Spoons and Pens

Spoons and Pens — Blue Ink Alchemy

Some of the brightest and most memorable women I've known have dealt with long-term, incurable and nearly debilitating illnesses. Two in particular have introduced me to a particular way of dealing with these obstacles known as "the spoon theory." Christine Miserandino explains the theory in detail here, but let me provide you with the Cliff's notes. Every task and undertaking over the course of a day, no matter how mundane it might seem, incurs a cost. In this case, each task costs you a spoon. Some of us have a silverware drawer full of spoons of various sizes. Go through that drawer, and every time you do something during the day - get out of bed, take a shower, clean up the home, go to work, do a task at work, cook something - toss a spoon over your shoulder. You'd end up with a big pile of spoons on the floor and, in my case, at least one very confused-looking housecat. Now imagine you only have seven spoons. Or five. Or three. Kind of drives home the importance of spending one's time wisely, if you ask me. At times I need to remind myself that I can't write everything I want to. I'd love to finish my manuscript's edits, start a new one, write a screenplay, send more pitches to the Escapist. But I only have so much time over the course of the day. To extend the aforementioned metaphor, I have only a few pens with which to write every day. When they're out of ink, they're gone. Some days, I have more pens than others. It could be a weekend, a holiday, a sick day. Ah, but will I use those pens wisely, or write something that has no lasting value, like a character drabble for a game or a navel-gazing blog post? And the more time I spend on other tasks or pursuits - unpacking long-packed boxes, playing a game, you name it - the fewer pens I have. Now, I'm not saying that all writers suffer from an illness. I mean, it's entirely possible that we do, but the writing itself isn't an affliction. Unless you ask Heinlein. Then again, maybe he was on to something. It'd explain why I only get food poked in my direction at the end of a long stick through a slot in the door. All I'm saying is, creative folk should look to spend their creative time wisely. We only have so many hours in a day and we can't do all we'd like in those hours. It's important to have goals, set expectations, mark milestones. The more we get into the habit in managing the use and expenditure of our limited pens, the better our work will be and the more we'll get accomplished over all. Those are my thoughts, at least. What are yours?

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Get Back On The Horse

Get Back On The Horse — Blue Ink Alchemy

The phrase "get back on the horse" usually refers to someone getting "thrown" from said horse. A tragedy occurs, a heart is broken, a house burns down or a car is totaled - it's something that throws the individual in question completely out of whack. Equilibrium is shot. The status quo's out the window. The only way to get back on track is to get back on the horse, even if it just threw you. However, it's not just the earth-shattering events that cause us to leave the back of our steeds. Sometimes, things just stop for a bit. The horse needs water or caught a rock in their hoof. We swing down from the saddle, tend to the horse, and take some time for ourselves as well, to grab a bite or take in the scenery. I'm speaking metaphorically, of course, but the bottom line is we stop our progress in our journey. One of my favorite Westerns of recent years is Hidalgo, and not just because Viggo Mortensen's in it. Towards the end, Frank (Viggo's character) goes through a somewhat trippy sequence. He and Hidalgo have fought tooth and nail to persevere in the punishing race across the desert, and the horse is so exhausted that Frank considers putting his companion down. However, he experiences admonitions from his Lakota ancestors to finish the journey and that he and his horse need each other. Emerging from the dream, Frank turns to see Hidalgo on his feet and waiting for the rather thick human to get back on so they can win the damn race. (If you haven't seen this film, it's a lot of fun and a classic adventure steeped in Western trappings, so check it out. Also, horses!) Our desires and dreams are a bit like that horse. We might think that they're daunting or even impossible to complete. We may exhaust ourselves trying to pursue them at the same time we struggle to make ends meet and address practical matters of living in the modern age. Bills need to be paid, clients need to be appeased, debts need to be settled and obligations need to be met. A lot of needs shove and yank us hither and yon, leaving little energy for ourselves. Sometimes we don't want to put that energy into something that seems like it'll go nowhere, considering there are tons of others out there already doing what we wish we could. Better to bear those ills we have, etc. Besides, a lot of creative people including myself are a bit like magpies. We may want to get from A to B but between those two points are shiny things. New movies, favorite games, comfortable stories and old favorites. We flit to and fro in our free time, especially if we've spent ourselves on a creative effort that is either seems too daunting or returns little gratification. The keyboard, the controller, the popcorn bucket, the remote for the TV - they're security blankets, things to cling to when the phone calls from collectors begin and we want to just forget about deadlines for a while. But we get a nudge. Like an impatient horse standing behind us whose gotten their water and taken some time to rest their hooves, our desires don't leave us alone. We can't stay in idyllic wilderness settings forever. We're on a journey, here. And while the journey itself is often just as interesting as the destination, if not moreso, we won't reach our goals if we stand in the middle of the field staring at them. We have to move there. We have to make the effort. We have to get back on the horse. It could be argued that a lot of this "writer's block" stuff comes from us blocking ourselves. It's an excuse to stop expending effort, burn a little less lean tissue, invite less stress into our lives. I stopped work on Acradea to finish the Blizzard contest entry, and then... played more Warcraft. Got some fresh air. Saw Scott Pilgrim. Cheered for the Union. And it was fun, refreshing and relaxing. But my manuscript's still here. It's waiting for me. If it were a horse, it'd be looking at me somewhat impatiently. It wants to move forward, continue the journey, get to a place where it can be hand-fed some damn oats by a pretty farmer's daughter. It's not going to get there while I stand around wool-gathering. For my part, it's past time to get back on the horse. Have you had moments like that? Has a project, a work in progress, given you a mental nudge to remind you it's still there? Have you ever taken a break for longer than you expected, only to find you need to pull yourself back into working on it?

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World — Blue Ink Alchemy

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a film that's difficult to put into a genre. Its central story is, at first glance, a romance. A great deal of the dialog is comedic. But how many romantic comedies do you know where the conflicts are resolved through kung-fu matches? And how many kung-fu battles have you seen in a movie that include running scores, power-ups and visible sound effects? The term "something for everybody" gets bandied about a great deal, but Scott Pilgrim just might fit that bill. The problem with having so many of these elements in a film, however, is that some elements don't get as much time as they should. That isn't to say this movie is bad. This movie is far from bad. This movie, in fact, is very good, and you should go see it if you haven't already.
Scott Pilgrim. Age: 22. Rating: Awesome. Based on the acclaimed series of graphic novels by Brian Lee O'Malley, the eponymous Scott Pilgrim is a Canadian bass player who's unashamedly between jobs, dating a high schooler and mooching off of his gay roommate Wallace, who tolerates Scott because it's fun to watch him squirm when discomforting things happen to him. Scott's precious little life takes an unexpected turn when a mysterious girl named Ramona Flowers skates through his dreams. Drawn to Ramona's mature and world-weary personality, Scott encounters more than he bargained for when he is attacked by Ramona's evil exes. Like Mega Man needing to defeat a series of Robot Masters to restore order in the world, Scott Pilgrim needs to defeat a series of super-powered individuals to get what he wants. Luckily, despite being a slacker and a dweeb, Scott's also the best fighter in the province. As for what he wants, let's take a look at Scott as he's depicted in the film. Let me make this perfectly clear: if you pass up on this movie because you don't like Michael Cera, you are making a mistake. It's not that I don't understand where the ire against Cera comes from. Previously, in romantic comedies, he's cast in the role of the screenwriter's projection of the 'right guy' for the girl. You know what I mean, the sensitive, quiet, intelligent and otherwise marginalized young man who's so much better for the girl than the large, attractive, macho jerks she tends to date - a Marty Stu, if you will. Now, while Ramona has dated some jerks, and Scott is somewhat sensitive and quiet... he's also, himself, a jerk. He knows he's sensitive but he uses that sensitivity to milk those around him for sympathy. His intelligence is applied to remaining as free from responsibility as possible. He exists in a personal space that I think a lot of young men of my generation, including myself, have at one point or another: the militant refusal to grow up. In a way, the 'final boss' in the story is the kind of person Scott could become if he's not careful - a pretentious, self-centered, smirking and completely slimy hipster douchebag.
+2 versus critics. Meeting Ramona (very well played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead) doesn't just change Scott's life because he has to fight to the death in order to date her. The message she conveys to Scott and, by extension, those of us in the audience who live or have lived in that aforementioned Neverland in our heads, is as necessary as it is harsh. "You're not Peter Pan. You have to grow up. You need to get over yourself. If you can stop being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing you can let the good things about yourself shine through and speak for themselves; otherwise, you're going to turn into something you hate." Ramona also presents us with a personification of the sort of things we deal with when we get to know somebody. Their past, the people they've loved and lost, the mistakes they've made that haunt them; this 'baggage' doesn't just sit around. It's active and nearly constant, trying to keep us out of the moment and pulling us back into the past. While ultimately the battle Scott needs to have is with himself for his own sake, he also needs to be willing to fight past Ramona's baggage in order to be a part of her future. Now, when you get right down to it, all of this unsubtle metaphorical self-examination occurs under a surface of retro gaming references, genuinely funny comedy, a slew of callbacks to the graphic novels and some really memorable performances. Kieran Culkin's come out of nowhere to own the role of Wallace, Scott's smirking roommate who acts as something of a mentor. The League of Evil Exes seems to have come to life directly from O'Malley's pages, and Chris Evans and Brandon Routh in particular seem to be having a great deal of fun in their roles, which I found quite amusing personally as I tend to think of them as Captain America and Superman, respectively. And I will admit, when the dual cameo shows up at the end of Scott's fight with a particular evil ex, I went into full fanboy mode. I'll say nothing more for fear of spoilers.
So here's a picture of Sex Bob-Omb instead. It's not a perfect movie. Condensing six novel-length parts of a narrative into a two-hour movie means things are going to get trimmed, watered and reduced down. A few of the characters are robbed of some of their development, and even Scott's growth towards the end is somewhat truncated compared to how it occurs in the books. Now, the books were still in production when the film started shooting, so the last third overall is different from the source material. However, I think a lot of the people who still didn't feel any sympathy whatsoever towards Scott at the end might have been buoyed up by some of those missing experiences. Not that Scott or any protagonist necessarily needs to be 100% sympathetic in order to carry a story - in fact, Scott's jerkass behavior in the beginning and middle of the movie drives home his need to get over himself all the more, and holds up that rather uncomfortable mirror to those of us who've been there. In spite of its flaws, I really liked Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Director Edgar Wright, the man who brought us Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, really makes the visuals pop off of the screen and worked with O'Malley to ensure the characters that do get developed do so in a well-paced arc that shows their complexity and their humanity. There's a lot of great music throughout the movie, the visual style is a quirky flavor of awesome, the dialog is smart and the fights all have a great deal of energy. The video game rules by which Scott Pilgrim's Toronto operates go unexplained but, really, we don't need to understand why Scott has a Pee Bar or where he stashes all of those coins after a fight. When the ex leaves him more than 2.40 Canadian, that is.
Reversal!! Stuff I Liked: I've yet to see an Edgar Wright film I haven't thoroughly enjoyed. Michael Cera acquits himself well with a very faithful and very good Scott Pilgrim. The messages in this movie are necessary to our generation and rather clearly conveyed under all the trappings of indie rock and 8-bit kung fu. Stuff I Didn't Like: A lot of the characters - Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Envy Adams and Stacey Pilgrim, to name just a few - feel a little underdeveloped. The metaphors aren't terribly subtle. I expected Scott to have a little more smirking self-confidence at first to more closely follow his arc in the books, but this is a minor quibble. And I really didn't like how people went to see The Expendables or Eat, Pray, Love instead of this film. America, I am disappoint. Stuff I Loved: The music. The fights. The fact that Toronto is actually playing Toronto instead of standing in for America. Ramona, Wallace, Knives and the League of Evil Exes. The playful, retro and refreshing visual aesthetic. This exchange:
Young Neil: "What're you doing?"
Scott: "Getting a life." Bottom Line: Go see this movie. I plan on buying it on DVD when it comes out. Brian Lee O'Malley, Edgar Wright, this great cast and a hard-working crew have labored to produce something fresh, original and fun while other studios churn out the cinematic equivalent of a corner convenience store hot dog. You know, the ones that have been sitting under heating lamps for at least four hours? Ew. See Scott Pilgrim vs. The World instead of the other stuff that's out there. Trust me. You will not be disappointed.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Emperor's New Groove

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Emperor's New Groove — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/emperorsnewgroove.mp3] Originality, even when it's forced, is a rare and wonderful thing these days. Sometimes it comes about due to the constraints of budget or equipment. Sometimes the expectations or demands of a client or superior change. However it happens, if a production can manage to recover, even if it goes in an entirely new direction, the result is usually at least interesting, if not decent. The Emperor's New Groove is more than decent, being an atypical Disney movie and, in my humble opinion, one of their most fun. The story is set in an ambiguously ancient Mezzo-American empire, whose current head honcho, Kuzco, is something of a spoiled selfish jerk. The teenaged tyrant is looking to build his new summer home (complete with water slide) on the hilltop currently occupied by a small peasant village. His plans distract him from the machinations of his ancient witch of an advisor, Yzma, who conspires with her large and somewhat ADHD-afflicted handyman Kronk to poison Kuzco and usurp his empire. Unfortunately for Yzma, Kronk grabs the wrong vial and instead of dying, Kuzco is turned into a llama. The polymorphed potentate is dumped on a cart belonging to Pacha, leader of the village scheduled for destruction. In order to get back to his palace and regain his throne, Kuzco needs to work with Pacha, who will only help the emperor if he agrees to build 'Kuzcotopia' somewhere else. Hilarity ensues. Originally, this was going to be a far more typical Disney musical, called Kingdom of the Sun. They had a Prince & the Pauper storyline, Sting was lined up to do the songs, everything was going swimmingly. The production began to suffer, however, when the team tried to find ways to make the story more original. Test screenings didn't go well, and the two directors assigned to the project by Michael Eisner ended up working on two different films, with one leaning towards drama while the other aimed for comedy. When the more drama-minded director left the production, Eisner threatened to shut down the production entirely. While the animators were assigned to a Fantasia sequence, the writers and remaining director gave the film a serious overhaul. The result was The Emperor's New Groove.
Think of the jaguars as very angry investors. But what the hell do they know? Opting for an entirely comedic experience, the movie plays a lot more like something out of Warner Brothers than Disney. There's no romance save the relationship between Pacha and his very pregnant wife, all but one of the in-movie songs were cut (which made Sting very upset), and the typical Disney cute animal very spitefully tries to get Kuzco eaten by a pack of hungry jaguars. A particularly Looney Tunes moment is in the third act when Yzma and Kronk are in a dark room, and all we can see are their eyes in an entirely black space. You'll know what I mean when you see it. One of the most brilliant decisions made was to cast David Spade as Kuzco. His performances in the various comedies he's been a part of over the last decade or so have been somewhat hit and miss. Emperor's New Groove is the former. Spade is very good at being a shallow jerkass, and channeling that into the shallow-as-a-thimble Kuzco is a stroke of genius. The small ensemble cast is, in fact, effective on all sides. John Goodman's Pacha is very charming and endearing, Patrick Warburton launched a great voice acting career due to his turn as Kronk, and Yzma wouldn't be anywhere near as enjoyable or the jokes to which she's subjected as funny if her voice wasn't coming out of former Catwoman Eartha Kitt.
One might even say she was "purrfect" for the role. Combining this great voice work with some of Disney's finer hand-drawn animations and quite a few lampshades being hung on the typical fare from the studio creates a very funny movie that still manages to be endearing in places. We see an actual friendship develop, the characters are memorable, the story moves a great clip and none of the jokes overstay their welcomes. In terms of both comedy and animation, this movie does everything it needs to do right not just right but very well. Even if you don't have kids, I'm willing to bet you'll find The Emperor's New Groove an amusing and refreshingly quirky romp from Disney's animation studio. It fits well in just about any Netflix queue, whether you're a fan of comedies in general or need a change of pace. It's always interesting to see, over the course of a narrative, a complete jerkass grow and change into... well, a slightly more tolerable jerk. Which is part of the reason Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, in my opinion, works as well as it does. ...What? You haven't seen that yet, either? Why are you still sitting there? Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Emperor's New Groove

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Emperor's New Groove — Blue Ink Alchemy

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/emperorsnewgroove.mp3] Originality, even when it's forced, is a rare and wonderful thing these days. Sometimes it comes about due to the constraints of budget or equipment. Sometimes the expectations or demands of a client or superior change. However it happens, if a production can manage to recover, even if it goes in an entirely new direction, the result is usually at least interesting, if not decent. The Emperor's New Groove is more than decent, being an atypical Disney movie and, in my humble opinion, one of their most fun. The story is set in an ambiguously ancient Mezzo-American emperor, whose current head honcho, Kuzco, is something of a spoiled selfish jerk. The teenaged tyrant is looking to build his new summer home (complete with water slide) on the hilltop currently occupied by a small peasant village. His plans distract him from the machinations of his ancient witch of an advisor, Yzma, who conspires with her large and somewhat ADHD-afflicted handyman Kronk to poison Kuzco and usurp his empire. Unfortunately for Yzma, Kronk grabs the wrong vial and instead of dying, Kuzco is turned into a llama. The polymorphed potentate is dumped on a cart belonging to Pacha, leader of the village scheduled for destruction. In order to get back to his palace and regain his throne, Kuzco needs to work with Pacha, who will only help the emperor if he agrees to build 'Kuzcotopia' somewhere else. Hilarity ensues. Originally, this was going to be a far more typical Disney musical, called Kingdom of the Sun. They had a Prince & the Pauper storyline, Sting was lined up to do the songs, everything was going swimmingly. The production began to suffer, however, when the team tried to find ways to make the story more original. Test screenings didn't go well, and the two directors assigned to the project by Michael Eisner ended up working on two different films, with one leaning towards drama while the other aimed for comedy. When the more drama-minded director left the production, Eisner threatened to shut down the production entirely. While the animators were assigned to a Fantasia sequence, the writers and remaining director gave the film a serious overhaul. The result was The Emperor's New Groove.
Think of the jaguars as very angry investors. But what the hell do they know? Opting for an entirely comedic experience, the movie plays a lot more like something out of Warner Brothers than Disney. There's no romance save the relationship between Pacha and his very pregnant wife, all but one of the in-movie songs were cut (which made Sting very upset), and the typical Disney cute animal very spitefully tries to get Kuzco eaten by a pack of hungry jaguars. A particularly Looney Tunes moment is in the third act when Yzma and Kronk are in a dark room, and all we can see are their eyes in an entirely black space. You'll know what I mean when you see it. One of the most brilliant decisions made was to cast David Spade as Kuzco. His performances in the various comedies he's been a part of over the last decade or so have been somewhat hit and miss. Emperor's New Groove is the former. Spade is very good at being a shallow jerkass, and channeling that into the shallow-as-a-thimble Kuzco is a stroke of genius. The small ensemble cast is, in fact, effective on all sides. John Goodman's Pacha is very charming and endearing, Patrick Warburton launched a great voice acting career due to his turn as Kronk, and Yzma wouldn't be anywhere near as enjoyable or the jokes to which she's subjected as funny if her voice wasn't coming out of former Catwoman Eartha Kitt.
One might even say she was "purrfect" for the role. Combining this great voice work with some of Disney's finer hand-drawn animations and quite a few lampshades being hung on the typical fare from the studio creates a very funny movie that still manages to be endearing in places. We see an actual friendship develop, the characters are memorable, the story moves a great clip and none of the jokes overstay their welcomes. In terms of both comedy and animation, this movie does everything it needs to do right not just right but very well. Even if you don't have kids, I'm willing to bet you'll find The Emperor's New Groove an amusing and refreshingly quirky romp from Disney's animation studio. It fits well in just about any Netflix queue, whether you're a fan of comedies in general or need a change of pace. It's always interesting to see, over the course of a narrative, a complete jerkass grow and change into... well, a slightly more tolerable jerk. Which is part of the reason Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, in my opinion, works as well as it does. ...What? You haven't seen that yet, either? Why are you still sitting there? Josh Loomis can't always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it's unclear if this week's film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain... IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

The Truth About Tropes

The Truth About Tropes — Blue Ink Alchemy

If you're at all associated with the Internet, beyond referring to it as "a series of tubes," you're probably away of a little site called TV Tropes. Caveat Browser: This site will eat your free-time like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Anyway, a lot of the things listed on the site also list examples of places where things go totally wrong or depict a work in a satirical or sarcastic manner. You might come to think that the things on the site are things to be avoided, for fear of derision, ridicule or the simple notion that your work might suffer because of their presence. They have a whole page on this subject, under Tropes Are Tools: Tropes Are Not Bad. First of all, you can't avoid them. Even if you say to yourself as you write, "This is X or Y trope," chances are you've already written at least two other tropes into your work. Something that you considered entirely original will probably be pointed out as a trope and listed as such on the aforementioned site. Even if it's pointed out as a 'bad' thing or 'overused', at least somebody's reading your work, right? Moreover, it's entirely possible to use tropes well, or turn them on their heads. Look at Watchmen or Kick-Ass. Something that has its cool factor emphasized or the humor level turned up to eleven isn't necessarily a bad work. In fact, such things can be rather successful if done right. Finally, the existence of this trope listing serves a repository for quite a few cautionary tales on how not to do it. Consciously or unconsciously, if you see something listed on a trope page that reminds you of your work, and not in a good way, on that same page you can find examples of how the trope is done well, so you can see how to change your work to make it go down a different path than where it goes currently. Specifically, the path that rocks. Take a look at TV Tropes. Browse around. Look up stories you like and stories you hate. Just let someone know you're going in. Use the buddy system. And for God's sake, don't forget to eat something.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Search Term Grab-Bag

Search Term Grab-Bag — Blue Ink Alchemy

Every so often, Chuck engages in a little "search term bingo." I don't have as many to deal with, but let's see some of the more interesting ones from the past week. ariadne inception This one comes up a lot, since I do have a deep affection for the film. But it gets me thinking: who would want to "infect" Ariadne with an idea? And what would that idea be? If I had more time and less self-esteem, I might write a fanfic about it. But World of Warcraft satisfies any unnatural cravings I might have in the fanfic department. Speaking of which... wow troll, troll warcraft, troll female I think they're awesome. Warcraft, and the trolls therein. I'm just wondering why the biggest search term draw is related to... ...oh. Right. Troll tits. jason statham with hair Statham's lack of hair is like Chuck Norris' beard. It's the source of his power. I mean, he can still rock a flick he's in (like Revolver) when he's coiffed, but it's better when he rocks his bald of awesome. velvet and gay vampires Enough interesting questions have been asked about me. This doesn't help. additional pylons They must be constructed.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Care For, Then Conceal, Your Strings

Care For, Then Conceal, Your Strings — Blue Ink Alchemy

You've heard it before. "Start your story as late as possible." It's good advice. Get your reader right into the action. Paragraph one on page one, WHAM. They're neck deep in narrative. In medias res, even. Get them asking questions, and promise answers right around the corner to keep things moving. All good stuff. Unfortunately, you can't drop into the story yourself, as a writer, out of nowhere. It's extremely rare for an idea to spring fully formed from your cranium and immediately make itself coherent on the page. Characters need motivation. Settings need history. Present events should be informed by previous ones. You need to do some planning. Puppets, after all, don't just drop onto the stage and start cavorting about. They need strings, and you need to make sure those strings are taut and untangled. The audience, on the other hand, never needs to see the strings. Take a character from a work. That character came from somewhere. They had parents, or creators, or something along those lines. Maybe they're an experiment that started before the story begins. Maybe they've been kicked out of an organization or Heaven or the local book club. They might have loved and lost, or maybe a candle still burns for someone. This is all stuff to figure out beforehand. Once you do, though, it's not necessary to show it to the audience. The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit would not exist without the history and stories set down by Tolkien in The Silmarillion, but those notes might not necessarily make for good reading. Die hard fans will definitely get a kick out of that sort of thing, but at first blush, it's cluttering up the narrative and over-complicating the characters. Hook the reader with clear, concise action and dialog first before you delve into the background stories, if you do at all. Character bibles are good tools to use here. Get the stuff out of your head and into a format you can reference, but that doesn't seep into the finished work. When it comes to trimming fat, trim things discussed in your notes that don't necessarily need to be brought up in the story. Simplify, simplify, simplify. I think I'm starting to ramble rather than dispense good advice at this point, so let me hear from you. How do you keep your strings cared for but concealed from the audience? What works for you? What doesn't? What are some other examples of this sort of thing?

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Azeroth is my Gym

Azeroth is my Gym — Blue Ink Alchemy

Why don't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet dragon ride? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. With a few exceptions, I'm not entirely focused on World of Warcraft when I'm playing it. The aforementioned exception is the dungeons & raids. I stay focused in there. Mostly because I don't want to suck at playing whichever role I happen to be playing at the time. If I'm DPS, I want to top the damage charts. If I'm tanking, I don't want anybody else getting smacked in the face. And nobody dies on my watch when I'm healing, otherwise you have every right to call me a tosser. There are exceptions to the exceptions, too, since some of the dungeons I've seen and finished on my main character about a hundred times. If the run's routine, and populated with random folk I've never met who are all sporting gear as good as or better than mine, I can slip into the place where I spend the bulk of my Warcraft time. Half in the actual game, half in other places. You see, being in the fantasy world of Azeroth is to my brain what being in the gym is to other people's bodies. I don't go to a gym. I can't afford it, and while I might benefit from extended physical activity on a regular basis, I see walking to and from the train stations in Lansdale & Doylestown as an adequate amount of physical exercise, more than most in my sedentary line of work get as they sit in traffic cursing at some jerk in a BMW who cut them off while yammering on their Bluetooth and sipping their latte. Suckers. Back on topic. Wandering around the huge game world of Blizzard's MMO, I find inspiration almost everywhere I turn. The towering spires of Dalaran, that whole floating city in fact, reminds me a great deal of the similar cities I've conceptualized in Citizen in the Wilds. The lush, overgrown landscape of Sholazar Basin invokes those selfsame Wilds. Northrend, in general, is a big reason why I got off my ass and was able to finish the first draft of Citizen, and is a constant reminder that I have more editing to do before it's ready to present to agents and professional editors. I'm also using the background and ongoing stories for Warcraft characters as exercises in writing. I'm looking out for passive voice. I'm keeping things simple and brief. I'm killing darlings. Even if only a half-dozen people read the stuff that emerges from those exercises, I'm keeping my writing knives and scalpels sharp. But those exercises wouldn't come to be at all if I weren't playing the game. I know that playing the game as much as I do doesn't make me as productive as I could be. However, if I try to get something creative out of the experience, be it inspiration for an original work or motivation to write even a small snippet from a character's point of view, then some minor productivity manages to emerge overall. I'm approaching Warcraft the way I do movies these days. I keep my brain on.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Azeroth is my Gym

Azeroth is my Gym — Blue Ink Alchemy

Why don't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet dragon ride? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. With a few exceptions, I'm not entirely focused on World of Warcraft when I'm playing it. The aforementioned exception is the dungeons & raids. I stay focused in there. Mostly because I don't want to stuck at playing whichever role I happen to be playing at the time. If I'm DPS, I want to top the damage charts. If I'm tanking, I don't want anybody else getting smacked in the face. And nobody dies on my watch when I'm healing, otherwise you have every right to call me a tosser. There are exceptions to the exceptions, too, since some of the dungeons I've seen and finished on my main character about a hundred times. If the run's routine, and populated with random folk I've never met who are all sporting gear as good as or better than mine, I can slip into the place where I spend the bulk of my Warcraft time. Half in the actual game, half in other places. You see, being in the fantasy world of Azeroth is to my brain what being in the gym is to other people's bodies. I don't go to a gym. I can't afford it, and while I might benefit from extended physical activity on a regular basis, I see walking to and from the train stations in Lansdale & Doylestown as an adequate amount of physical exercise, more than most in my sedentary line of work get as they sit in traffic cursing at some jerk in a BMW who cut them off while yammering on their Bluetooth and sipping their latte. Suckers. Back on topic. Wandering around the huge game world of Blizzard's MMO, I find inspiration almost everywhere I turn. The towering spires of Dalaran, that whole floating city in fact, reminds me a great deal of the similar cities I've conceptualized in Citizen in the Wilds. The lush, overgrown landscape of Sholazar Basin invokes those selfsame Wilds. Northrend, in general, is a big reason why I got off my ass and was able to finish the first draft of Citizen, and is a constant reminder that I have more editing to do before it's ready to present to agents and professional editors. I'm also using the background and ongoing stories for Warcraft characters as exercises in writing. I'm looking out for passive voice. I'm keeping things simple and brief. I'm killing darlings. Even if only a half-dozen people read the stuff that emerges from those exercises, I'm keeping my writing knives and scalpels sharp. But those exercises wouldn't come to be at all if I weren't playing the game. I know that playing the game as much as I do doesn't make me as productive as I could be. However, if I try to get something creative out of the experience, be it inspiration for an original work or motivation to write even a small snippet from a character's point of view, then some minor productivity manages to emerge overall. I'm approaching Warcraft the way I do movies these days. I keep my brain on.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

The Art of the Retcon

The Art of the Retcon — Blue Ink Alchemy

At one point in his writing career, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle got so sick of his star character, the inimitable Sherlock Holmes, that he killed the poor guy off. The short story "The Final Problem" had Holmes fighting his arch-enemy, Professor Moriarty, on the edge of the treacherous Reichenbach Falls and both men falling to their apparent deaths. Fans were, to say the least, displeased. There's even a story that a woman screamed "Murderer!" at him on the street. So, to keep the cash flow going, Doyle brought Holmes back, in "The Adventure of the Empty House." This is a great example of retroactive continuity - the "retcon". Basically, if you find the plot of an established story going in a different direction, or a character is developing in ways that you're less than impressed with, it could be time for a retcon. There are, naturally, good and bad ways to go about this. I've seen both and, while I can't exactly site specific examples off the top of my head, being somewhat pressed for time, here's a quick paragraph of "don't" followed by one full of "do". The very worse retcons are either an Ass Pull or a deus ex machina. If you bring in a new story element without preamble or your character turns around to move in their new direction with no explanation, it'll likely be seen as the result of one of these and your readers may cry foul. While it's entirely possible to do these things right, sloppy writing or eagerness to explore a new story idea can lead it to going wrong. Doing a retcon right involves some forethought. One of the nice things about starting a tale as late as possible (one of those bits of advice I harp on every chance I get, even with myself) is that you can reference the things that happened before the tale began to give your retcon some plausibility. And the more extensive the universe in which you work, the more elements you can reference or bring in. Basically what it boils down to is being prepared. If you can see where you want your work to go, and it's not heading that way as it's been written, there's always time to correct its course. And the more time you take preparing for the correction, the better the end result will be and the more your readers will love the work for it.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Notes About Vampires

Notes About Vampires — Blue Ink Alchemy

Inspired by a quick rant I did over on GeekTyrant, I thought I'd get some of my thoughts on how I'd like to portray vampires "jotted down". I'm doing it in this way to get some feedback, so please, feel free to comment. Also, in case I need to mention this for the casual passer-by, this is all fictional information. Differences between vampires and humans. The human body is operated by the nervous system, which uses neurons to transmit and receive various kinds of bioelectric energy, which travels through the body on a certain wavelength. The difference between vampires and humans can be explained (though grossly over-simplified) in saying that humans operate on an AM frequency, and vampires on the FM band. Human blood carries oxygen and nutrients to the various systems of the body, maintain bodily temperature and removes wastes. Vampiric blood does none of these things on its own, as the vampiric body is dead and no longer requires oxygen or produces wastes. However, both human and vampiric blood perform hydraulic & repair operations. Vampires heal very quickly in comparison to humans and are capable of feats of strength and agility beyond human scales due to the specialized nature of their blood. The higher frequency of the vampire's nervous system also means a typical vampire has enhanced senses and higher intelligence than a comparable human - that is, provided the new vampire isn't a corpse that's been lingering in a grave for decades. Vampires, blood, and reproduction. In order to maintain function, fresh blood is required on a regular basis, as the dead organs of the vampire's body can no longer produce living cells. The heart of a vampire still beats, though typically at a higher rate than a human's, but other organs, such as the pancreas, liver and kidneys, begin to atrophy due to disuse. Vampires do not reproduce sexually, but sexual behavior can be emulated through the use of blood in order to attract and ensnare prey. A new vampire is created when a body drained of blood, preferably one recently dead, is fed a small quantity of blood from a vampire, then has its lungs filled from the lungs of its vampire 'parent,' jump-starting the technically dead systems. The 'offspring' must feed from a fresh source soon after this in order to maintain function. Recently dead 'offspring' are more capable of discerning their predicament and coping with it in various ways, while corpses dead for a lengthy period of time have typically experienced such decay of their brains that they are little more than zombies (though they crave blood instead of brains, head wounds just bleed more). Vampires, cold iron, garlic and sunlight. Cold iron, that is to say iron in a pure form with a minimum of refinement, is seen as a ward against evil spirits. In the case of vampires, this is more than superstition. The ferrous nature of the metal causes disruption of the hyper-active nervous system of a vampire. An iron stake stabbed or hammered into the heart of a vampire will immobilize it. Wooden stakes suffice if the vampire is at rest, as the stake will make it difficult for the vampire to rise, allowing hunters to behead it and thus destroy it - you can't kill a vampire, as they are already technically dead. Stab a vampire who's up and about with a wooden stake, however, and all you'll get is a bloody shank of wood and a very angry vampire. Clever vampires being hunted will often pretend to fall when staked with wood, only to devour their would-be slayers and remove the stake, more dangerous than before. Also, refined iron and iron alloys like steel do not have the same disruptive effect. This is a fact that leads more modern vampire hunters to shoot a vampire in the heart and then stand motionless and shocked when the vampire doesn't fall down 'dead'. Finally, a large enough amount of iron will utterly repulse a vampire, which is why graveyards often have wrought iron fences. Despite a vampire's ability to vault such obstacles, the nature of the wrought iron keeps the vampire out and thus deprives them of possible 'shock troops' or a safe haven from hunters. Also, garlic repels vampires because their sensitive senses are especially vulnerable to the smell. Very loud noises, such as explosions or jet engines, are also irritants. Finally, vampires tend to get sunburnt more easily than humans, since their skin lacks some of the proteins living humans produce on a daily basis, but are otherwise not instantly reduced to ash by the rays of the sun. Sunlight, however, carries a great deal of power and tends to disrupt a vampire's nervous system, though to a much lesser extent than cold iron. Walking around during the day for a vampire is not unlike a human walking around at 4 am after a full day of work starting at 6 am the previous morning; entirely possible, but the vampire will eventually grow drained, lethargic, and may begin to hallucinate. Fresh blood can maintain a vampire in the same way cans of Red Bull or lines of cocaine can sustain a human during this time, but eventually, they both need to just take a break and get some sleep. It should be noted that vampires, in sunlight, do NOT sparkle. Vampires are subtle. Vampires are predators. They move through the sea of humanity the way a lion moves through the long grass of the savanna stalking its prey. Just like the ill-fated herbivores of that grassland, mortals shouldn't know the smiling, funny and intelligent person buying them drinks and chatting them up is a blood-sucking fiend from beyond the grave until it's far too late. This means you don't flash your fangs at the earliest opportunity. Wearing nothing but black leather and matching longcoats is a good way to get spotted, and while the look is very badass, it's not very subtle. Neither is an open war with lycanthropes, but the big fuzzies are a subject for another notes session. My thinking is that vampires would try to maintain their habits, dress sense and mannerisms from when they were technically alive. This would become more difficult as time goes on, of course, with ancient vampires acting in anachronistic ways and possibly being kept from humanity at large by their subordinates for the good of their society. Vampires are a selective minority. There was a time when vampirism was more rampant, when countrysides and villages were terrorized by these creatures of the night. But power corrupts, and having absolute control over an area leads to a vampire growing decadent and unrestrained. Just because you can rip a peasant's head from their shoulders with a minimum amount of effort doesn't mean you necessarily should. The Inquisition and witch-hunts of the centuries in the middle of the last millennium showed that humanity will not stand for too much that is outside of what they consider 'normal.' They fear what they do not understand, and how someone can remain not only mobile after death but maintain their complexion, charm and holdings is certainly difficult to understand. This means that vampires need to be careful who they choose to bring into their fold. A potential 'offspring' has to have potential that is otherwise going to waste in their daily life. Most vampire 'parents' look for like minds who are frustrated by the restraints of mortal life, be they restrained by their job, circumstances or family situation. Some present the alternative of vampirism in a private and frank manner, while others become intimately involved with their future 'offspring' and bestow vampirism as a gift, which may or may not be received kindly. The minority among this selective minority are the 'accidents', humans who are drained to death and given vampiric breath and blood in order to save their life. This is often seen as an act by someone inexperienced or immature, as not everybody can handle the reality of vampirism and becoming emotionally attached to humans is seen by some of the older vampires as an utterly idiotic act. How attached, they reason, did you become to your steak or salad when you were alive? Vampires are dangerous and societal. The high frequency of the vampire's nervous system coupled with a highly specialized circulatory system makes them powerful creatures. On instinct, the circulatory system can lengthen the incisors of the vampire into the distinctive fangs used for feeding as well as defense. With training, a vampire can use their blood to lengthen their nails as well, which make for sharp but brittle defensive weapons. The most dangerous vampires have trained themselves to strengthen these weapons to the point that they can perform truly superhuman feats when their superior strength and agility is taken into account, such as climbing walls without visible support, tearing the door from a car and hurling it away, and surviving leaps from tall buildings without breaking a single bone. While such displays are frowned upon by vampire society at large, there are times when a vampire has no other choice but to reveal the full extent of their powers. It has been argued that these powers are part and parcel of being predators of the human race, but that the most dangerous power a vampire possesses is time. Given enough time to research and train, vampires can use their unique nature to explore powers, theories and abilities hitherto unknown amongst humanity. Use of blood in the brain's largely dormant areas can spark even higher levels of intelligence, reportedly unlocking the potential for telepathy or telekinesis. It has been theorized that the vampiric body is something more than its dead tissues and is capable of changing shape, density and even state, leading to the myth of vampires becoming "as mist" - if there is truth to this myth, vampires aren't confirming it. In order to remain capable and unpredictable predators, vampire society cultivates an atmosphere of secrets and mystery, maintained by a codex of laws governing how vampires interact with humanity, the 'legal' scope and nature of research into the vampiric condition, and punishment for infractions, ranging from dismemberment of varying degrees (severed limbs can be reattached) to incineration while conscious, the most severe and final of penalties. Vampires are territorial. Also governed by laws are the territories of vampires and the ways in which one vampire may enter, contest or even seize the territory of another. After the Inquisition, it was decided by the oldest surviving vampires that such interactions needed to happen under certain guidelines, that would allow vampires to hunt without worrying about confrontations that might lead to the use of overt superhuman abilities and thus draw undue attention to the society as a whole. However, like any species of predators, hunting grounds will be contested and fought over. It's become less common for these contests to be physical altercations, more often resolved in more civilized formats such as chess matches, poker games, or elaborate high-stakes gambits involving sports venues, politics or banking ventures. Vampires are monsters. Being formerly dead, vampires are no longer human. This can be difficult to cope with in the case of the victim turned vampire. Those who do learn to adapt, however, grow comfortable with their new state and even revel in it. Just like a wine connoisseur enjoying the perfect merlot, or a steak fanatic sampling a cut of top sirloin, vampires become selective of their prey and truly enjoy the act of feeding from a particular kind of human, with the act of feeding releasing endorphins not unlike the act of sex for humans. And with the hyper-sensitive systems of the vampire, this feeling is all the more potent. Feeding from animals does not have quite the same effect, and drinking blood from bags is the vampiric equivalent of eating cold pizza. While feeding from humans is inherently monstrous, it's also the best and most enjoyable way to gain sustenance. It behooves individual vampires, then, to grow accustomed to the act. That's all I can think of for now.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Movie Review: Daybreakers

Movie Review: Daybreakers — Blue Ink Alchemy

Wow, it's been a while since I've reviewed a current movie. I blame my job schedule and related finances. Anyway, when I got a couple of movie passes for Christmas, my wife and I debated what we'd go see. We settled on Daybreakers and, well, anything I say here is going to sound a lot like MovieBob's review. But you know something? It's so good it's worth giving the "Go See This" treatment at least twice. The movie stars Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Claudia Karvan, Michael Dorman, Isabel Lucas and Sam Neill.

Stuff I Didn't Like

"Hmm, apparently if we extract sparkles and Dawson's Creek romantic crap from the movie, it'll be completely awesome!"

• To be honest, Ethan Hawke's character reminded me of Brad Pitt's from Interview with a Vampire. Now, I know vampires are nothing new, and a reluctant vampire can easily shuffle the character into the 'protagonist' category, but I think he protested a bit too much. It didn't really get to the point of annoyance, but it came close. Not necessarily a bad thing, per se, this is just my personal opinion.
• I'm not sure why vampires explode when staked. My wife gives me crap for getting hung up on the fine details on vampirism when I should be more concerned about how blood-sucking fiends from beyond the grave even exist in the first place. I guess this is another personal fault, since I've worked with vampires quite a bit in a writing and gaming sense for many years. I mean when I've participated in vampire LARPs, nobody explodes when staked so I guess I'm sort of used to that. (Yes, I've LARPed in the past, shut up.)

Stuff I Liked

"Awesome, you say. Will it still appeal to the powerful and lucrative tween demographic? No? Then keep the sparkles in. This I command."

• There are so many little touches that remind you that these vampires are from the old school. They don't cast reflections, they don't have pulses and they have to inhale right before speaking since they don't have to breathe. Their fangs are always out and their eyes are disconcerting unnatural colors. It's a refreshing change from what we've had to deal with recently.
• The metaphors on fuel shortage and the examples of corporate greed overwhelming the long-term benefits to humanity don't overshadow the characterization or storytelling. They exist, they state their points and move on. Sort of like the Ethan Hawke/Brad Pitt parallel brushing the annoyance factor (again, in my opinion), the metaphors nudge but never quite mount the soapbox. They are good lessons that are well-presented, and like District 9, it's nice to see an action genre flick that has something to say other than "HERE ARE SOME EFFECTS."
• I liked the degeneration of vampires into chiropteran monsters, and the varying reactions of the 'refined' vampires to the animalistic cannibals that were once friends or even family. As much as the vampires are themselves fiends, the different ways in which they deal with these unfortunates actually gives them a layer of humanity.

Stuff I Loved

"Look, friend, you better keep the sparkles outta my vampire flick, or so help me I will go completely Green Goblin on your ass."

• Sam Neill. I love the way he projects cold, objective creepiness in all of his scenes. He's very much an old-school vampire, Dracula in a suit, uncompromising in the realization of his desires and ruthless in the execution of his will. He's manipulative, he's diabolic, and I adored every scene he was in.
• Willem Dafoe. I don't know if I need to say much more about the man, as he's one of the most versatile and memorable character actors I've ever seen, and this performance is no exception. It's almost like he and Sam are vying for the position of 'most awesome character' in this movie, and I think it's just about a tie. I love his cars, too - I think my father owned a Firebird Trans Am at one point.
• In spite of his reluctant vampire role in the first act, Ethan Hawke does a great job of giving us a main character with an arc we can follow and growth we can support. Again, my initial near-annoyance with his constant protestation wore off very quickly, and he's one of the characters that show real humanity and depth. I have to admit I'm not terribly familiar with a lot of his work, and after seeing Daybreakers, I know I need to change that.
• The pace of this film, and the tightness of its storytelling, are just about perfect. It doesn't throw too many things at us at once so we lose track of what's going on or what's at stake, it takes the time to develop its characters just enough for us to care about them, it doesn't skimp on the action or the gore, and it does all of this with the sparing use of special effects and a brevity that's refreshing and compelling.
• The scene in the shade of the tree where Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe meet for the first time was done so well I about giggled with glee. From the car's automated warning about the UV level to Hawke all but dancing from one pool of shadow to the next, the scene was downright exceptional. I got the feeling he was in real danger, putting himself at extreme risk for the sake of something he believed in. This scene caused most of my initial annoyance at his character to evaporate, and from then on I was definitely rooting for him.

Bottom Line: I'm going to reiterate MovieBob's sentiment: You should go see this. I know some people out there aren't big fans of gore, which means they're missing out on a great example of screenwriting, acting and direction. It's paced perfectly, the story is packed expertly, every character has nuances and depth and the action ramps up towards the end to just the right pitch. If you can handle a good amount of on-screen blood, especially in the film's third act, Daybreakers is a satisfying and rousing revival of the old-school vampire movie. It does everything right, doesn't sell you short and will leave you wanting more. Go sink your metaphorical fangs into it. This is a badass movie, and it is definitely, definitely worth your time.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Player versus Player - Who's the Villain?

Player versus Player - Who's the Villain? — Blue Ink Alchemy

I've been accused, in the past, of being something of a care bear when it comes to PvP content in games. Thankfully, there's help, even for someone like me. I'm slowly rediscovering what it means to take joy in the misery of other players, thanks to my return to Team Fortress 2. Along with a resurgence of a competitive nature that more often than not takes the form of a stream of expletives, as 2Fort is SRS BZNS*, it's given me cause to think about what makes good and not-so-good PvP content in both tabletop and on-line games. In single-player games, it's good to have a single villain or a group of antagonists that clearly stand between the player and their objective. And straight-forward dungeon crawls often benefit from pitting multiple players against a single intelligence, be it a human GM or a programmed AI that respawns enemies as you click your way around the dark tunnels. As much as the Steam game Torchlight evokes the nostalgia of hours spent exploring the many and varied underground demon-guarded caches of loot in Diablo II, it misses the benefits of many people diving into the game to face more powerful enemies in the name of grabbing shinier equipment. But I'm wandering off my point, which is that in those cases, it's good to have a single bad guy. But what happens when your potential player base expands beyond a handful of intrepid adventurers? Sometimes, you just have to pit one group of adventurers against another. There are a few ways to do this.

1. Always Evil, All The Time

In the old World of Darkness, most notably in Vampre: The Masquerade, factions were a completely player-based thing. While the threat of the Antideluvians coming back to life and consuming their children in an orgy of blood-fueled Armageddon was an ever-constant threat, most of the night-to-night problems were caused by one group of vampires (the Camarilla) fighting against the other (the Sabbat). What was the cause of this conflict, you ask? The Sabbat's evil. Now, no vampire can really be described as 100% "good," no matter what Team Edward might say. Even your most approachable and human-friendly blood-sucking fiend is still a blood-sucking fiend. But if the Camarilla are vampires who talk nice to their cows before killing them in a humane way in order to carve them into delicious well-made marinated steaks, the Sabbat laugh as they kick the cows mooing into a giant meat grinder to churn out the greasiest, nastiest, cheapest "heart-attack-on-a-bun" burgers possible, selling them to the public at $10 US a pop as 'classic American hamburgers'. There may or may not be babies in there, too. Baby cows, hopefully. Though I wouldn't rule out kittens. This conflict is built into the core game. There's no ambiguity or much room for interpretation, one side's less evil and more amenable towards humanity, while the other is thoroughly nasty and definitely not family-friendly. While it can be fun to be the bad guy every now and again, having your entire motivation be puppy-punting grandma-incinerating nastiness all day every day gets a bit old after a while. Which might be why that game ended. Anyway, future iterations of the World of Darkness would see factions be more ambiguous in certain ways, and rather than saying "X and Y are locked into AN ETERNAL STRUGGLE FOR SUPREMACY UNTIL KINGDOM COME," it's much more "Here are some factions you guys can play in. Decide for yourselves how they get along. Have fun!"

2. Affably Evil, or Evilly Affable?

Team Fortress 2 is a bit like that. Neither RED nor BLU is clearly defined as being on one side or the other of the "Good/Evil" scale. Leaving aside the role the Announcer may or may not play in the conflict, the motivations of the teams pretty much boil down to healthy competition. With live ammunition and sharp objects. Not to mention explosives. Anyway, the point is that it's up to individual players to fill in the blanks. It's a straightforward, simple system that works well in on-line shooters. It could almost be considered the polar opposite of the strict pigeonholing of the old World of Darkness. When you get into on-line games involving more than a few dozen players, though, things get a bit more complex.

3. The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Enemy, Too

World of Warcraft and Aion have something in common. The players in these games select one of two factions, which are essentially flip sides of the same coin. They do fight each other, but larger external threats demand the attention of both sides and can sometimes lead to alliances of convenience (the Wrathgate in WoW for example). This allows players access to both PvP and PvE play styles, and interested parties can either strike a balance of time between both, or eschew one entirely in pursuit of excellence in the other. Or people can do what I used to do, which is fart around on dailies trying to earn enough money for a flying mount that's only slightly faster than one I could build with my bare hands as an Engineer. More on this when I discuss World of Warcraft more in-depth on Saturday. There's change coming, and it might be good. Good enough to return to Azeroth? The jury's still out. Basically, when you want to engender player-versus-player conflict in your games, be it on the table or through the Intertubes, it's best to let it grow on its own. Give players fields in which to compete and let them go at it. There's really no need to give them motivations other than "they're not on our side." However, if you want to give the other side a nudge, just hit 'em with incriminating photos of a family member. Their mom, for instance. *No, not really.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

My Vampires Are, In Fact, Different

My Vampires Are, In Fact, Different — Blue Ink Alchemy

A lot of my anxiety from pushing forward with a series of Lighthouse stories comes from the fact that there's paranormal stuff out the wazoo out there. I mean, there's a part of me that's interested in getting a slice of that action, because apparently people suck it right up (insert vampire joke here), but I also know that a lot of the ground has been pretty trod. It's a part of the speculative fiction market littered with Robert Pattinson posters from J-14 or whatever magazine caters to his fangirls this week, and love notes to Anna Paquin from her fangirls. Then I remember something I thought was said by Marc Schuster, but consulting my notes I see it was spoken by Larry Kane, legendary Philadelphia newscaster and himself an aspiring novelist: "Don't believe that just because something has been written about that you can't write about it." ("They didn't necessarily do a good job," he added a few sentences later.) So yeah, plenty of stories out there involving vampires and werewolves and wizards and angels and demons and stuff. Some of them even involve paranormal investigators, like the B.P.R.D. or Fringe division. Okay, Fringe division is more about pseudo-science so close to the supernatural it might as well be the supernatural, but I'm going full supernatural instead of the Fringe route. I can't compete with Walter.
Seriously. Nothing I do will be this cool. But I'm trying to go at it from a new angle. I have some history and mechanics laid down. So I need to work on setting and characters, find ways to distinguish why they're different and why readers should care. I need to engineer the ways in which readers will be captivated by these folks, be they humans or otherwise, and might even fall in love. This will involve collecting my disparate attempts at putting this together and, well, putting it together. I'm still in the brainstorming stages. Please forgive my ramblings.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

True Blood vs. Twilight

True Blood vs. Twilight — Blue Ink Alchemy

So here we have two stories first conveyed in novels that are now on screens. True Blood is a series on HBO adapted from the Southern Vampire Mysteries, novels written by Charlaine Harris. Twilight is the latest hot vampire commodity put to paper by Stephanie Meyer. Both deal with vampires living in the boondocks and the women who come across them. There are some similarities between the two of them, and I think it's worth comparing the two. And not unlike the method employed recently by Benjamin Yahtzee Godzilla Croshaw, I thought we might toss these two into a metaphorical steel cage and see which one comes out on top. The Heroines Let's face it. Bella Adoraklutz Swan is a Mary Sue. More specifically, an Author Avatar. The whole premise of Twilight is based on a dream Steph had one night and decided to jot down. I'm willing to be it was a wet one, and won't say any more on the subject. Let's talk about Bella's character instead. She's whiny, passive-aggressive, pretentious and a bit vacuous when it comes to vampires. These are blood-sucking fiends, and even go so far as to tell her so, but she really doesn't care because Edward is damn hot. She jumps right into their world without nary a backward glance to the rest of the rational world. Also, does Bella no longer care about her long-suffering dad when Eddie puts the bite on her and their disturbing spawn? I feel compelled to move on again. Sookie Stackhouse, while gifted with telepathy, is regarded as a freak or retard by most of the fine upstanding folk of Bon Temps. Also, she is NOT a psychic. Don't even think it, she can hear you. Anyway, Sookie only cops an attitude to Bill when he doesn't treat her the way she feels she should be treated, which is like a lady. Her grandma didn't raise no fool. Other than that, she's polite to pretty much everybody when in public, regardless of how much of a dick they are. She also learns quickly which vampire myths apply to Bill and his folk, and while she doesn't actively use what she knows against them, she holds onto the knowledge for self-defense purposes. She's awestruck by the various supernaturals that wander in or around Bon Temps, but she's not dumb about it. For me, Sookie's the clear winner, by far. True Blood 1, Twilight 0. Our First Vampire Edward Cullen can be summed up in eight words: "THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER, BELLA." We get the impression that Edward is repulsed by his own nature, especially when it comes to his feelings towards Bella and the way he is compelled to react to her scent and presence. He still wants to chat her up, but his utter digust in regards to his overall horribleness prevents him from always saying the right thing to bring Bella into his life and allow her to marry him so they can get it on. So he subsists on stalking her and whining. It's like Edward just got bit last week and he's still emo about it. William Compton is perfectly comfortable with who and what he is. He doesn't necessarily want Sookie to get involved in his world, but he isn't going to stop her directly, considering he's fascinated by her. There's also the fact that, when necessary, he can replicate the destruction of a localized tornado or make a state trooper piss himself in the most polite and even of voices. Without a hint of hesitation, Bill taps into his years of experience to protect himself and what is his - not that he'd call Sookie 'his' if he weren't in mixed company. This brings me to a direct comparison. When Edward first meets Bella's father, he seems to shuffle his feet and grow even more introverted and quiet than usual. Bill calls on Sookie like a proper gentleman, chats up her grandmother, brother and best friend, and while he doesn't apologize to Tara for owning slaves back in the late 1800s, he does comport himself in a polite and sociable manner. For my money, I'd much rather have a gentleman in my home than a whining perpetual teenager. True Blood 2, Twilight 0. Vampires in General The Cullens of Forks, and vampires in general in the Twilight world, don't want humanity at large to know they exist. So they either live as "vegetarians" (despite the fact the Cullens use that term and it doesn't mean what they think it means) or wander from place to place looking for their next snack. This leads to things like the Cullen 'children' repeating high school over and over again - which, to me, would be a very particular and torturous level of Hell. But at least they don't reveal their natures to everybody. Just to whinging auburn-haired fresia-scented girls that make eyes at them. With the advent of Japanese synthetic blood in bottles, vampires in the world of Sookie Stackhouse have come "out of the coffin." This is a bad idea on several levels. I'm sure some vampires have long memories and can recall things like the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, and the persecution of gays. "Have you ever tried not being a vampire?" is a question I'm sure that's been asked of the likes of Bill Comption. Right before the questioner's throat gets torn out. Vampires don't generally play well with others, folks. The premise of True Blood is interesting but doesn't make a great deal of sense in the light of the rampant prejudice and xenophobia of humanity at large. Do you really want sharks in your swimming pool? True Blood 2, Twilight 1. (by the way, the answer is no.) Setting & Human Beings Forks, Washington is a bit of a backwater town that benefits from perpetual cloud cover and adorable new girls in school. This quaint little town is also blissfully unaware of the rampant diamond-skinned killers and their long-standing fur-covered rivals. This reduces Forks to little more than a dioramatic backdrop for the Saga of Bella and Edward, A Romance to Rival the Ages. Despite the aforementioned and somewhat slight quibble I have with the premise of True Blood, it allows us a much more deep and nuanced look into our own society and its reactions to the unexplained and somewhat weird. Bon Temps, Louisiana is a hick town full of rednecks. Some of them don't like vampires very much, some support them getting rights but don't want them in town, and some have sex with them for fun. This spectrum of reactions to vampirism make it a bit more interesting a setting than Forks, again because of the somewhat flawed premise. In other words, True Blood is an example of a bad premise executed well, while Twilight is a less damaged premise executed poorly. True Blood 3, Twilight 1. The Hypotenuse Spoiler Alert: In this case, the other leg of the love triangles in both stories is a shapeshifter. In the case of True Blood, Sam is very protective of Sookie but maintains a respectable distance. Mostly he tries to give her advice that will keep her safe but respects her independence. He's also aware of her telepathic ability, which is another reason he tries not to interfere too much. She has a history of overhearing the thoughts of men, which causes her to lead a somewhat lonely life. Jacob Black, on the other hand, is filled to his furry brim with jealousy over the one true love of Bella and Edward. For several novels he pines for the irresistable and luscious Bella and curses fate that she's more of a fangbanger than a furry. Do I really need to say any more about this? True Blood 4, Twilight 1. So by the final score, True Blood comes out on top. Which is appropriate, considering that this is an HBO series as opposed to stories steeped in Mormon dogma & mentality, and has the usual HBO touches, if you know what I mean. Oh yes. I want to do bad things with you.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

When You're Evil

When You're Evil — Blue Ink Alchemy

Russ Pitts' triumphant return as an Escapist columnist prompted me to finally lay down some thoughts on villainy. A little roleplaying in World of Warcraft on my characters reminded me how much fun it can be to write for or portray a villain. My brother-in-law, when running Dungeons & Dragons is described as "an evil DM," always bringing out the malevolence in his NPCs so that the player characters in his campaigns are always motivated to dispense a little adventurous justice. My father's an attorney. I'm surrounded by villainy. There are all sorts of villains, however, and every one of them sees themselves more or less in a positive light, if not convinced that they are the hero. Let's stay with the D&D theme for a few archetypal examples.

Lawful Evil

Some villains actually try to uphold the law. Sure, the laws might be corrupt or warped in some way, but it's still a structure for peace and order. Police states can be peaceful, after all. There are also villains who have a personal code of honor they will not violate under any circumstances. "No women, no kids," for example. Sometimes they verge a bit into anti-hero territory, but for the most part, these villains don't pursue villainy for its own sake - they pursue the law, or justice, as they see it. Take Darth Vader. For the most part, when he is Darth Vader, he's hunting down terrorists and insurgents, trying to stop a full-on rebellion against the established government. His methods are somewhat draconian and he isn't one to compromise or even show remorse, but he's pursing a noble end in the eyes of the Empire's creators.

Neutral Evil

Some people are motivated selfishly. They want what they want, and that's it. Some are compromised in the pursuit of their desires by their morals or ethics, or the restrictions of society's laws. Others... not so much. They're seen as villains, but in their own minds, they're just getting what they want. Not quite as unpredictable as the upcoming alignment, but not as restricted as their lawful cousins, neutral evil characters are wild cards. They're often as charismatic as they are ruthless, as fun to be around as they are chillingly dominant. They strive to be masters of their domain, and really could care less about things that aren't the things that they want. Look no further than Eric Northman of HBO's True Blood for a fantastic example of both a Neutral Evil character who's also a Magnificent Bastard. Even when he's acting his most vampiric, speaking in cold, dispassionate tones about human beings like they're slabs of meat, there's something of a twinkle in his eye, the occasional twitch of his mouth that reaches for a smirk. We do see other sides of him, especially when it comes to his Maker, but for the most part he's about as evil as Neutral Evil can get.

Chaotic Evil

You have villains who pursue the law or their own code of honor for the sake of those laws or that code. You have villains who just want what they feel is coming to them, even if they have to lie, cheat, or murder to get it. And then you have these guys. Chaotic Evil villains aren't necessarily crazy. They might, however, string you up by your nostril hairs and slap you around with meter-long pieces of rebar if you call them crazy. No, Chaotic Evil villains are motivated by a desire to destroy everything they see so something new can be built up in its place. Or perhaps they've had a vision of Hell coming to Earth to shake the complacent religious types out of their stupor and give them something worth fighting for if their faith is, indeed, true. They have a goal in mind, but the path to that goal isn't exactly mapped out. If it were, the map would be covered in squiggles of blood and crayon. They may believe what they're doing will ultimately benefit the world, in some way shape or form, but for the most part? They just do things. Which brings me to the late Heath Ledger's Joker. Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson and Mark Hamill have all taken turns playing Batman's favorite monstrous clown, but Heath & Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan took the insanity to a whole new level. By removing some of the more ridiculous trappings of the character and focusing on his anarchistic mindset, the Joker came across as a true agent of chaos. He wanted to show people what he felt was their true nature. His goal was to bring down the carefully-crafted artifices of civility and organization some used to hide their deepest desires. He lived out loud, which is something any artist should want to do, but did it in a very violent and very infectious way. It affected everybody around him, as he probably knew it would. He just didn't know how. Nor did he know for certain what he'd do next - just that something needed doing. Name some of your favorite bad guys. Where do you think they fall? How do you think they see themselves? And how might their villainy be perceived as heroism by some? Food for thought.

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Blue Ink Alchemy

Doing Bad Things Well

Doing Bad Things Well — Blue Ink Alchemy

There are lots of stories out there with vampires in, but few keep me coming back for more. I only made it through the first few chapters of Twilight. I haven't touched anything related to the Cirque du Freak. And as much as I think that the Coppola/Oldman Dracula from 1992 is something of an ur-text for how vampires should be portrayed, I only watch it every couple of years. True Blood is different. It's not just the fact that it's doled out to us episodically or that it's on HBO, if you know what I mean. I could point to broad things like "scary good writing" or "excellent production values" (the occasional botched special effect aside) but I think there's more to it. Let's sink our fangs in a bit deeper.

Realistic Relationships

Now, obviously, I'm not referring to a relationship between a vampire and a girl who might be part fairy as 'realistic'. What I mean is, the way Sookie and Bill deal with one another, the trials they face and the problems that occur strikes me as not only realistic, but mature. These are two individuals who care very deeply for one another. And unlike some of the other manifestations of such a relationship that are out there, these two not only go to great lengths in an attempt to secure each others' happiness, they also communicate their feelings to one another to the best of their ability. Sometimes the words come out all wrong, and sometimes Bill loses his mind from starvation and nearly kills Sookie, but this leads me to the thing that really underscores the power of this relationship. They want to work together to make the relationship a lasting one, because they love each other that much. Even when Sookie is so mad at Bill she could spit nails, to the point of pushing him away, it's clear she still feels every bit as intensely now as she did when she first met him. And Bill would step aside to let Sookie be with someone who could give her children and not drag her into the blood-drenched world of his kind, because he loves her deeply and cares more about her happiness than just about anything else. It's a nuanced and well-developed relationship that continues to be realistic in its portrayal of those in the real world, rather than becoming a parody or worse, some form of moralizing. I'm looking at you, Ms. Meyer.

Positive, Deep Characters

Let's face it. "God hates fangs" is one letter away from being a very real and very disturbing messages some churches love to propagate. True Blood is something of an Aesop (albeit a broken one) for many minorities that are discriminated against. A lot of fiction out there prefers to play this discrimination or stereotype for laughs rather than give us a positive view of what these people are really like. For example, while there is some good stuff in The Birdcage, for the most part it's a madcap comedy. True Blood went in a different direction than comedic representation from the very first episode, with Lafayette. In the Southern Vampire Diaries, Lafayette's something of a minor character. In the television series, he's come to play a pretty important role in the goings-on. He's unashamed of who he is, unafraid to put a few extra touches on himself to look gorgeous and definitely willing to throw punches at folk who have a problem with him being who he is. Now, the fact that he's a drug dealer and occasionally puts on webcam shows of himself aren't terribly positive aspects of the character, but he's made it clear that he cares more about the people in his life - his cousin Tara, Sookie, his mother, etc - than any cash he might make. He's a pretty stand-up guy, when you get right down to it, and he's always around to talk sense into folk when they're being dumb. Most of the characters show this sort of depth, but... not all of them are positive.

Compelling Villains

With the likes of Eric and Russell Edgington running around, it's clear that True Blood isn't interested in making their villains one-dimensional cackling characters in the mold of Snidely Whiplash. As the show progresses, the raising of the stakes comes with more interesting and difficult to predict antagonists. Neither of the affecting forces in the second season, Maryann or the Fellowship of the Sun, can really hold a candle to Russell Edgington. What will it mean, I wonder, if Eric actually manages to take Russell down? Will that make Eric, by default, the biggest vampire bad on the block? It's not even clear if Eric is a villain, per se. While he was clearly started as something of an antagonist towards Bill and Sookie's idea of a quiet life together, he's shifted into more of a gray area. He's a bastard, sure, and manipulates people around him without much thought outside of himself most of the time. But he does care about things - Godric, Pam, avenging his mortal family who've been dead over a thousand years - and more than once shows that under the quiet, confident smirks and deadpan remarks is a character every bit as deep and complex as the protagonists. Whichever side of the fence Eric ends up on, be it that of our heroes or that of himself first and foremost, I'm definitely a fan.

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Those are just a few reasons True Blood works as a tale with vampires in, and why people like me are tuning in every week. Of course, having vampires that look like this doesn't hurt, either: Unfortunately I won't be able to see tonight's episode until around Wednesday. Hopefully I can avoid spoilers, but I am dying to know what happens after Mr. Edgington's little telecast.

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Blue Ink Alchemy