, and it wasn't just nostalgia that had me enjoying it. To this day, it's a solidly built, engrossing, challenging and very fun game.

Bottom Line: If you find yourself frustrated by the convoluted plots and overhyped CG of modern games, fire up the Adventure of Link. It's a refreshing trip down memory lane that's still a blast to play.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Wanted

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Wanted — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/wanted.mp3] I think it's safe to say that just about anything can be adapted into a film. Even in this little obscure corner of the Internet, quite a few adaptations have been reviewed as they've passed through my mailbox or browser. Starship Troopers is the adaptation of a novel. The Mutant Chronicles adapted a tabletop role-playing game. In The Name of the King had something to do with the video game Dungeon Siege . ...I think. These adaptations run the gamut of being generally faithful to their source material, to preserving the spirit of the original while rewriting a good portion of it for one reason or another, to bending the franchise over a rail and gleefully going to town while making obscene gestures at the fan base. Wanted falls into that middle category, adapting a comic book for the big screen in way that might not be terribly recognizable to the comic's fans but is still charged with enough of the original's spirit to not descend into an incoherent disappointing mess. Like X-Men: The Last Stand did. I still have nightmares...
If anything can disperse the aforementioned nightmares, it's this. 'Wanted' indeed. Wanted was a short-run comic book series penned by Mark Millar about a down-on-his-luck office schlub named Wesley Gibson who has his hum-drum life of corporate drudgery interrupted by a sexy foul-mouthed assassin named Fox who informs him that his father, the greatest killer of super-beings who ever lived (appropriately dubbed 'The Killer') has died and left his son a substantial fortune. To earn it, Wesley must embrace his destiny of super-villainy, overcome years of self-deprecation that anybody who spends any time in a cubicle can tell you is a side-effect of office work and kill a whole lot of super-heroes. There are a lot of super-powers thrown around the pages of Wanted, but Wesley's power is, simply, making people stop breathing. With bullets. Lots and lots of bullets. The film adaptation does away with the super-hero motif, making it more a straight-forward badass action flick and less an examination of what a super-powered world would be like if the super-villains had won the seemingly endless struggle between good and evil. Wesley is still an office schlub, Fox is still hot, and there are still lots and lots of bullets. However, instead of joining a fraternity of super-villains, Wes joins a fraternity of assassins who use their work to ensure the tapestry of fate does not come apart at the seams. They get their orders from a magic loom. And no, I have no idea how that thing works.
I wish I looked that good working a desk job. Much like the comic book, this movie is less about the "what" and more about the "who." Wesley as a protagonist is someone with whom just about anybody can relate, and like his blonde comic-book counterpart, we actually find ourselves cheering for him as he breaks free of his corporate shackles, learns to curve bullets and embarks on a journey to discover who he really is, because that quiet mousy pushover in that cubicle is not him, or who he wants to be. This journey of self-discovery is a bit more violent than most, but it's still a journey worth taking. The other thing Wanted has going for it are moments that worked just as well in the comics as they do on the screen. There's the moment where Wesley shoots the wings off of flies, moments where he lashes out against his co-workers, the moment where his pseudo-mentor Morgan Freeman drops the F-bomb and the moment where Angelina Jolie as Fox walks around dressed only in her tattoos. Some new elements that take the place of super-villainy have moments of their own, like the moment where Wesley curves a bullet for the first time or uses a car in a very interesting way to get a shot on his target. They're the kind of moments that make me smile, even upon reflection.
Angelina Jolie and the luckiest car in the world. The biggest problem Wanted suffers from is that these moments are not necessarily directly related to one another. They are, instead, strung together with a plot that has all of the tensile strength and cohesion as a slightly frayed string of dental floss. In losing the super-powers, Wanted also lost a lot of its color and charm. The graphic novel had me rolling or cheering just about every other page. The film manages a few laughs and a smile or two, but isn't quite the same. It is, in essence, the generic corner store version of your favorite soda pop - it's still fizzy and tastes kind of similar, but you can tell the difference.
Seriously, hearing 'Red' drop his Precision F-Strike on us is worth the price of admission. Wanted wavers a bit on the line between recommended watching and something you should skip. What puts it just barely in the positive column is the very self-aware nature of the film. Unlike some other adaptations out there, it's ashamed of neither its source material nor the idea of taking the piss out of itself. Cleolinda Jones, in the preface to her Wanted in 15 Minutes, says that this film is "outrageous and stupid and funny and knows it". James McEvoy is having just as much fun here as he did playing Mr. Tumnus in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, if not more. Of course, in Narnia he didn't have the chance to make out with Angelina Jolie. I had fun watching Wanted, and reading the graphic novel again afterward was even more fun in light of this adaptation, which makes it a success for me and earns a recommendation. It's not the greatest badass action film out there - Shoot 'Em Up is a better self-parody of the genre - nor is it the best comic book adaptation film to date. That honor belongs to Iron Man and the only thing endangering it is coming out on May 7th. Because if anything is going to dethrone Iron Man, it isn't going to be Wanted - it'll be Iron Man 2. And I cannot wait for that. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Card Revisited

Card Revisited — Blue Ink Alchemy

It's been brought to my attention that, in a previous post, I might come off as somewhat unkind to Orson Scott Card. That certainly wasn't my intent. I've only read a few of his works, but I admit that what I've read so far has impressed me. Here's why.

Ender's Game

As far as I'm aware, this is pretty much Card's seminal work. The presentation of the Battle School, Ender's struggle as a 'Third', the characterization of Peter and the way in which the story ended broke a few rules and wrote some new ones. I recommend that anybody interested in writing speculative fiction in either the short or long form read this book if they haven't already. It's full of realistic characters, a well-realized future for humanity that's within reason, and some pretty riveting conversation. Ender's one very intense kid.

Enchantment

Orson Scott Card probably isn't a name that springs to mind when you think of period romance or high adventure. However, Enchantment does a very good job of blending these elements. It's Sleeping Beauty meets A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court with the legend of Baba Yaga mixed in for good measure. Along the lines of Ender's Game, this is well worth the reading if you're a fan of or interested in writing fantasy stories or romances.

Ultimate Iron Man

Marvel's Ultimate universe is a darker, grittier version of the one with which most are familiar. In that universe, Tony Stark isn't just a genius, he's a genius with his brain matter distributed evenly throughout his body. The downside of this is that he has nearly constant pain from contact with everything around him due to the over-stimulation of his neural tissue. Card pens the two mini-series (also available as graphic novels) that bring us through his difficult birth and childhood through the early uses of the Iron Man armor that place him, along with Captain America and Thor, among the ranks of the Ultimates, which is what that universe called their Avengers. Card's pacing and powerful dialog are here along with some striking artwork. So yeah, he's sparing in his descriptions. That's because the room is taken up with awesome characterization and conversations. Ignore his politics. Focus on his prose. It's worth reading.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Movies in 15 Minutes

Movies in 15 Minutes — Blue Ink Alchemy

Okay, ignore Vader in this one. I want to talk about Cleolinda's Movies in 15 Minutes. Here goes. *ahem* GO READ IT. Seriously. Why are you still here? I have nothing to say today. I have a complete and total lack of energy and the day's not at all gone well. So go read something that'll cheer you up instead of depressing you. That's what I'm doing. Here, let me make some friendly suggestions: See here it all began with Van Helsing in 15 Minutes ("Bite my patchwork ass.") Plenty of love for shippers in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in 15 Minutes ( "OUTTA MY WAY, PLEBE, IT'S MY TURN ON THE HORSYBIRD!") Hop across the pond for V for Vendetta in XV Minutes ("What if my crazy gets you home safe and unraped?") Visit lovely SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA with 300 in Fifteen Minutes ("Can you make do with a party hat?") Witness the horror, the HORROR that she isn't making up in Twilight in Fifteen Minutes (No, really. She IS NOT MAKING THIS UP.) Double the horror, double your fun in her latest, New Moon in Fifteen Minutes ("Warm your hands at my chestular fires, baby") So yeah. Read Cleo's work, friend her on LJ, follow her on Twitter. She's awesome. As for me, this day sucks, bring on another one with less suck, the end.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Describing Description

Describing Description — Blue Ink Alchemy

I know a few people who don't agree with Confused Matthew's opinions on movies, even if he has good points to make. But one thing that took me aback was how much I appreciated him pointing out that 2001: A Space Odyssey didn't really do much in a narrative sense. Oh, it was masterfully shot and the attention to detail is peerless. This is Kubrick we're talking about, after all. But the first ten minutes of the film have been described by Matthew as the following: "...Landscape." He shows a shot from the film and says that no less than a dozen times. Kubrick is describing the Dawn of Man, but he goes to laborious lengths doing so. It's a good way to illustrate how not to over-illustrate, especially when it comes to words. But can you get away with telling a story that has no description whatsoever? Let's find out.

Don't Describe

J.R.R. Tolkien is a legendary author for a good reason. He practically defined the high fantasy genre as we know it. And he did so with rather large novels. Most of his books are spent describing the people, places and events of Middle-Earth, and a lot of that description is drier than a Jacob's Creme cracker in the middle of Death Valley. He got away with it because he was pretty much the first in his field. Your story needs to move. Your characters need to speak, act, shoot bullets from their guns and knock boots. Events need to change history, shape nations and alter landscapes. How are these things going to happen if you stop to describe something? That's right, they won't. It's like one of those big, nasty sharks that prowl the deep waters. If the story stops moving, it'll suffocate. It won't happen quickly, either. It'll creep up on you. Stop to describe someone or something, even for a moment, and the next thing you know the story's belly-up. Dead in the water.

Don't Not Describe

Let's talk about another relatively well-known author: Orson Scott Card. He doesn't describe shit. His writing moves right along from one point to the next without stopping to even flesh out his characters in words other than the occasional mention of an ethnicity. Can you get away with this? Maybe, if you're dealing with a mainstream or even slightly known genre. If you're trying to pioneer a concept, get something new off of the ground, chances are you're going to be inventing something. And your readers won't know what this invention is unless you describe it. If you must describe something, be sparing in your description. Get the basics down and move on. Like everything else you write, the less you linger on something the better. You don't want conversations or chase scenes or lovemaking to bang on and on for page after page. The same goes for your descriptions. Remember that whole "story belly-up in the water" image I conjured a couple paragraphs ago? Keep that in mind.

Description or Lack Thereof is Irrelevant

Remember that a good story is about something. You probably have a theme or purpose in mind for it. If you don't, you probably should. Once you do there needs to be one cardinal question asked, not just about descriptions but also about dialog, action, even jokes. How does it serve the story as a whole? Sure, your house made out of bread might be awesome. But what does it matter in the grand scheme of your tale? Why should the reader care? If they shouldn't, leave it out. But if you want to try something new, and a reader may not have a frame of reference, use a sparing description. Illustrate the basics with a few choice words and then get the hell on with the good stuff. The more focused you are on the important things in your narrative, the more focused your reader will be. And everybody will be happier as a result.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Regarding Halo (Delayed)

Regarding Halo (Delayed) — Blue Ink Alchemy

I originally had a post here that wasn't written very well and was full of failure, so until I can properly articulate my feelings on first person shooters in general and Halo in particular, here's a picture of my cat looking at some snow.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Regarding Halo (Delayed)

Regarding Halo (Delayed) — Blue Ink Alchemy

I originally had a post here that wasn't written very well and was full of failure, so until I can properly articulate my feelings on first person shooters in general and Halo in particular, here's a picture of my cat looking at some snow.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Ten Rules For Writing Fiction: My Turn

Ten Rules For Writing Fiction: My Turn — Blue Ink Alchemy

Well, everybody's doing it, it seems. No, not that, that's dirty. I'm talking about this whole "Ten Rules For Writing Fiction" thing. This article got writers thinking about it, and some others - most notably the Magic Talking Beardhead - have taken it upon themselves to write up their own. Which leaves me feeling compelled to put up my own.
See this bandwagon? I'm jumping on. Well, why the hell not? I pretend to know what I'm doing half of the time, might as well go all the way. There's no point in putting your hand up a girl's shirt if you're not going to try & unfasten her bra too. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, writing rules. Like all rules, they're made to be broken, or even ignored. But, by and large, especially when it comes to The Project, here's the few semi-strict guidelines I find myself following.

1. The only way to write is to start, and once you start you need to finish.
2. If something feels boring or dry for you to write, it'll be boring or dry to read.
3. Don't be afraid to hurt your characters. It creates drama and helps them grow. They'll thank you when they're done cursing you out.
4. Kill your characters only when absolutely necessary. Much more conflict is generated by mercy than by murder.
5. Keep descriptions to a minimum. Painting with words is fine in poetry, not so much in prose. Set the scene and move on.
6. Time is precious for both you and your reader. Don't waste it.
7. Your theme might grow from your characters or your characters from the theme, but either way, your story needs to be about something other than itself.
8. A little subtlety goes a long way. Let conversations and narratives build towards greater things later in the tale.
9. Have resources on which to fall back if you get stuck. Story & Character Bibles, friends, beloved novels, a bottle of whiskey, whatever.
10. Don't stop writing 'til the writing's done. Or you pass out. Even then, when you come to, start writing again.

There you have it. Now you can have at it, if you so desire. That's what the comments section is for, after all. Well, that, and helping me pretend people are interested in what I write.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Regarding Halo

Regarding Halo — Blue Ink Alchemy

The follow contains mostly my personal opinion and can probably be disregarded. The game Halo and I have something of a history. I grew up with shooters in one hand and space flight sims & strategy games in the other. When I was fed up with the politicing of my AI opponents in Master of Orion and had rescued humanity from the clutches of the Kilrathi in Wing Commander, I fired up Wolfenstein 3-D or Doom. Now, neither of those games had anything approaching a complex narrative - "here are some Nazis/demons, go shoot them in the face" about sums it up - but this was long before motion capture, voice acting and model rendering had gotten to the point that video games could call their experiences "cinematic" with a straight face. When I first played Halo, I liked it. I liked its control schemes, I liked its portrayal of the conflict between humanity and the Covenant, I liked the mystery behind the Halo itself, and I liked Cortana - spunky AIs always appeal to me. I played multiplayer with a few friends. Even after a couple years, when I found out a place I was working was maintaining its own Halo server, I jumped in. Unfortunately, my boss never showed up. I played Halo 2 once, just to try and get the story. And while there were a couple "HOLY SHIT!" moments during the cutscenes, the gameplay felt vastly unchanged. Characters returned but really didn't grow at all. To me it felt like it did what most sequels tend to do. It tried to simply maintain a level of quality that, while high, wasn't really all that fantastic. By this point, Half-Life 2 had come along and, in my opinion, completely blown Halo 2 out of the water. Again, it was fun to play split-screen with a couple of friends. But that was about the extent of my experience. I haven't played Halo 3 so I really can't comment on it. Same for Halo: ODST. But if they're anything like their predecessors, they'll be shooters that are pretty much baseline in terms of combat balance, diversity of weapons and vehicle sections. I just don't think the Halo series is anything earth-shakingly revolutionary. There are some who'd disagree, and I will maintain that people are entitled to their opinions. What really irritates me about the Halo series has less to do with the games themselves and more the atmosphere surrounding them in terms of reception and advertising. Reviewers love these games. Personally I prefer something like BioShock or Mass Effect, and when I get the urge to hearken back to the days of simpler shooters, Painkiller and Ultimate Doom lurk on my hard drive. But the advertisements for and attitude towards each new installment of Halo would have you believe that you will not have an experience even remotely resembling what you get out of that game. It sort of reminds me of a wine called Yellow Tail. Yellow Tail is a mass-produced wine specifically designed to be sold at a reduced cost and be more palatable to most pedestrian drinkers than those who have discovered a particular pinot or cabarnet that they enjoy. I've tried Yellow Tail, and while it's drinkable, it isn't as good as wine from a vineyard. The advertisements for it, on the other hand, would have you believe that Yellow Tail is the sort of wine that tastes delicious, leaves you plenty of money for expensive aperitifs and will probably get you laid. Based on this scheme, Yellow Tail rakes in the cash, much like Halo does. The original Halo did its shooting very well, had great vehicle sections that were fun to do with others and even had something resembling a story to tell. I feel that as the series goes on, there's less story happening while the amount of gameplay and features remain largely the same. I could be wrong, but it doesn't stop Halo in general and a generous portion of its fanbase from bothering me. Maybe if I pick up the Halo games for my wife and take some time to play them myself again I can form a more solid opinion on the matter. But that'd require money. And I need my money for other things. Like food.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Regarding Halo

Regarding Halo — Blue Ink Alchemy

The follow contains mostly my personal opinion and can probably be disregarded. The game Halo and I have something of a history. I grew up with shooters in one hand and space flight sims & strategy games in the other. When I was fed up with the politicing of my AI opponents in Master of Orion and had rescued humanity from the clutches of the Kilrathi in Wing Commander, I fired up Wolfenstein 3-D or Doom. Now, neither of those games had anything approaching a complex narrative - "here are some Nazis/demons, go shoot them in the face" about sums it up - but this was long before motion capture, voice acting and model rendering had gotten to the point that video games could call their experiences "cinematic" with a straight face. When I first played Halo, I liked it. I liked its control schemes, I liked its portrayal of the conflict between humanity and the Covenant, I liked the mystery behind the Halo itself, and I liked Cortana - spunky AIs always appeal to me. I played multiplayer with a few friends. Even after a couple years, when I found out a place I was working was maintaining its own Halo server, I jumped in. Unfortunately, my boss never showed up. I played Halo 2 once, just to try and get the story. And while there were a couple "HOLY SHIT!" moments during the cutscenes, the gameplay felt vastly unchanged. Characters returned but really didn't grow at all. To me it felt like it did what most sequels tend to do. It tried to simply maintain a level of quality that, while high, wasn't really all that fantastic. By this point, Half-Life 2 had come along and, in my opinion, completely blown Halo 2 out of the water. Again, it was fun to play split-screen with a couple of friends. But that was about the extent of my experience. I haven't played Halo 3 so I really can't comment on it. Same for Halo: ODST. But if they're anything like their predecessors, they'll be shooters that are pretty much baseline in terms of combat balance, diversity of weapons and vehicle sections. I just don't think the Halo series is anything earth-shakingly revolutionary. There are some who'd disagree, and I will maintain that people are entitled to their opinions. What really irritates me about the Halo series has less to do with the games themselves and more the atmosphere surrounding them in terms of reception and advertising. Reviewers love these games. Personally I prefer something like BioShock or Mass Effect, and when I get the urge to hearken back to the days of simpler shooters, Painkiller and Ultimate Doom lurk on my hard drive. But the advertisements for and attitude towards each new installment of Halo would have you believe that you will not have an experience even remotely resembling what you get out of that game. It sort of reminds me of a wine called Yellow Tail. Yellow Tail is a mass-produced wine specifically designed to be sold at a reduced cost and be more palatable to most pedestrian drinkers than those who have discovered a particular pinot or cabarnet that they enjoy. I've tried Yellow Tail, and while it's drinkable, it isn't as good as wine from a vineyard. The advertisements for it, on the other hand, would have you believe that Yellow Tail is the sort of wine that tastes delicious, leaves you plenty of money for expensive aperitifs and will probably get you laid. Based on this scheme, Yellow Tail rakes in the cash, much like Halo does. The original Halo did its shooting very well, had great vehicle sections that were fun to do with others and even had something resembling a story to tell. I feel that as the series goes on, there's less story happening while the amount of gameplay and features remain largely the same. I could be wrong, but it doesn't stop Halo in general and a generous portion of its fanbase from bothering me.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Game Review: BioShock 2

Game Review: BioShock 2 — Blue Ink Alchemy

"Somewhere... beyond the sea, somewhere... waiting for me..." I mentioned in my review of the first BioShock that Rapture is a living, breathing entity. One of the biggest impressions made by its sequel is that the underwater city didn't just up and disappear after the conclusion of the first game. Rapture marched on without us, and when we return to it, the city is both instantly recognizable and possessed with the feeling that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. ...Okay, Rapture wasn't that great a place to live to begin with, at least when we're first introduced to it. But whereas in the first game the Splicers felt like a disorganized and individualistic mob of gibbering pseudo-zombies driven mad by their psychic powers, here they have been given purpose, direction and even promises of redemption. There are still forces struggling to control Rapture and maintain the flow of the precious material known as ADAM that functions as the life-blood of the city. Into this volatile mix of elements comes Subject Delta, a prototype Big Daddy awakened from hibernation. Unlike the other not-so-gentle giants, Delta can use plasmids and shares a bond with a particular Little Sister. Like Jack, the protagonist of the first game, we as Delta are presented with both overarching obstacles to overcome and the means, through our choices and actions (or inactions), to change Rapture forever. Since the introduction of Something in the Sea, I was looking forward to this release. The first game did a fantastic job building atmosphere, telling a story and actually having underlying themes and concepts that extended the game beyond yet another exercise in shooting bullets at things until they fall down. So how did the sequel fare?

Stuff I Didn't Like

"What's that? There's a lack of innovation? NOOOOOOOO!" BioShock, for all of its echoes of, callbacks to and inspiration from System Shock 2, broke new ground in the realm of console shooters. Its narrative complexity, philosophical grounding and unique aesthetic set it head and shoulders above others in the genre, most of whom are trying to capture the money-making magic of Halo. BioShock 2 feels much less innovative. While there isn't anything wrong with taking what worked in a successful title and attempting to improve it, the feeling that we've been here before can water the enthusiasm of the player somewhat. The first half of the game, beyond the novelty of Delta's abilities as a Big Daddy, feel awfully similar to most of the preceding title. There's something about the story's structure and pacing that feels somewhat "safe", at least at first. It's difficult for me to fully articulate why this bothered me. Reinventing the wheel isn't necessary when making a sequel, after all. Anyway, the only thing persistent from the first game that really continued to bug me as I played was the knowledge that what Yahtzee calls "that side-tracking shit" was going to get pulled on me any time the objective at hand seemed simple to complete. In fact, my wife and I both quoted the Zero Punctuation review of BioShock many, many times as I played through. The main antagonist in BioShock 2 is female which makes it feel even more like she's SHODAN with skin on. Again, this is a minor complaint, and to be honest it's really the only complaint I can make.

Stuff About Which I'm Ambivalent

A new section in my reviews. Shocking, no? So I dove into the multiplayer that I spent some time saying we didn't need and I'm ambivalent about it. I don't love it but I'm also a bit surprised in that I don't loathe it. As much as I appreciate its attempt to mix up the online shooter formula with trials, unlockable loadouts & items and something that vaguely resembles a story available through your apartments' radio announcements and audio logs, it's still an online shooter. There's some fun to be had as you combine plasmids with firearms and especially when you stumble across a Big Daddy suit, but I stand by my initial feeling that it's a little tacked on.

Stuff I Liked

Gives new meaning to the phrase "Drill, baby, drill." First of all, you're a Big Daddy. You're a towering, ponderous, super-strong giant in an armored diving suit and your melee weapon of choice is a huge drill. There's nothing about this concept I don't like. Now, if you'll recall, in the first BioShock Big Daddies can be taken down by either our silent protagonist or a mob of Splicers. What differentiates you from those other unfortunate Big Daddies is the fact you have (at least I'm hoping) a functional frontal lobe. Tactics actually come into play in this game beyond "chase down the bad guys and set them on fire", which is something I'll discuss in the next section. The slight changes to the weapons loadout work well. Having the drill & rivet gun definitely add to the "You're a Big Daddy now" feeling, and wielding a double-barreled shotgun made me wonder how Bruce Campbell would fare in this situation. A chainsaw isn't that far removed from a drill, after all. Anyway, there's also the fact that you can use your plasmids at the same time as your other weapons, which not only saves time in switching from one to the other but also allows for some of that creative thinking stuff. The game actually rewards you for being creative and switching things up with the research bonuses. While the voice-acting isn't quite as immersive as that of the first BioShock, it's still quite good, especially when it comes to the characters of Eleanor and Alex. I'll stop my train of thought at that station because I don't want to spoil it for you. Finally, the plumbing system from the first game is replaced with a much more straightforward mini-game for hacking. Unlike the replacement systems for decryption and bypasses in Mass Effect 2, it's far less tedious and a bit more challenging to hack something, and it's quite rewarding when you pull a hack off while under enemy fire.

Stuff I Loved

...Oh God. "You might stop fearing death," said a member of TV Tropes about the games Vita-Chambers, "but that doesn't stop you from being afraid." No character drives this point home more than the Big Sisters. Originally planned to be a single recurring villain, the Big Sister is an extremely elite sort of antagonistic creature that really, really doesn't like you messing with her pint-sized dress-wearing barefoot counterparts. Unlike the huge and often passive Big Daddies, Big Sisters actively seek you out, chasing you through Rapture and using combinations of lithe acrobatics, highly evolved plasmids and a wicked sword-like ADAM extraction needle to encourage you to stop. The knowledge that you can pop out of a Vita-Chamber nearby after she hands you a severe ass-kicking never stops the blood-curdling screech they emit as they track you down from being terrifying. The game tells you to "Prepare yourself" when the Big Sister is coming for you. Thankfully you can channel your fear into those preparations by laying traps, hacking security systems and loading up on more effective ammunition. BioShock 2 rewards creative thinking, as I've said, and this includes setting up some very nasty surprises for enemies coming your way. Both when dealing with a Big Sister and watching over an adopted Little Sister as she gathers ADAM from a corpse, the best way to ensure your survival and conserve your resources is to examine the area, plot out possible routes of approach and trap them accordingly. The dead strewn about Rapture lets you pick and choose where your gathering operations take place, and on more than one occasion I'd come into a room with a vent and smile, because I knew exactly where I'd be meeting the Big Sister. This didn't make the experience of fighting them less harrowing, for me, and I played on Normal difficulty. I suspect future playthroughs will have me cursing more and voiding myself less when the screaming Big Sister comes at me out of a haze of fire and terror. This brings me to the Little Sisters. Maybe my paternal instincts kick in hardcore when I see one. Maybe the team at 2K have really made them more sympathetic over the years. Maybe I'm just a pussy. However, when the Little Sister looks up from the broken body of "Mr. Bubbles" only to smile brightly at you, and in some cases hop up and down excitedly ("Are we going to be together now, Daddy?"), there's no way in hell I can bring myself to tear them apart for the sake of holding a flailing sea slug in my hand. And killing Little Sisters, besides guaranteeing one of the games 'bad' endings, would deprive you of some very funny and rather heartwarming lines of dialog. For example, carry a Little Sister on your shoulders, then zap a Splicer with the Electro Bolt plasmid and/or pelt them with bullets from the machine gun. "Look, Daddy!" the Little Sister cries with glee. "He's dancing!" And if you're in the middle of a gathering operation, and one of the Splicers gets to your Little Sister, rush over with your drill in full spin. As you reduce the would-be pederast to little bloody chunks, the Little Sister proclaims "Nobody messes with my daddy!" Finally, there's the "Daddy? You always save me from the monsters" line when you pick her up after a harrowing battle, and the very soft and heart-felt "Thank you" spoken to you after some of them crawl into their vents after being rescued. Again, maybe it's just me. Maybe you'll go into this game with the intent to rip every single one of these toddling terrors to shreds. That's your call. For me, protecting and rescuing the Little Sisters added depth to the game and really pulled me into the experience. We learn a lot more about them, what they go through in the rather horrific process that creates them and how they see Rapture. Especially after those experiences, harvesting them for their parasites rather than setting them free seems as cruel an act as anything perpetuated by the game's villains. BioShock 2 isn't just BioShock with a fresh coat of paint and a few cool new weapons. It's not entirely different, either, and if you haven't played the first game you might feel a bit lost, confused or even disinterested. Fans of the first game are in for a treat, and while it doesn't really push the envelope in any way, it does what the first game did very well and, in some cases, better. In a world where sequels are often an ever-extending litany of disappointments in light of the original title, BioShock 2 does what good sequels always should. Bottom Line: You may want to play the first game before picking this one up. But even if you don't, in my opinion, it's worth your time, it's fun to play and it still tells a good story that has something going on besides loud gunplay and teabagging. Buy it.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Sneakers

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Sneakers — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/sneakers.mp3] If some of the screenwriters and directors in Hollywood are to be believed, computers are magical devices. Hook yours up to a wall socket, type really fast, and hey presto, the Pentagon's your bitch. Some hackers out there are so good they can do this while being held at gunpoint, or shall we say 'pleasured' by a hot blonde or even both. Of course, computer networks really don't work like that, especially high-profile governmental and military targets. It takes quite a few elements to breach the security of even pedestrian marks such as banks and research labs, from tapping phone lines to bluffing your way past the front desk. For a great cinematic example of how this sort of thing really works, as well as one that ages well, look no further than a little 1996 film called Sneakers. When he was in college, Martin Brice and his buddy Cosmo played digital Robin Hoods, hacking into the financial resources of prominent jerkass politicians to redistribute their wealth to people who need it - the National Organization to Legalize Marijuana, for example. One of their attempted hacks gets Cosmo caught while Martin was able to flee the country, due to a rather serendipitous pizza run. Years later, Martin's operating (under a nom de plume) a small group of misfits called a 'tiger team' which basically puts security systems through acid tests. The team consists of an ex-CIA operative, a conspiracy theorist technical adept, a blind man who's a consummate phreak due to great hearing and a juvenile delinquent genius. Everything is going swell until a couple of shady NSA agents contact Marty, call him by his old name and tell him that he needs to steal something for them if he wants to stay out of jail. ...And that's all I'm gonna tell you.
Michael Weston was taking notes from these guys. There are some specific dates given over the course of the film that would normally cause it to feel too dated. However, the charisma of the team's members, the whip-smart writing and the very nature of the capers helps the story not only age well but remain grounded and therefore more interesting to watch. The quasi-magical nature of computers in, say, Hackers is replaced with practical and mostly realistic things such as directional microphones, motion sensors sensative to body temperature and careful planning. When computers and encryption do get involved, the underlying math is not only explained but shown, giving the elements weight and helping them serve the story rather than dazzling us from seeing story weaknesses with flashy graphics and ludicrous jargon.
"Check it out, Marty, it's the latest in 'I don't want to get my head blown off when the mooks find me here' fashion." While there are some weaknesses in the story - the way in which things appear after they've been hacked, for instance - they're not bad enough to break the film's flow. Rather, they're smoothed over by some great performances. Robert Redford is one of the consummate leading men of both my generation and that of my parents. Sydney Poitier's stoic, cautious nature is played beautifully against the manic mind of Dan Akroyd. The late River Phoenix aquits himself very well as the youngest member of the team, while David Straithairn convincingly shows how a blind man would operate in these situations and how valuable he is in spite of his disability. Mary McDonnell is remarkable as Marty's Girl Friday and Ben Kingsley pulls off being both charming and menacing with ease. And all of these front-line well-rounded actors work with a script that never seems to fall flat or even miss more than one or two steps.
Okay, the film is a little dated. That mainframe behind those two could probably fit on an iPhone now. If I were asked to describe Sneakers in one word, I'd likely have the same reaction I do when I see someone slapping an aribtrary numerical score onto a review (which involves some very unpleasant indigestion) but the word I'd end up using after downing some Pepto-Bismol is "intelligent." The film's premise, mechanics, relationships and even humor never feel dumbed down or half-assed. It's not the kind of movie that talks down to its audience, which can be rare given some of the pedantic fare running around the local cinema. Still, this braininess means that it's focused more on character development and concept exploration than sex and violence, which means that some of the twitchy attention-deficit action junkies might consider this film too 'boring' and file it away with Empire Strikes Back or Gattaca while they clamour for the Avatar sequel. If you want to watch a caper film that's every bit as funny as any of the recent Ocean's Insert Incremental Number Here films while being at least a few notches smarter, Sneakers is waiting for you on the Netflix streaming service, and I'm pretty sure you're going to enjoy it. Otherwise, Halo:Reach still isn't due out until autumn. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, there. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Sneakers

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Sneakers — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/starship_troopers.mp3] If some of the screenwriters and directors in Hollywood are to be believed, computers are magical devices. Hook yours up to a wall socket, type really fast, and hey presto, the Pentagon's your bitch. Some hackers out there are so good they can do this while being held at gunpoint, or shall we say 'pleasured' by a hot blonde or even both. Of course, computer networks really don't work like that, especially high-profile governmental and military targets. It takes quite a few elements to breach the security of even pedestrian marks such as banks and research labs, from tapping phone lines to bluffing your way past the front desk. For a great cinematic example of how this sort of thing really works, as well as one that ages well, look no further than a little 1996 film called Sneakers. When he was in college, Martin Brice and his buddy Cosmo played digital Robin Hoods, hacking into the financial resources of prominent jerkass politicians to redistribute their wealth to people who need it - the National Organization to Legalize Marijuana, for example. One of their attempted hacks gets Cosmo caught while Martin was able to flee the country, due to a rather serendipitous pizza run. Years later, Martin's operating (under a nom de plume) a small group of misfits called a 'tiger team' which basically puts security systems through acid tests. The team consists of an ex-CIA operative, a conspiracy theorist technical adept, a blind man who's a consummate phreak due to great hearing and a juvenile delinquent genius. Everything is going swell until a couple of shady NSA agents contact Marty, call him by his old name and tell him that he needs to steal something for them if he wants to stay out of jail. ...And that's all I'm gonna tell you.
Michael Weston was taking notes from these guys. There are some specific dates given over the course of the film that would normally cause it to feel too dated. However, the charisma of the team's members, the whip-smart writing and the very nature of the capers helps the story not only age well but remain grounded and therefore more interesting to watch. The quasi-magical nature of computers in, say, Hackers is replaced with practical and mostly realistic things such as directional microphones, motion sensors sensative to body temperature and careful planning. When computers and encryption do get involved, the underlying math is not only explained but shown, giving the elements weight and helping them serve the story rather than dazzling us from seeing story weaknesses with flashy graphics and ludicrous jargon.
"Check it out, Marty, it's the latest in 'I don't want to get my head blown off when the mooks find me here' fashion." While there are some weaknesses in the story - the way in which things appear after they've been hacked, for instance - they're not bad enough to break the film's flow. Rather, they're smoothed over by some great performances. Robert Redford is one of the consummate leading men of both my generation and that of my parents. Sydney Poitier's stoic, cautious nature is played beautifully against the manic mind of Dan Akroyd. The late River Phoenix aquits himself very well as the youngest member of the team, while David Straithairn convincingly shows how a blind man would operate in these situations and how valuable he is in spite of his disability. Mary McDonnell is remarkable as Marty's Girl Friday and Ben Kingsley pulls off being both charming and menacing with ease. And all of these front-line well-rounded actors work with a script that never seems to fall flat or even miss more than one or two steps.
Okay, the film is a little dated. That mainframe behind those two could probably fit on an iPhone now. If I were asked to describe Sneakers in one word, I'd likely have the same reaction I do when I see someone slapping an aribtrary numerical score onto a review (which involves some very unpleasant indigestion) but the word I'd end up using after downing some Pepto-Bismol is "intelligent." The film's premise, mechanics, relationships and even humor never feel dumbed down or half-assed. It's not the kind of movie that talks down to its audience, which can be rare given some of the pedantic fare running around the local cinema. Still, this braininess means that it's focused more on character development and concept exploration than sex and violence, which means that some of the twitchy attention-deficit action junkies might consider this film too 'boring' and file it away with Empire Strikes Back or Gattaca while they clamour for the Avatar sequel. If you want to watch a caper film that's every bit as funny as any of the recent Ocean's Insert Incremental Number Here films while being at least a few notches smarter, Sneakers is waiting for you on the Netflix streaming service, and I'm pretty sure you're going to enjoy it. Otherwise, Halo:Reach still isn't due out until autumn. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, there. Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

Game Review: Dragon Age: Origins

Game Review: Dragon Age: Origins — Blue Ink Alchemy

All that blood means this game is totally dark and edgy. Totally. I've ragged a bit on the length of Dragon Age: Origins as well as the infamous memory leak that completely devoured at least an entire day of my life. But how did I feel about the game overall? How does its writing compare to Mass Effect or even its spiritual ancestor, Baldur's Gate? Read on, and find out. Dragon Age is a fantasy setting based in the world of Thedas. Origins introduces us to this world through the nation of Ferelden, which is facing the threat of invasion by twisted creatures known as darkspawn. The only force with the knowledge and experience capable of ending this threat, before it becomes a full-blown contagion of violence and destruction called a Blight, is the elite order of the Gray Wardens. It is this order your character will be invited to join after you get to know the race and/or class you select at the opening of the game.

Stuff I Didn't Like

"A little club soda will get those blood spatters out of your dress, sir."

• The game's intent of being a 'dark' fantasy is apparently the reason even the briefest of melee encounters will see you and the members of your party spattered in blood. It's as if Jackson Pollock runs from one member to the other armed with a brush dipped in red paint, giggling with childlike glee. Having this happen in the wake of a bloody close-up kill would work a lot better than having these people constantly covered in gore. It actually becomes kind of hilarious if you try to talk one of your party members after a fight. They will casually talk with you and even joke, without bothering to even wipe the blood out of their eyes. I know it's foolish to expect complete realism in a fantasy setting, but this always struck me as a bit off.
• There's a lot of loading that happens in this game, at least in the PC version. Especially when playing for longer than an hour or two, due to the aforementioned memory leak. I started seeing the slowly spinning tribal-influenced loading graphic in my sleep.
• The Codex of the game is very dry. I've started to get used to sparing glances at posted information or an overheard conversation dumping a ream of text into my journal, but in Mass Effect there was some narration on the major entries that helped convey some interesting and world-building information. Now, while Dragon Age's Codex isn't essential as most of the background and world-building happens in the course of conversation with others, but the fact remains that the full text presented in-game can be difficult to sift through. Browsing a wiki for the information outside of the game is more informative and interesting.
• Quests in fantasy games can often feel a little contrived. Stationary NPCs, especially those who are reputed to be powerful or fearsome, often give tasks to the players that they could easily accomplish themselves if not for some plot-imposed restriction. And in the course of your travels, it's easy to begin to lose sight of your motivation as you try to hurdle one obstacle after another in what should be a straightforward affair. The two biggest culprits in this area are the tower of the Circle of Magi, and the Deep Roads extending from the dwarven city of Orzammar. Unlike the optional side quests posted on various boards around Ferelden, these areas contain sequences that require you to move from one map to another in what I assume was an attempt to give the game scope but really just felt like they were trying to make a long game even longer. Now, as I said I've already had a gripe about the game's length, but having finished the game it did feel like a sweeping epic which is something I'll discuss more in a bit. But the Deep Roads in particular just felt overly tedious. When I finally reached Caridin at the end of the Roads, I half expected the big guy to take me through an exchange that'd go something like this:


"YOU WILL GO TO THE WAYOVERTHERE MOUNTAINS, TO THE VERY PEAK OF MOUNT NOOBDEATH, AND BRING ME THE TEN HAMMERS OF AWESOMENESS TO PROPERLY DISPOSE OF THE ANVIL OF THE VOID." "Is the anvil bolted down?" "...WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?" "Well, if isn't bolted to the stone, why don't we all pick it up and heave the thing into the molten lava flowing below us? Hell, even if it is bolted down, I'm a mage, Oghren's a mighty beer-drinking dwarf, Alistair's pretty badass when he stops whining and snarking, and both you and Shale are immortal super-strong golems. Why don't we eliminate the bolts, THEN hurl it into the lava? That'd do the job nicely, right?" "...YOUR SOLUTION IS NOT EPIC ENOUGH." "But it just makes more sense to use what we've got here than to wander all the way out and up into the mountains..." "EPIC SOLUTIONS DO NOT MEAN LOGICAL SOLUTIONS. GET ON WITH THE QUESTING." "..." "THERE'S EPIC GEAR IN IT FOR YOU." "Fine, whatever."

• Speaking of Shale, it boggles my mind that one of the best characters in the game is only available via DLC. Shale is interesting, useful, deep and absolutely hysterical, but if you didn't get the right retail copy or don't have the $15 necessary to download her, you're shit outta luck, friend.

Stuff I Liked

This view is why the PC version works very well for me.

• Regarding the game's length, while some of the sequences did feel a bit long in the tooth, the overall arc of the game is like that of Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia, in that we have a sojourn across a foreign land in the name of an epic quest. Seeing the story through to the end, while a frustrating slog at times, is very satisfying. It was like the first time I finally finished all three Lord of the Rings novels. I didn't really care about Tom Bombadil's hat or how green the grass is in the Shire, but it was pretty damn awesome to see how everything resolved in the end.
• There's a lot of replay value here. Beyond the different origin stories, there are a lot of choices to make with a given character both in terms of dialog and specialization. No two playthroughs are guaranteed to be the same. In fact, I've thought of going back to an earlier save of my mage and tweaking his build just a bit, to make him more of a magic knight and less of an armored healer. Hell, I could change his build entirely and just nuke everything in sight.
• The politics and religions of Thedas in general and Ferelden in particular feel three-dimensional. The main NPCs you'll encounter in your travels also come across as more than cardboard cut-outs, despite their somewhat stiff uncanny valley appearance.

Stuff I Loved

Oghren: "You as sick of runnin' hither an' yon for these lazy sodding rutters as I am?"

• The speaking characters in your party, while requiring some of BioWare's trademark micromanagement, are a diverse and well-realized bunch. Shale, as I've mentioned, is a stand-out character, and Oghren the dwarf had me rolling pretty much any time he spoke. I mentioned Alistair's penchant for being whiny and snarky, but for the most part it's more endearing than annoying. I even found myself warming up to Sten, the extremely stoic Qunari warrior. Another reason I want to play through this game again is to further explore some of the stories behind the party members I didn't hang out with as often. Your mileage may vary, of course. However, the only reason I imagine someone might not like the character of the Dog is if they just plain hate dogs. Otherwise, I would be very surprised if you played this game and didn't find yourself wanting a mabari war hound of your own.
• It would be easy for this game, billed as a dark fantasy and covered in blood, to focus entirely on combat as a means to resolve all its situations. But there's diplomacy, puzzle-solving and even some politicing involved as well. Allowing the game's storylines to expand beyond the combat engine makes it feel less like a straight hack and slash affair and more like an honest-to-whomever role playing game. Solid writing that compliments the action instead of existing solely for the purpose of shepherding us from one combat encounter to the next makes the game more interesting, immersive and fun. Dragon Age: Origins definitely delivers on that score.
• There's a definite feeling that your actions (or inaction in some cases) have long-reaching ramifications in this world. From party members deserting you over a given choice to whole parties of pilgrims getting wiped out in the epilogue because you skipped something, Dragon Age: Origins reminds you that Thedas is much bigger than the microcosm of you and your party. The world is built in this way to such a degree that the Codex feels even more superfluous. Thedas is a rich, deep and rewarding world to explore, and I found myself wanting to spend more time there, darkspawn and ogres notwithstanding.

Bottom Line: If you have any interest in a high fantasy role-playing game that evokes the likes of Baldur's Gate or Neverwinter Nights, Dragon Age: Origins is worth the investment of both time and money. Fans of straight-forward hack'n'slashers might be better off buying Torchlight or saving up for the upcoming Diablo III. I plan on playing this plenty in the weeks and months to come, which means that for me, Dragon Age: Origins is a great success.

---

Blue Ink Alchemy

Game Review: Dragon Age: Origins

Game Review: Dragon Age: Origins — Blue Ink Alchemy

All that blood means this game is totally dark and edgy. Totally. I've ragged a bit on the length of Dragon Age: Origins as well as the infamous memory leak that completely devoured at least an entire day of my life. But how did I feel about the game overall? How does its writing compare to Mass Effect or even its spiritual ancestor, Baldur's Gate? Read on, and find out. Dragon Age is a fantasy setting based in the world of Thedas. Origins introduces us to this world through the nation of Ferelden, which is facing the threat of invasion by twisted creatures known as darkspawn. The only force with the knowledge and experience capable of ending this threat, before it becomes a full-blown contagion of violence and destruction called a Blight, is the elite order of the Gray Wardens. It is this order your character will be invited to join after you get to know the race and/or class you select at the opening of the game.

Stuff I Didn't Like

"A little club soda will get those blood spatters out of your dress, sir."

• The game's intent of being a 'dark' fantasy is apparently the reason even the briefest of melee encounters will see you and the members of your party spattered in blood. It's as if Jackson Pollock runs from one member to the other armed with a brush dipped in red paint, giggling with childlike glee. Having this happen in the wake of a bloody close-up kill would work a lot better than having these people constantly covered in gore. It actually becomes kind of hilarious if you try to talk one of your party members after a fight. They will casually talk with you and even joke, without bothering to even wipe the blood out of their eyes. I know it's foolish to expect complete realism in a fantasy setting, but this always struck me as a bit off.
• There's a lot of loading that happens in this game, at least in the PC version. Especially when playing for longer than an hour or two, due to the aforementioned memory leak. I started seeing the slowly spinning tribal-influenced loading graphic in my sleep.
• The Codex of the game is very dry. I've started to get used to sparing glances at posted information or an overheard conversation dumping a ream of text into my journal, but in Mass Effect there was some narration on the major entries that helped convey some interesting and world-building information. Now, while Dragon Age's Codex isn't essential as most of the background and world-building happens in the course of conversation with others, but the fact remains that the full text presented in-game can be difficult to sift through. Browsing a wiki for the information outside of the game is more informative and interesting.
• Quests in fantasy games can often feel a little contrived. Stationary NPCs, especially those who are reputed to be powerful or fearsome, often give tasks to the players that they could easily accomplish themselves if not for some plot-imposed restriction. And in the course of your travels, it's easy to begin to lose sight of your motivation as you try to hurdle one obstacle after another in what should be a straightforward affair. The two biggest culprits in this area are the tower of the Circle of Magi, and the Deep Roads extending from the dwarven city of Orzammar. Unlike the optional side quests posted on various boards around Ferelden, these areas contain sequences that require you to move from one map to another in what I assume was an attempt to give the game scope but really just felt like they were trying to make a long game even longer. Now, as I said I've already had a gripe about the game's length, but having finished the game it did feel like a sweeping epic which is something I'll discuss more in a bit. But the Deep Roads in particular just felt overly tedious. When I finally reached Caridin at the end of the Roads, I half expected the big guy to take me through an exchange that'd go something like this:


"YOU WILL GO TO THE WAYOVERTHERE MOUNTAINS, TO THE VERY PEAK OF MOUNT NOOBDEATH, AND BRING ME THE TEN HAMMERS OF AWESOMENESS TO PROPERLY DISPOSE OF THE ANVIL OF THE VOID." "Is the anvil bolted down?" "...WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?" "Well, if isn't bolted to the stone, why don't we all pick it up and heave the thing into the molten lava flowing below us? Hell, even if it is bolted down, I'm a mage, Oghren's a mighty beer-drinking dwarf, Alistair's pretty badass when he stops whining and snarking, and both you and Shale are immortal super-strong golems. Why don't we eliminate the bolts, THEN hurl it into the lava? That'd do the job nicely, right?" "...YOUR SOLUTION IS NOT EPIC ENOUGH." "But it just makes more sense to use what we've got here than to wander all the way out and up into the mountains..." "EPIC SOLUTIONS DO NOT MEAN LOGICAL SOLUTIONS. GET ON WITH THE QUESTING." "..." "THERE'S EPIC GEAR IN IT FOR YOU." "Fine, whatever."

• Speaking of Shale, it boggles my mind that one of the best characters in the game is only available via DLC. Shale is interesting, useful, deep and absolutely hysterical, but if you didn't get the right retail copy or don't have the $15 necessary to download her, you're shit outta luck, friend.

Stuff I Liked

This view is why the PC version works very well for me.

• Regarding the game's length, while some of the sequences did feel a bit long in the tooth, the overall arc of the game is like that of Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia, in that we have a sojourn across a foreign land in the name of an epic quest. Seeing the story through to the end, while a frustrating slog at times, is very satisfying. It was like the first time I finally finished all three Lord of the Rings novels. I didn't really care about Tom Bombadil's hat or how green the grass is in the Shire, but it was pretty damn awesome to see how everything resolved in the end.
• There's a lot of replay value here. Beyond the different origin stories, there are a lot of choices to make with a given character both in terms of dialog and specialization. No two playthroughs are guaranteed to be the same. In fact, I've thought of going back to an earlier save of my mage and tweaking his build just a bit, to make him more of a magic knight and less of an armored healer. Hell, I could change his build entirely and just nuke everything in sight.
• The politics and religions of Thedas in general and Ferelden in particular feel three-dimensional. The main NPCs you'll encounter in your travels also come across as more than cardboard cut-outs, despite their somewhat stiff uncanny valley appearance.

Stuff I Loved

Oghren: "You as sick of running hither an' yon for these lazy sodding rutters as I am?"

• The speaking characters in your party, while requiring some of BioWare's trademark micromanagement, are a diverse and well-realized bunch. Shale, as I've mentioned, is a stand-out character, and Oghren the dwarf had me rolling pretty much any time he spoke. I mentioned Alistair's penchant for being whiny and snarky, but for the most part it's more endearing than annoying. I even found myself warming up to Sten, the extremely stoic Qunari warrior. Another reason I want to play through this game again is to further explore some of the stories behind the party members I didn't hang out with as often. Your mileage may vary, of course. However, the only reason I imagine someone might not like the character of the Dog is if they just plain hate dogs. Otherwise, I would be very surprised if you played this game and didn't find yourself wanting a mabari war hound of your own.
• It would be easy for this game, billed as a dark fantasy and covered in blood, to focus entirely on combat as a means to resolve all its situations. But there's diplomacy, puzzle-solving and even some politicing involved as well. Allowing the game's storylines to expand beyond the combat engine makes it feel less like a straight hack and slash affair and more like an honest-to-whomever role playing game. Solid writing that compliments the action instead of existing solely for the purpose of shepherding us from one combat encounter to the next makes the game more interesting, immersive and fun. Dragon Age: Origins definitely delivers on that score.
• There's a definite feeling that your actions (or inaction in some cases) have long-reaching ramifications in this world. From party members deserting you over a given choice to whole parties of pilgrims getting wiped out in the epilogue because you skipped something, Dragon Age: Origins reminds you that Thedas is much bigger than the microcosm of you and your party. The world is built in this way to such a degree that the Codex feels even more superfluous. Thedas is a rich, deep and rewarding world to explore, and I found myself wanting to spend more time there, darkspawn and ogres notwithstanding.

Bottom Line: If you have any interest in a high fantasy role-playing game that evokes the likes of Baldur's Gate or Neverwinter Nights, Dragon Age: Origins is worth the investment of both time and money. Fans of straight-forward hack'n'slashers might be better off buying Torchlight or saving up for the upcoming Diablo III. I plan on playing this plenty in the weeks and months to come, which means that for me, Dragon Age: Origins is a great success.

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Blue Ink Alchemy