500 Words on Being the DM

500 Words on Being the DM — Blue Ink Alchemy

If you've played Dungeons & Dragons, I suspect you've had moments where you've wanted nothing more than for your player to become transcendent in their heroism, the center of the narrative at the table, or both. You don't just want to be a hero; you want to be THE hero, with all eyes on you. Dungeon Masters can fall into similar traps: you, the DM, want the party to adhere to your narrative like a locomotive to its rails, and you get frustrated when these little humanoids defy your god-like will by making different choices. These are fallacious thoughts. The DM is not a puppet-master. Players are not demigods. And the story is not on rails. D&D is just as much an exercise in collaborative storytelling as it is a fantasy combat simulator. Everyone coming to the table is there to have fun, to work together to create that environment, and to cheer each other on as the epic story grows, changes, and builds. The DM does not exist above this experience, as some divine or diabolical overseer. They are a part of it, narrating the tissue that connects the players to the world and each other, as well as playing referee when conflict inevitably ensues. And I'm not just talking about the conflict that involves dice. Personalities are going to clash. Dice are going to roll terribly. Discrepancies between rules and reality will arise. And let's not forget we're talking about gamers, some of whom love nothing better than to find ways to 'game the system' for their maximum benefit — cheat codes in video games serve the same purpose. It's a game, and who doesn't like to win? The thing is, though, D&D is just as much a story as it is a game, and in a story, the winners are those who both tell and hear the story, not those who constantly do everything "right" or constantly "win". Those characters get very tiresome very quickly. For my part, I think it's important, especially as a DM, to think about how decisions and rulings impact the feelings of the players at the table. Sure, a player breaking a weapon or injuring themselves due to a mishap makes for a dramatic consequence for the character or builds atmosphere for a darker world, but how will the player feel? Does it help anybody but myself if I tell a player "that's a bad idea," or "no I won't allow that"? If it's within the rules, why not let them try? Conversely, as a player, I don't want to give my DM a hard time, nor make my fellow players feel inadequate or unimportant. I don't like feeling that way, why impose that feeling on someone else? If we're coming together at the table to have fun, shouldn't we work together, communicate together, to make sure that happens? I don't have easy answers to these questions, but they're worth pondering. While we ponder, we can also read more tips on being a DM! On Fridays I write 500 words. Special thanks to Geek & Sundry for the use of Matt Mercer's face and DM tips in the link at the end. Critical Role is a fantastic show!

---

Blue Ink Alchemy